How I, a transwoman, use the bathroom

[Anonymous]

well, Maryland passed the the Fairness for All Marylanders Act in 2014 addressing your right to use the bathroom of the gender you identify with. Criminals and bigots are everywhere but, I would live/work somewhere that has laws which protect you, states like that attract a better class of people too. I've been assaulted, beaten and rapped just because I am a woman and, the worst thing to do is live your life as a victim, imho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

I think the question is why do YOU feel unsafe? Seriously what do you think is going to happen? Hate to break it to you but regular men, dressed like men have victimized women in women's restrooms for years. Like anything you need to be award of your surrounding.

[Anonymous]

To people are who are opposed to transgender using the bathroom, do you realize what you are afraid of is ludicrous? Or do you know it's ludicrous and are really just bigoted and are hiding under the excuse "I'm afraid for my safety". The absolute last thing a transgendered person would think of doing, in an already awkward situation, is performing violence ( a feeling of power and making others feels helpless).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op says she feels unsafe and everyone says welcome to the Ladies room! I say I don't feel safe and people say "Get over it or you are being transphobic"

I see the point that Op feels unsafe in the male restroom so why is it so difficult to see that other women may feel unsafe if a biological male is using the women's restrooms? Why not go for it and be unisex? Btw, I hate the fact that now we all have to be labeled. Since when did the term CIS come into fashion? I hate it!

In this situation, the actually vulnerable person is OP. Your fears are based on stereotypes and hysteria. Not saying that you don't actually feel the fear, but policy and norms shouldn't be based around your fear. That's why you are being pilloried, while OP is being welcomed.

And while we're on that: welcome to the women's room, OP. And sorry so many people pee on the seat and don't clean it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have men and women bathrooms in the first place? I don't have to have "stats" to prove anything. Unless he/she is fully transitioned he is still a man and until they make all restrooms unisex there are some women/girls not comfortable going to the bathroom with a biological man. A tall women/lesbian can not rape me last time I checked

You do not need to have a penis to rape a person... And yes, other women can seriously beat up women. I went to a rough high school and the girl on girl violence was just as bad as what the guys were doing to each other. We couldn't have stall doors in high school for safety reasons (and drug reasons).

[Anonymous]

If you go in the men's, you just go in a stall for privacy. If you go in a woman's, you also go in a stall. No one is looking at your privates. I don't get all the drama. As a woman, I've used the men's on occasion if I was desperate, and it was never an issue. The concern is if you look like a man, it makes women uncomfortable as biologically you are a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have men and women bathrooms in the first place? I don't have to have "stats" to prove anything. Unless he/she is fully transitioned he is still a man and until they make all restrooms unisex there are some women/girls not comfortable going to the bathroom with a biological man. A tall women/lesbian can not rape me last time I checked

A woman can certainly sexually or physically assault or rob another woman. Penetration is only one of many violations you can perform on another human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have men and women bathrooms in the first place? I don't have to have "stats" to prove anything. Unless he/she is fully transitioned he is still a man and until they make all restrooms unisex there are some women/girls not comfortable going to the bathroom with a biological man. A tall women/lesbian can not rape me last time I checked

The chances you will be sexually assaulted while in the bathroom are slim to none.

The chances that the presenting woman (who may or may not have a penis) will be physically harmed - punched, kicked, spit on, or even raped - while she is using the men's bathroom is probably a 1 in 3 chance.

Do you really not recognize this disparity??

[Anonymous]

OP - I am sorry you are hearing these negative comments. I welcome you in the bathroom, there can be kindness and compassion in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why have men and women bathrooms in the first place? I don't have to have "stats" to prove anything. Unless he/she is fully transitioned he is still a man and until they make all restrooms unisex there are some women/girls not comfortable going to the bathroom with a biological man. A tall women/lesbian can not rape me last time I checked

And a sign on the door is not going to protect you from being raped. Don't go in any sketchy bathrooms where you are isolated and might be raped. Learn to protect yourself in all kinds of situations, not just bathrooms. You sound like you are either using some very questionable public restrooms or you are lulled into a false sense of security by signage that doesn't actually have protective power.

Transwomen are not rapists.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the "I feel unsafe" issue. You go to the movies and the grocery store with transwomen too. Do you feel unsafe in those situations? Why is the bathroom different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry that happens to you. You can use the women's room with me any day.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

To people are who are opposed to transgender using the bathroom, do you realize what you are afraid of is ludicrous? Or do you know it's ludicrous and are really just bigoted and are hiding under the excuse "I'm afraid for my safety". The absolute last thing a transgendered person would think of doing, in an already awkward situation, is performing violence ( a feeling of power and making others feels helpless).


Again so if the OP feels one way than everyone supports her but if I feel differently than my feelings/opinions are "ludicrous" Got it. No use explaining myself anymore.

[Anonymous]

Gaia wrote:Good morning DCUM.

I am a woman who was born with a penis and raised as male. I am on HRT (hormone replacement therapy), present, and live as a woman. I do everyday activities like go to work and go grocery shopping. I encounter stares and whispers everywhere I go.

Sometimes I have to pee. I try to plan ahead by going before I leave in my safe home, but sometimes I have to venture into a public bathroom. My first response at needing to go is to always try and hold it; I actually get really frequent UTIs because of this. I am terrified every single time I have to go in public. I try to find a family/single bathroom, but a lot of places don't have them.

So I'll put my head down, hunch my shoulders and draw into myself as I open the door to the woman's bathroom. If there's a line, I close the door and find another one. If it's an emergency, I try and brave the line. When one becomes available, I make a beeline for the closest stall, do my business (while sitting down), and wait until I think the room is empty. It's only then that I venture out to wash my hands and leave.

I used to use the men's restroom early in my transition. I got punched, verbally abused, and had a very large and intimidating man threaten to rape me. I am in fear for my life. I am in fear that some man will say or do something that will ruin my day, my week, my life.

You have rights to feel safe when you go to the bathroom. Why do I not have those rights either?

Please be respectful of my experiences and my life as you respond. Thank you.

No. You must sail in as if you belong there. Go in the stall, do your business and come out. Don't wait on people to leave to wash your hands.

You are drawing attention to yourself by trying to not draw attention to yourself. Women just go into the bathroom - they don't gird their loins and prepare for battle. If someone asks what you are doing in there, you answer truthfully - You need to pee. So pee, wash your hands and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To people are who are opposed to transgender using the bathroom, do you realize what you are afraid of is ludicrous? Or do you know it's ludicrous and are really just bigoted and are hiding under the excuse "I'm afraid for my safety". The absolute last thing a transgendered person would think of doing, in an already awkward situation, is performing violence ( a feeling of power and making others feels helpless).


Again so if the OP feels one way than everyone supports her but if I feel differently than my feelings/opinions are "ludicrous" Got it. No use explaining myself anymore.

But you aren't explaining yourself at all, only that you are afraid of being raped. People are trying to figure out what you are talking about.