How I, a transwoman, use the bathroom

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[Post New]05/26/2016 15:00
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Gaia
Member Offline
Why have men and women bathrooms in the first place? I don't have to have "stats" to prove anything. Unless he/she is fully transitioned he is still a man and until they make all restrooms unisex there are some women/girls not comfortable going to the bathroom with a biological man. A tall women/lesbian can not rape me last time I checked


Fully transitioned is a difficult thing to judge as it really depends on the person.
Also, a woman can absolutely rape you regardless of if she's taller than you or has a different sexual orientation than you. She can forcibly penetrate you with whatever happens to be nearby. She can sexually assault you in other ways.
(Also, just to throw this out there: women can rape men. Men can be victims of rape by men and women.)

No. You must sail in as if you belong there. Go in the stall, do your business and come out. Don't wait on people to leave to wash your hands.

You are drawing attention to yourself by trying to not draw attention to yourself. Women just go into the bathroom - they don't gird their loins and prepare for battle. If someone asks what you are doing in there, you answer truthfully - You need to pee. So pee, wash your hands and leave.


I agree with this and it's something I'm working on, but I still get hit with a rush of anxiety and panic just before I open the door.

If you are getting that many UTI's maybe something else is wrong. Men/male parts generally do not get UTI's like women (in less you've done a complete transformation and not sure what that is involved).

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/understanding-u...ary-tract-infections-treatment

Not a troll, I promise.


I have never heard the term "Cis" and I doubt the majority of people have been using it for 20 years. I do not wish to be referred to as "CIS" gendered so if people have the right to ask people to call them what they want to be called then we have the right not to be called CIS.

Just end this fight right now and declare that what you all really want is UNISEX bathrooms.


Just because you haven't heard the word does not mean it's isn't common. I liken this word to "straight" (versus gay or bisexual). Cis is just an adjective, just like trans is.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:04
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!




Cis is not a real word. It is a made up word.


Neither are hubby, cray cray, and adorbs but people seem to have no trouble around here adapting to their (over)use. Try again.


Don't forget kiddos (which makes me want to claw people's eyes out)
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:13
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, but by forcing yourself in the women's restrooms you are saying your rights are more important. Because you will feel safe but we will not.


There are no cases of trans women attacking cis women in bathrooms. Your irrational fear of trans people just trying to use the toilet is not OPs problem.


This is not true. There was a case in a middle school or high school a year or so ago - I think it was in Colorado? It's not common, but it isn't like it's impossible. Stop treating people like they are stupid for recognizing that the possibility (however slim) exists.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:14
quote
Gaia
Member Offline
Thank you to the words of support, folks, and for keeping this conversation civil.

Please be aware that I know I can make people uncomfortable. That's part of why I try and wait until a bathroom is empty, and try to not draw attention to myself. I don't want to scare you or trigger you. I don't know what you're going through, what you've experienced. (Maybe I look like the man who raped you. I totally get why you would not want to see me in the bathroom where you think you are safe). All I can do is try to make the interactions we have in the bathroom as brief as possible.

And I would actually really like a large, unisex bathroom. Numerous stalls with floor to ceiling doors, large stalls completely ADA accessible, stalls with urinals because urinals save lots of water, and communal sinks.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:17
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, but by forcing yourself in the women's restrooms you are saying your rights are more important. Because you will feel safe but we will not.


There are no cases of trans women attacking cis women in bathrooms. Your irrational fear of trans people just trying to use the toilet is not OPs problem.


This is not true. There was a case in a middle school or high school a year or so ago - I think it was in Colorado? It's not common, but it isn't like it's impossible. Stop treating people like they are stupid for recognizing that the possibility (however slim) exists.


Yes. And pigs fly occasionally too when they're going to farm competitions.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:17
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Anonymous
My only issue with this post is that you admit you stay in the stall until everyone else leaves. The line for the bathroom is long enough without you taking up a stall for longer than you need it because you're "scared." Scared of what? That someone will say you look like a dude? No woman is going to try to kick your ass for being in the bathroom. No woman is going to rape you in there. It's not the men's bathroom. Pull up your big girl panties and give up the stall for the next woman who needs it. Don't forget to flush.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:21
quote
Gaia
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:My only issue with this post is that you admit you stay in the stall until everyone else leaves. The line for the bathroom is long enough without you taking up a stall for longer than you need it because you're "scared." Scared of what? That someone will say you look like a dude? No woman is going to try to kick your ass for being in the bathroom. No woman is going to rape you in there. It's not the men's bathroom. Pull up your big girl panties and give up the stall for the next woman who needs it. Don't forget to flush.


If I know that there's a huge line waiting, of course I won't stay in the stall! But if when I go in there's only one other stall occupied and nobody else comes in? I wait for her to leave.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:22
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, but by forcing yourself in the women's restrooms you are saying your rights are more important. Because you will feel safe but we will not.


Not op, but how is OP making anyone unsafe?? It may be worth addressing that your "feelings" of safety are not rooted in reality, but actually "feelings" just made up in your head.


No, they're invented to justify hatred.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:25
quote
Gaia
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter that OP is presenting as a woman? Why does that give her access to the ladies' room? If I put on a dress and makeup, I can go to the ladies' room too? What if I don't? Why can't a man go to the ladies room unless he puts on makeup and a dress? Isn't that discrimination?

OP, are you legally a man or a woman?

Either it is okay for society to provide separate facilities for men and women to do their business or not. If that's okay, then a person should have to be legally a woman to use the ladies room, right?


My drivers license and birth certificate are both marked Female.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:25
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My only issue with this post is that you admit you stay in the stall until everyone else leaves. The line for the bathroom is long enough without you taking up a stall for longer than you need it because you're "scared." Scared of what? That someone will say you look like a dude? No woman is going to try to kick your ass for being in the bathroom. No woman is going to rape you in there. It's not the men's bathroom. Pull up your big girl panties and give up the stall for the next woman who needs it. Don't forget to flush.

Scared that narrow minded people point or scream or cause a scene, verbally confront. All those things are not pleasant. I agree with another poster, walk in there like you own it and belong there. Chances are people won't even give you a second glance. I'm amazed at people's lack of empathy
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:28
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Anonymous
Has anyone here ever gone into a bathroom wondering if it is safe-besides the gross stuff growing in there?
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:29
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Anonymous
As a women, should we put tampon machines in men's rooms?
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:41
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Anonymous
Ugh, OP. I'm so sorry this has to be so difficult for you to use the damn bathroom. I knew it was a problem but I never heard it discussed directly by a transwoman before. I hope that a lot of the states and dirty looks you get are actually in your imagination. I bet most people just think you are a woman even if not very feminine. Try to stand tall and confident and see if things are any different. You are welcome in the bathroom with me (and my kids) any time.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:46
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Yes, but by forcing yourself in the women's restrooms you are saying your rights are more important. Because you will feel safe but we will not.


Speak for yourself.
[Post New]05/26/2016 15:50
quote
Anonymous
Gaia wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My only issue with this post is that you admit you stay in the stall until everyone else leaves. The line for the bathroom is long enough without you taking up a stall for longer than you need it because you're "scared." Scared of what? That someone will say you look like a dude? No woman is going to try to kick your ass for being in the bathroom. No woman is going to rape you in there. It's not the men's bathroom. Pull up your big girl panties and give up the stall for the next woman who needs it. Don't forget to flush.


If I know that there's a huge line waiting, of course I won't stay in the stall! But if when I go in there's only one other stall occupied and nobody else comes in? I wait for her to leave.


Cis-gender woman, I do that sometimes too - if I've made a big, stinky poop.
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