Would you be mad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well since I called bawling and he continued to discuss fishing in the background with his dad. I texted him and said "DD and I will be staying with my sister for a few days". He said "you're leaving me because I went fishing with my dad" someone please help me put to words why I'm so angry. I tried to explain that he doesn't put DD and I first.

You're being a little psychotic.

Did you not realize earlier in the week that you were low on groceries, knowing DH is usually gone Sundays?

You are living up to what his family thinks of you right now. Keep at it.

You're a scumbag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you make sure to get food the day before? You knew he was going out.

He goes out every week. When does OP get a break?

Their second car is in the shop. Maybe they didn't have time to get groceries because they were dealing with that. This is telling about how much value her husband places on his nuclear family - which is close to nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be mad if I were you. It's one day that he planned with his dad. You should have gotten groceries prior to the day and 10 minutes is walking distance. There are plenty of things that could have been done to avoid this. You sound jealous, obviously there's more to the story. How come you don't plan dates, or family outings? Why does it fall on your husband? You sound needy. Do you have friends or family to hang out with?

It's not one day. It's half their weekends. Every single week.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need groceries? He's out catching you fish to eat...

[Anonymous]

Do you work OP?

Do you have family nearby?

I want to suggest counseling but people like your DH rarely change, and it's telling that he's minimizing your feelings and refusing to see the real issue. I would start getting my ducks in a row just in case. Hope for the best (try counseling) and plan for the worst (divorce.)

I promise, it's not supposed to be this way.

[Anonymous]

I would be more than mad. You two need marriage counseling. DH needs to start thinking of you and your kids as family and his parents/siblings as his family of origin. Both important, sure, but your and your kids' needs come first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well since I called bawling and he continued to discuss fishing in the background with his dad. I texted him and said "DD and I will be staying with my sister for a few days". He said "you're leaving me because I went fishing with my dad" someone please help me put to words why I'm so angry. I tried to explain that he doesn't put DD and I first.

"No, I'm leaving because you left me [b]AND YOUR DAUGHTER in the house with no car and no food." would be my response. He needs counseling, with or without you.

I fixed it for you.

OP, I bet as much as it hurts that he's putting you last, it has got to be gut wrenching to see him show that kind of disregard for his own child. This is why you're so upset.

[Anonymous]

Lock down your birth control, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be mad if I were you. It's one day that he planned with his dad. You should have gotten groceries prior to the day and 10 minutes is walking distance. There are plenty of things that could have been done to avoid this. You sound jealous, obviously there's more to the story. How come you don't plan dates, or family outings? Why does it fall on your husband? You sound needy. Do you have friends or family to hang out with?

Not OP. Why don't you read the whole thread before posting? It is every single weekend, one whole day long, plus he sees his Dad several times during the work week in the evenings. Plus they tried to get him away from his wife last year and his Dad stopped seeing his son, and acted like a jerk and replaced him with son in law. His family hates her, and acts like they are a jealous girlfriend when he is at his home with her. As of right now, her DH is blaming it all on her begrudging him one day of fishing, and not seeing that it is non stop. She is like a hidden mistress, and not his actual wife. He spends time with her and their baby, when and if, he is allowed/wants to.

[Anonymous]

Spending all day with his family who lives 10 minutes away is weird, but today, I only see poor planning on both of your parts. You knew your car was in the shop and he would be with his family this Sunday, as he is every Sunday (which youve allowed). Order something for today and go to the store when he gets back, and plan better for next time.

If this arrangement doesn't work for you and you don't feel like stewing every Sunday, then it's ultimatum time.

[Anonymous]

Are you saying he spends all day every Sunday with his family? Or just a few hours?

[Anonymous]

Is there an inheritance involved? Is that why your dh tries so hard with them?

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, sorry your DH sounds like a jerk. I can relate to your story as my DHs family behaves the exact same way, however, my husband doesn't fall for their crap anymore. He doesn't see them very often now because of the years of manipulation he suffered from them. They tried many times to break us up and they think I stole their son away when it was their behavior that drove him away. His dad has recently been having health issues and we have started visiting them more often. I hope your DH can realize that you guys are his priority now. Leaving for a bit may be the thing he needs to finally cut the cord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. Do you have two cars and did he take one? I think that's really inconsiderate.

Yep, he took our only car we have right now. To make matters worse, I even asked him to have his dad pick him up. He said no because he had to help get the boat ready etc. So our truck is 10 minutes away just sitting in his dad's driveway. They took his dad's truck.

So, walk over and get it.

Clearly it's 10 minutes by car if her DH drove there in 10 minutes. That could easily be several miles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You married a selfish idiot who comes from selfish idiots.

His dad literally cries and says he's dying when DH doesn't spend a Sunday over there. He's been doing it since we got married 6 years ago. Guess what? Miraculously, he's still alive. Today was DH though. DH planned this trip. The last time DH has planned anything for DD and I is....oh wait that has never happened. He's never even planned a date for us. So it really hurts that he planned something for his dad. If I want to go somewhere as a family I have to plan it. If I want a date night, I plan it. I find the sitter. I do it all.

So to summarize: you married a selfish idiot who was raised by a selfish idiot