How I, a transwoman, use the bathroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting that many UTI's maybe something else is wrong. Men/male parts generally do not get UTI's like women (in less you've done a complete transformation and not sure what that is involved).

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/understanding-urinary-tract-infections-treatment

Good call. Is this a troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting that many UTI's maybe something else is wrong. Men/male parts generally do not get UTI's like women (in less you've done a complete transformation and not sure what that is involved).

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/understanding-urinary-tract-infections-treatment

Hehe this. Men rarely get uti's. So for you to get frequent uti's is quite alarming.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry you must post this! If you ever get carded for using the restroom, please do what my friend did and hand them your grocery store club card and walk right in! Lol!

I find this whole discussion sad as transgender people are usually the victims of crime, not the other way around. Our society needs to work on real problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

+100

[Anonymous]

I have not read the entire thread, but here is the difference between a trans woman saying that she is afraid to use the men's room and a cis woman saying she is afraid to share a restroom with a trans woman:

If I say that I am afraid of Rottweilers because I have seen friends attacked and nearly killed by Rottweilers, then that is a valid fear.

If I say that I am afraid of bunnies because they own teeth, and that is not a valid fear.

Trans women are at pretty much the highest statistical risk of rape or violence from men. Telling them that they should go into an all male space is putting them into very real danger.

On the other hand, the statistics on trans women actually committing violent crimes against cis women are incredibly low. So telling cis women that they need to stop worrying about who is in the stall next to them and just take care of business is not putting them in actual danger. Your discomfort versus a trans woman's fear for her life are not equivalent, and therefore we do not have to respect both of those emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

+100

It became "in fashion" when transgender awareness and visibility increased, and when our society started paying more attention to transgender needs, struggles and issues and the fact that transgender people face disproportionate levels of discrimination and violence. The term "cisgender" has been around for over 20 years and labeling other people have been around for forever, so it's on you that you think labeling just started "now."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are getting that many UTI's maybe something else is wrong. Men/male parts generally do not get UTI's like women (in less you've done a complete transformation and not sure what that is involved).

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/understanding-urinary-tract-infections-treatment

Good call. Is this a troll?

When I first read the thread, I thought Troll, especially with the UTI statement.

I clicked on the person's account and they have one other thread about being transgender (from a year ago).

[Anonymous]

Who punches a "woman" for using the mens room. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

So the problem is that the trans woman's fear is backed up by actual statistics. She is actually in danger in a men's room. There are many documented cases of being attacked. And while yes there are documented cases of men attacking women in a women's room, there are no cases of a trans woman attacking women in a women's room.

It's actually really analogous to the vaccine debate. Group A is afraid of terrible illnesses reviving and killing their children and this fear is based on seeing it actually start to happen. And Group B is afraid of their children getting injured by vaccines which is ridiculously rare and the good done through immunity is saving many many many many more children from dying. Group A's fear is more legitimate because it is statistically more likely and ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Regardless of how passionately Group B feels, reality isn't backing them up. And while Group B is certainly entitled to their feelings, we don't necessarily need to base policy and actions based on what they think because they are in fact demonstrably wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

So the problem is that the trans woman's fear is backed up by actual statistics. She is actually in danger in a men's room. There are many documented cases of being attacked. And while yes there are documented cases of men attacking women in a women's room, there are no cases of a trans woman attacking women in a women's room.

It's actually really analogous to the vaccine debate. Group A is afraid of terrible illnesses reviving and killing their children and this fear is based on seeing it actually start to happen. And Group B is afraid of their children getting injured by vaccines which is ridiculously rare and the good done through immunity is saving many many many many more children from dying. Group A's fear is more legitimate because it is statistically more likely and ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Regardless of how passionately Group B feels, reality isn't backing them up. And while Group B is certainly entitled to their feelings, we don't necessarily need to base policy and actions based on what they think because they are in fact demonstrably wrong.

Amen! However, logic will never work with the anti-vaxx crowd or the transphobic crowd. They are hysterical nut cases who can see reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

So the problem is that the trans woman's fear is backed up by actual statistics. She is actually in danger in a men's room. There are many documented cases of being attacked. And while yes there are documented cases of men attacking women in a women's room, there are no cases of a trans woman attacking women in a women's room.

It's actually really analogous to the vaccine debate. Group A is afraid of terrible illnesses reviving and killing their children and this fear is based on seeing it actually start to happen. And Group B is afraid of their children getting injured by vaccines which is ridiculously rare and the good done through immunity is saving many many many many more children from dying. Group A's fear is more legitimate because it is statistically more likely and ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Regardless of how passionately Group B feels, reality isn't backing them up. And while Group B is certainly entitled to their feelings, we don't necessarily need to base policy and actions based on what they think because they are in fact demonstrably wrong.

Amen! However, logic will never work with the anti-vaxx crowd or the transphobic crowd. They are hysterical nut cases who can see reality.

...who CAN"T see reality.

[Anonymous]

It became "in fashion" when transgender awareness and visibility increased, and when our society started paying more attention to transgender needs, struggles and issues and the fact that transgender people face disproportionate levels of discrimination and violence. The term "cisgender" has been around for over 20 years and labeling other people have been around for forever, so it's on you that you think labeling just started "now.

I have never heard the term "Cis" and I doubt the majority of people have been using it for 20 years. I do not wish to be referred to as "CIS" gendered so if people have the right to ask people to call them what they want to be called then we have the right not to be called CIS.

Just end this fight right now and declare that what you all really want is UNISEX bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

Cis is not a real word. It is a made up word.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, one of my close friends is a transgender woman. While she was transitioning, I would scope out the bathroom for her - give the all clear and she would go in. I remember how terrifying the bathroom was for her. I never realized such a simple thing could bring her such shame and fear.

Know this - people are assholes.

Even as a cis gender woman people treat other women as assholes.

The next time you go to the bathroom, think I may be there, I damn will think you have just as much as a right as me to be there.

You go girl!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

Cis is not a real word. It is a made up word.

I could say most words are "made up" - as that is how language works.