Would you be mad?
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Anonymous
I don't think DH truly realized he was being manipulated until yesterday. |
Anonymous
Does he realize that now, or do you think he'll want to give FIL the money? |
Anonymous
Is that you, OP's SIL? Seriously, under what circumstances is it acceptable for OP to be left alone without transportation when her husband's out fishing? |
Anonymous
I don't think he would give FIL money. |
Anonymous
+1000 this. I think the issue is that you are so pissed about other things with his family that this is the straw that broke the camel's back. The issue is that with your car in the shop, he wasn't being considerate taking an all day trip with the only car. He needed to either work with you to make sure you had everything you needed before taking the car for the day, have someone pick him up, change his fishing trip, have you bring him, uber to his dad's and have them drop him off etc...there were maybe 4 or 5 other acceptable options that would have been more considerate. And I don't get while you are bawling other than tears of frustration over other stuff.. I would have woken up the baby from a nap and driven him (not great but better than being stuck with no transportation other than uber or taxi) rather than let him drive off with our only car for the day. I mean, I get that it's a pain in the rump to wake a baby from a nap and then get them back to sleep but there are rare times when that happens, like what if I had to drive my DH to the airport and right that moment the baby fell asleep - I'm going to say oh well, you may miss your flight but you have to call a cab because the baby's is sleeping? Or I had to bring the baby for her pediatrician appt and she fell asleep, I pay a cancel fee and reschedule? It's important to keep a schedule but you can't be so tied to it that it's death before ever changing the napping schedule/waking the baby. Final piece of advice is don't play into the power struggle. You are making it about the time he spends with his parents when it is really about his responsibility to you and his child so you are playing into the parents trap and you may getting push back from him because it seems like you are trying to dictate/control him. You have to work WITH him on how to balance things, not dictate to him how he should handle it. |
Anonymous
| Assuming your sister has a car, go get groceries and live your life. Stop being so dramatic. So many excuses OP. |
froggymom
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| It might be time to sit down with DH and have an honest conversation with him. Of course his family is important and I think it's great that you go with him a couple of times a month to visit them. However, he has a responsibility to you and DD too. He might need to hear how you are feeling and together set some guidelines for the relationship that work for both of you. |
Anonymous
What if their kid got sick? Or cut? Or touched or ate something and had an allergic reaction? Should she call an ambulance or a taxi? I made sure I was never without a car, especially when my kids were little. |
Anonymous
| Not OP. To all those suggestion how she could have worked out to have a car, it was as easy as her DH driving to his Dad's and then driving back to his house in his car while his Dad was in his car and leaving the car at their house. They live 10 minutes away! Not to mention the idiocy of his Dad not just picking him up! If I understood right, OP's DH's car was sitting at her ILS's drive way all day loooooooooooooong. |
Anonymous
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I'm calling BS given this new crap from OP. Yeah, that fishing trip got worked out late Saturday night. Now mom has a gambling problem....
"We were away til late Saturday and I couldn't go to the store".....seems like kind of an important detail to leave out, especially when.."DH never does anything with DD and me".. Nothing to see here folks....on to the next story |
Anonymous
No i said he doesn't plan anything with us. I plan the family things and beg him to go. |
Anonymous
Agree. I wouldn't begrudge him a close tie with his family. I don't understand people who expect someone to choose their spouse and kids over their parents, rather than an equally connected relationship. Then the spouse divorces you or cheats on you and you have no family connection to support you. No. You know that Sunday's are usually spent with his family, don't sit around moping and waiting until all the food has run out so you can call him in tears and create a scene. Saturday you should have bought groceries or better still tell him to get groceries since he'll be out with the car next day. On the day he's with family, you plan something fun for yourself and DD and on a different day leave DD with him while you spend time with a friend or doing whatever you enjoy. There are 6 other days in the week for you to see each other, just work around this Sunday plan. Or plan to divorce. Those are your choices. Counseling won't solve this. |
Anonymous
My personal belief is that the family you create should always come first. I'm a Christian and it's in my beliefs. "Blood is thicker than water" meaning the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. You leave and cleave your family of origin and become one with your wife. DH believes this as well. He's struggled lately and not opened up until yesterday. His dad has just been putting a lot on him and it's really gotten to him and he hasn't been putting DD and I first. We're doing ok now. We decided to take some time away from his family and really focus on spending time as a family unit. |
Anonymous
But that means he got to spend every Sunday with you! I think you are being overly dramatic: first, you say that his dad dies every Sunday without his son, then you say his dad replaced him with BIL. |
Anonymous
That was last year. |