How I, a transwoman, use the bathroom

[Anonymous]

OP help me understand - are you close to completing transition or still beginning phases? What kind of experiences have you had so far in women's bathrooms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but by forcing yourself in the women's restrooms you are saying your rights are more important. Because you will feel safe but we will not.

I don't know who the "we" is in PP's statement, but it surely does not include me. I feel perfectly safe with you in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I think everyone has to pee and should be able to do so. I like this WaPo article about how a unisex toilet room could work.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/better-design-could-solve-the-debate-about-gendered-bathrooms/2016/05/13/4b54b9ee-1853-11e6-aa55-670cabef46e0_story.html

[Anonymous]

The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

[Anonymous]

I have no issues with a trans woman in the ladies room. For those of you who feel unsafe, could you cite the statistics that demonstrate that trans women are attacking others in the bathroom?

I can't find the stats.

[Anonymous]

Gaia wrote:Good morning DCUM.

I am a woman who was born with a penis and raised as male. I am on HRT (hormone replacement therapy), present, and live as a woman. I do everyday activities like go to work and go grocery shopping. I encounter stares and whispers everywhere I go.

Sometimes I have to pee. I try to plan ahead by going before I leave in my safe home, but sometimes I have to venture into a public bathroom. My first response at needing to go is to always try and hold it; I actually get really frequent UTIs because of this. I am terrified every single time I have to go in public. I try to find a family/single bathroom, but a lot of places don't have them.

So I'll put my head down, hunch my shoulders and draw into myself as I open the door to the woman's bathroom. If there's a line, I close the door and find another one. If it's an emergency, I try and brave the line. When one becomes available, I make a beeline for the closest stall, do my business (while sitting down), and wait until I think the room is empty. It's only then that I venture out to wash my hands and leave.

I used to use the men's restroom early in my transition. I got punched, verbally abused, and had a very large and intimidating man threaten to rape me. I am in fear for my life. I am in fear that some man will say or do something that will ruin my day, my week, my life.

You have rights to feel safe when you go to the bathroom. Why do I not have those rights either?

Please be respectful of my experiences and my life as you respond. Thank you.

OP, rather than drawing attention to yourself, why not just walk in with confidence and do your thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but by forcing yourself in the women's restrooms you are saying your rights are more important. Because you will feel safe but we will not.

I don't know who the "we" is in PP's statement, but it surely does not include me. I feel perfectly safe with you in the bathroom.

+1. I don't care about anyone using my bathrooms. My previous employer had one coed bathroom with stalls and we all thought that was just fine. The stalls were less revealing than normal cheap ass stalls though.

[Anonymous]

I don't know who the "we" is in PP's statement, but it surely does not include me. I feel perfectly safe with you in the bathroom.
[Report Post]

I'm not speaking for everyone but I know I am not alone. You aren't speaking for me, either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

You are the first person to mention the word "transphobic" in this thread, so no, no one is calling you that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry about your experience but it sounds like you think that your rights trump others. Why is that ok?

I don't understand your response. She's not saying her rights is more important than yours. How do you feel unsafe with a transgender in your bathroom when obviously the discomfort is on her side not yours?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

These fears are completely unfounded. You can get attacked by a big woman too. Are you going to ban buff or tall women from using the bathroom? Now a transgender in a man's bathroom, fear is real, violence is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

These fears are completely unfounded. You can get attacked by a big woman too. Are you going to ban buff or tall women from using the bathroom? Now a transgender in a man's bathroom, fear is real, violence is real.

Precisely. Violence against trans women is off the charts, they are in very real danger if they are forced to use the mens room. There have been no documented cases of trans women attacking cis women in bathrooms. OP explained in her post that she herself has been on the receiving end of this violence. The PPs fear is unfounded, OPs is very much not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

These fears are completely unfounded. You can get attacked by a big woman too. Are you going to ban buff or tall women from using the bathroom? Now a transgender in a man's bathroom, fear is real, violence is real.

Precisely. Violence against trans women is off the charts, they are in very real danger if they are forced to use the mens room. There have been no documented cases of trans women attacking cis women in bathrooms. OP explained in her post that she herself has been on the receiving end of this violence. The PPs fear is unfounded, OPs is very much not.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know who the "we" is in PP's statement, but it surely does not include me. I feel perfectly safe with you in the bathroom.
[Report Post]

I'm not speaking for everyone but I know I am not alone. You aren't speaking for me, either

NP here. What specifically makes you feel unsafe, PP? I am not trying to be snarky here, but I don't understand what the fear is in this situation. That you'll be attacked? That the transwoman will spy on you in the stall? What is it exactly?

[Anonymous]

Why have men and women bathrooms in the first place? I don't have to have "stats" to prove anything. Unless he/she is fully transitioned he is still a man and until they make all restrooms unisex there are some women/girls not comfortable going to the bathroom with a biological man. A tall women/lesbian can not rape me last time I checked