I'm sick with a chest infection and DH told me that "I'm not living up to my obligations"

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[Post New]05/28/2015 20:41
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Anonymous
Please don't have kids with this man. He sounds like a royal douchebag.
[Post New]05/28/2015 20:42
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He's a dick. Stop catering to him. How does he live up to his obligations?


He pays about 70% of the bills. I pay the rest and do all the cleaning, cooking and shopping. This was our agreement and I am 100% fine with it (when I'm healthy). No kids.


That is crazy. What you each earn is irrelevant. You both take care of the house evenly - unless one of you works much less hours than the other.

I hate to think how this will go when/if you have kids.

I agree. I have a friend in this same kind of arrangement and I think it's beyond fucked up.
[Post New]05/28/2015 20:43
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why do women let men behave like spoiled children?

I'd've done the same or worse, OP. Hope you feel better, and that he snaps out of it and starts pulling his weight. How does he figure that you work full time and do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping for his snacks is somehow your obligation? What the hell does he bring to the table?


Per OP, he brings in 70%. He probably feels that since he makes more, she should have to do more at home.

OP - if you don't have kids I would seriously consider divorcing this asshole. If you do have kids, I think you guys need counseling. He's got some pent up issues. Maybe he feels bitter about something.
[Post New]05/28/2015 20:47
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Anonymous
I would like him to go fuck himself also.

I know this is weird, but I want to invite you to come stay at my house, in our guest room. My kids will make you pictures and crossword puzzles and lend you their coloring books and games to entertain yourself. I'll give you soup and cough medicine.

You need SLEEEEEEEEP. Sleep heals. You are EXHAUSTED from coughing. Please take care of yourself so this doesn't turn into pneumonia.
[Post New]05/28/2015 20:53
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Anonymous

Can you please show him this thread, OP?

It does not matter one little bit who earns the money. No one should be a slave to the other, and no one should be criticized when they're as sick as OP.

Tell him you want a sincere apology.
Tell him you don't ever want to hear a comment like that again.
And don't lift a finger for him until he apologizes to you satisfaction. How about he brings you breakfast in bed, does the laundry and whatever else you couldn't do around the house?

Be warned, OP: this kind of arrangement is suicide before kids. When kids come, the majority of their care falls on the woman, who already happens to be doing more than her share of the work. And then you're really stuck because no one likes to drag kids through a divorce.
So you better change the agreement ASAP! I hope this incident is a wake-up call.
[Post New]05/28/2015 20:55
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Anonymous
He pays about 70% of the bills. I pay the rest and do all the cleaning, cooking and shopping. This was our agreement and I am 100% fine with it (when I'm healthy). No kids.


That is crazy. What you each earn is irrelevant. You both take care of the house evenly - unless one of you works much less hours than the other.

I hate to think how this will go when/if you have kids.


Totally fucked up. I've always made significantly more than DH but that has NEVER factored into our housekeeping arrangements. It's about who has time. When one of us is sick, that person needs to rest up.

Your husband is a major fucking douchebag. If you think things suck now, it will be 10x worse after a kid. Don't have kids with this guy,
[Post New]05/28/2015 20:56
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Anonymous
OP ignoring you DH for a moment, since i dont think he is worthy of a comment....
You should not be going to work or cooking when you have bronchitis/severe cough. I cannot only imagine how dreadful that must be for you, but given that it is contagious, arent you putting your DH and coworkers at risk?
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:00
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Anonymous
He's an ass.

Don't have kids with him.

If I were in your shoes, I'd be seriously reconsidering the marriage. He doesn't seem to get the "in sickness and in health" part, I couldn't imagine facing old age with such a person.
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:09
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Cogiteur
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:I would like him to go fuck himself also.

I know this is weird, but I want to invite you to come stay at my house, in our guest room. My kids will make you pictures and crossword puzzles and lend you their coloring books and games to entertain yourself. I'll give you soup and cough medicine.

You need SLEEEEEEEEP. Sleep heals. You are EXHAUSTED from coughing. Please take care of yourself so this doesn't turn into pneumonia.


+1

And once you're all better, please take care of yourself.
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:09
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Anonymous
OP, he pays 20% more of the bills than you do. Even going with your logic, you should only be doing 70% of the chores. However, as PPs said, the underlying idea is crazy.

FWIW, some men act like jerks when their wives are sick. They either minimize the illness, come up with competing maladies to "out-sick" the wife, or find some other way to act out. But it's not ok. And here your husband grudges you a birthday celebration? And instead of asking you how he can lighten your load and help take care of you, he throws hissy fits about leftovers and energy bars? Not cool.

Feel better, OP. And then think about whether you can do better for a husband than what you've currently got.
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:14
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Anonymous
Your husband is a douchebag prick. Sorry to tell you that. How much you make should have NOTHING to do with housework. Especially when you are this sick. His attitude and temper tantrum is repulsive. I wish he could read this thread. Do not have kids with this man until issues are seriously addressed and resolved because it will only get worse. I'm so glad you threw the food out and told him to go fuck himself. What a dick!
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:14
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Anonymous
What the fuck is wrong with this person, your DH?

I mean seriously... what the actual fuck?

I am dumbfounded that there actual exists such an evil little asshole out there and he somehow managed to get married.
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:15
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Anonymous
When your H is sick (I purposely left out the D part as he is not a "dear"), does he act like a big baby? I bet he does.
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:16
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Anonymous
OP, have you been to a doctor? You should not be that sick all week without seeing a doctor. He or she can write you a prescription for cough syrup with codeine to help you sleep.

I have a friend whose bronchitis turned to pneumonia that got so bad, the doctors told his wife to call the family in to come say goodbye. He was 38 when this happened. He recovered, and everything is OK now, but OP, you can get really sick if you push too hard. See a doctor, call out sick, order a pizza if you feel like you need to feed your DH, and go to bed.
[Post New]05/28/2015 21:16
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Anonymous
OP - Did he have a SAHM?
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