How I, a transwoman, use the bathroom
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Gaia
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Good morning DCUM.
I am a woman who was born with a penis and raised as male. I am on HRT (hormone replacement therapy), present, and live as a woman. I do everyday activities like go to work and go grocery shopping. I encounter stares and whispers everywhere I go. Sometimes I have to pee. I try to plan ahead by going before I leave in my safe home, but sometimes I have to venture into a public bathroom. My first response at needing to go is to always try and hold it; I actually get really frequent UTIs because of this. I am terrified every single time I have to go in public. I try to find a family/single bathroom, but a lot of places don't have them. So I'll put my head down, hunch my shoulders and draw into myself as I open the door to the woman's bathroom. If there's a line, I close the door and find another one. If it's an emergency, I try and brave the line. When one becomes available, I make a beeline for the closest stall, do my business (while sitting down), and wait until I think the room is empty. It's only then that I venture out to wash my hands and leave. I used to use the men's restroom early in my transition. I got punched, verbally abused, and had a very large and intimidating man threaten to rape me. I am in fear for my life. I am in fear that some man will say or do something that will ruin my day, my week, my life. You have rights to feel safe when you go to the bathroom. Why do I not have those rights either? Please be respectful of my experiences and my life as you respond. Thank you. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry about your experience but it sounds like you think that your rights trump others. Why is that ok? |
Gaia
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I don't think my rights are more important. I think my rights are equally as important. |
Anonymous
Where did OP say her rights trump those of others? |
Anonymous
| If you're dressed like a woman and look like a woman I don't see how anyone even looks differently at you? Lots of women look manly. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry that happens to you. You can use the women's room with me any day. |
Anonymous
I don't understand your response. She's not saying her rights is more important than yours. How do you feel unsafe with a transgender in your bathroom when obviously the discomfort is on her side not yours? |
Anonymous
| Yes, but by forcing yourself in the women's restrooms you are saying your rights are more important. Because you will feel safe but we will not. |
Anonymous
WTF? |
Anonymous
+1 How is OP infringing on the rights of others to use a public bathroom? They're not preventing anyone from doing their business. They're not doing anything harmful to others. What "right" is being infringed upon? |
Anonymous
| Welcome to the ladies room! |
Anonymous
There are no cases of trans women attacking cis women in bathrooms. Your irrational fear of trans people just trying to use the toilet is not OPs problem. |
Anonymous
Not op, but how is OP making anyone unsafe?? It may be worth addressing that your "feelings" of safety are not rooted in reality, but actually "feelings" just made up in your head. |
Anonymous
Why would you not feel safe?!?! You're peeing in a GD stall! |
Anonymous
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I'm a CIS woman and I support your right to use the ladies room.
What can someone like me do in the future to make your life easier if I see you in a ladies room, besides smile and seem welcoming? If there is a line, should I offer you my place in it if I'm in front of you, or would it be better not to draw attention. And if there isn't really a line, would you like some friendly conversation about the weather, or not, or depends on the day? Thanks for talking about this here and letting us ask questions! |