How I, a transwoman, use the bathroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I don't care where you want to relieve yourself or how you came to be whatever you are today. I do care about my rights, I only wish you did too

Just go to the restroom and do your business, drama queen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All Ladies rooms have stalls and if you dress like a woman how does anyone know you aren't a woman unless you pull up your dress or unzip your slacks, pull out your urinating equipment and try to use the sink as a urinal.

I've never seen a woman with an Adam's apple.

There is something SCARVES and they have been around forever. But one and put it around your neck.

I can just see Fox News coming up with some checklist for figuring out if someone is transgender.

[Anonymous]

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only issue with this post is that you admit you stay in the stall until everyone else leaves. The line for the bathroom is long enough without you taking up a stall for longer than you need it because you're "scared." Scared of what? That someone will say you look like a dude? No woman is going to try to kick your ass for being in the bathroom. No woman is going to rape you in there. It's not the men's bathroom. Pull up your big girl panties and give up the stall for the next woman who needs it. Don't forget to flush.

If I know that there's a huge line waiting, of course I won't stay in the stall! But if when I go in there's only one other stall occupied and nobody else comes in? I wait for her to leave.

You are looking for a reaction and drama and attention. Go in, do your business and get out. Be considerate if there is a line... some of us really need to go or have kids where if they don't go as they cannot tell us till the last minute will have an accident. I couldn't care less what you do. If you choose to get out of line, great, one less person to wait behind. Women's bathrooms often have lines. In stalls, no one is looking at your private parts and this is more about your emotional issues than anything else. All I want to do is pee, have my kids pee and get out. Most bathrooms are loud and nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

Did you miss the part where she was actually assaulted? We aren't talking "feelings" here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

Did you miss the part where she was actually assaulted? We aren't talking "feelings" here.

She was assaulted in the men's room, not the woman's room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

Did you miss the part where she was actually assaulted? We aren't talking "feelings" here.

She was assaulted in the men's room, not the woman's room.

Exactly. I'm glad you understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only issue with this post is that you admit you stay in the stall until everyone else leaves. The line for the bathroom is long enough without you taking up a stall for longer than you need it because you're "scared." Scared of what? That someone will say you look like a dude? No woman is going to try to kick your ass for being in the bathroom. No woman is going to rape you in there. It's not the men's bathroom. Pull up your big girl panties and give up the stall for the next woman who needs it. Don't forget to flush.

If I know that there's a huge line waiting, of course I won't stay in the stall! But if when I go in there's only one other stall occupied and nobody else comes in? I wait for her to leave.

You are looking for a reaction and drama and attention. Go in, do your business and get out. Be considerate if there is a line... some of us really need to go or have kids where if they don't go as they cannot tell us till the last minute will have an accident. I couldn't care less what you do. If you choose to get out of line, great, one less person to wait behind. Women's bathrooms often have lines. In stalls, no one is looking at your private parts and this is more about your emotional issues than anything else. All I want to do is pee, have my kids pee and get out. Most bathrooms are loud and nasty.

It sounds to me like she's trying to AVOID "a reaction and drama and attention." And you must have missed where she said she doesn't wait if there's a line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My only issue with this post is that you admit you stay in the stall until everyone else leaves. The line for the bathroom is long enough without you taking up a stall for longer than you need it because you're "scared." Scared of what? That someone will say you look like a dude? No woman is going to try to kick your ass for being in the bathroom. No woman is going to rape you in there. It's not the men's bathroom. Pull up your big girl panties and give up the stall for the next woman who needs it. Don't forget to flush.

If I know that there's a huge line waiting, of course I won't stay in the stall! But if when I go in there's only one other stall occupied and nobody else comes in? I wait for her to leave.

You are looking for a reaction and drama and attention. Go in, do your business and get out. Be considerate if there is a line... some of us really need to go or have kids where if they don't go as they cannot tell us till the last minute will have an accident. I couldn't care less what you do. If you choose to get out of line, great, one less person to wait behind. Women's bathrooms often have lines. In stalls, no one is looking at your private parts and this is more about your emotional issues than anything else. All I want to do is pee, have my kids pee and get out. Most bathrooms are loud and nasty.

It sounds to me like she's trying to AVOID "a reaction and drama and attention." And you must have missed where she said she doesn't wait if there's a line.

By leaving you are drawing more attention... and by posting here she is drawing attention. Just go pee and poop and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Gaia wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry about your experience but it sounds like you think that your rights trump others. Why is that ok?

I don't think my rights are more important. I think my rights are equally as important.

I feel sorry for your plight, i really do. But, at the same time, im not comfortable with my young daughter in the bathroom unaccompanied by me if there might be a man in there, or transwoman. Thats the quandry. Im not suggesting any right answer, but im glad you posted your story. Gets us thinking.

[Anonymous]

The men's room is more dangerous in general, for everyone. I'm sick of this discussion of trans people focusing only on people like the OP -- transwomen. Does anyone think transMEN are less likely to be assaulted in the men's room than the in the women's room??? No. Everyone is safer in the ladies' room, except the more people that are welcomed in, the less safe the real ladies are in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

I think the question is why do YOU feel unsafe? Seriously what do you think is going to happen? Hate to break it to you but regular men, dressed like men have victimized women in women's restrooms for years. Like anything you need to be award of your surrounding.

Not pp, but I think this is the point to those who are uncomfortable with this. How are they supposed to know that this is a harmless transgender OP vs. a guy up to no good who decided to go lurk in the women's room? According to the transgender lobby, no one can be asked to leave for any reason short of actually committing a crime. All the man has to do is claim that they identify as a woman. Because, after all, who are we to judge who qualifies as a "woman?" I do find it quite ironic that those of you who are quickest to support the feelings of a man who wants to live as a woman are so eager to dismiss a woman's feelings of fear because they're "all in her head."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

I think the question is why do YOU feel unsafe? Seriously what do you think is going to happen? Hate to break it to you but regular men, dressed like men have victimized women in women's restrooms for years. Like anything you need to be award of your surrounding.

Not pp, but I think this is the point to those who are uncomfortable with this. How are they supposed to know that this is a harmless transgender OP vs. a guy up to no good who decided to go lurk in the women's room? According to the transgender lobby, no one can be asked to leave for any reason short of actually committing a crime. All the man has to do is claim that they identify as a woman. Because, after all, who are we to judge who qualifies as a "woman?" I do find it quite ironic that those of you who are quickest to support the feelings of a man who wants to live as a woman are so eager to dismiss a woman's feelings of fear because they're "all in her head."

+100. This whole trans movement has a weird anti-feminist streak. Apparently the more important kinds of women are men-who-feel-like-women. Men win again! Great!

[Anonymous]

Gaia wrote:Good morning DCUM.

I am a woman who was born with a penis and raised as male. I am on HRT (hormone replacement therapy), present, and live as a woman. I do everyday activities like go to work and go grocery shopping. I encounter stares and whispers everywhere I go.

Sometimes I have to pee. I try to plan ahead by going before I leave in my safe home, but sometimes I have to venture into a public bathroom. My first response at needing to go is to always try and hold it; I actually get really frequent UTIs because of this. I am terrified every single time I have to go in public. I try to find a family/single bathroom, but a lot of places don't have them.

So I'll put my head down, hunch my shoulders and draw into myself as I open the door to the woman's bathroom. If there's a line, I close the door and find another one. If it's an emergency, I try and brave the line. When one becomes available, I make a beeline for the closest stall, do my business (while sitting down), and wait until I think the room is empty. It's only then that I venture out to wash my hands and leave.

I used to use the men's restroom early in my transition. I got punched, verbally abused, and had a very large and intimidating man threaten to rape me. I am in fear for my life. I am in fear that some man will say or do something that will ruin my day, my week, my life.

You have rights to feel safe when you go to the bathroom. Why do I not have those rights either?

Please be respectful of my experiences and my life as you respond. Thank you.

OP,

You were born a male. You have (had?) a penis. Whether you feel like one is another story. But if you're undergoing a transformation and you look like a man, I'll definitely look twice if you're in the women's room.

It is what it is. sorry - But however you feel inside will be masked by what you look like. So you can either deal with it and move on or cripple yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

I think the question is why do YOU feel unsafe? Seriously what do you think is going to happen? Hate to break it to you but regular men, dressed like men have victimized women in women's restrooms for years. Like anything you need to be award of your surrounding.

Not pp, but I think this is the point to those who are uncomfortable with this. How are they supposed to know that this is a harmless transgender OP vs. a guy up to no good who decided to go lurk in the women's room? According to the transgender lobby, no one can be asked to leave for any reason short of actually committing a crime. All the man has to do is claim that they identify as a woman. Because, after all, who are we to judge who qualifies as a "woman?" I do find it quite ironic that those of you who are quickest to support the feelings of a man who wants to live as a woman are so eager to dismiss a woman's feelings of fear because they're "all in her head."

+100. This whole trans movement has a weird anti-feminist streak. Apparently the more important kinds of women are men-who-feel-like-women. Men win again! Great!

lol - never thought of it that way