I'm sick with a chest infection and DH told me that "I'm not living up to my obligations"

[Anonymous]

I've been sick with severe bronchitis all week. I have a horrid cough, high fever and my body hurts from all the coughing. I haven't slept more than 2-3 hours over the last few nights because of the coughing.
Even though I've been sick, I've continued working full-time, I've cooked every night this week and I've kept up with housework for the most part.
The laundry (clean) has piled up and I left dishes in the sink last night after I cooked.
I got home from work, caught a 20 minute nap and decided to get dinner started. DH asked what we were having. I told him we would have last night's main course along with 2 freshly cooked sides. He got all huffy and told me that he didn't want it two nights in a row.
I told him that I refused to waste all that food and that that is what I would make. He reluctantly accepted it.
As I'm cooking, he says "did you get a chance to go to the store to pick up my energy bars?"
I told him that I couldn't today and he'd have to wait until this weekend when I do grocery shopping. He told me that "I'm not living up to my obligations." He then told me that "you sure have time to go out and party with your friends though." He was referring to my birthday party last week. My sister flew in from the west coast and she and 10 of my girlfriends took me out for dinner and drinks.
This was pre-illness. I go out maybe 1-2 times per month for dinner with my friends. I hardly call that partying.
I turned off the burners, threw all the food in the trash and told him to go fuck himself.
I am BEYOND pissed. Do I not deserve a little compassion?
I'm so mad at him.

[Anonymous]

He's a dick. Stop catering to him. How does he live up to his obligations?

[Anonymous]

I have to add, I'm usually not this dramatic, but I really, really don't feel well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a dick. Stop catering to him. How does he live up to his obligations?

He pays about 70% of the bills. I pay the rest and do all the cleaning, cooking and shopping. This was our agreement and I am 100% fine with it (when I'm healthy). No kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you are the one to buy his energy bars? If my DH wanted something and neither of us had time to shop that day, he'd pop down to the shop right then while I cooked dinner. I think you're doing too much in this relationship, illness or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a dick. Stop catering to him. How does he live up to his obligations?

He pays about 70% of the bills. I pay the rest and do all the cleaning, cooking and shopping. This was our agreement and I am 100% fine with it (when I'm healthy). No kids.

That is crazy. What you each earn is irrelevant. You both take care of the house evenly - unless one of you works much less hours than the other.

I hate to think how this will go when/if you have kids.

[Anonymous]

Why do women let men behave like spoiled children?

I'd've done the same or worse, OP. Hope you feel better, and that he snaps out of it and starts pulling his weight. How does he figure that you work full time and do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping for his snacks is somehow your obligation? What the hell does he bring to the table?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a dick. Stop catering to him. How does he live up to his obligations?

He pays about 70% of the bills. I pay the rest and do all the cleaning, cooking and shopping. This was our agreement and I am 100% fine with it (when I'm healthy). No kids.

That is crazy. What you each earn is irrelevant. You both take care of the house evenly - unless one of you works much less hours than the other.

I hate to think how this will go when/if you have kids.

+1000. Counseling, stat. I can't believe you accepted this situation. The fact that he earns more is irrelevant and it's insane to think that somehow he deserves to be waited on because he earns more than you do.

[Anonymous]

I hope you feel better soon too. I had bronchitis over the last few weeks and it's horrible. Especially at night!

Your husband is behaving like a complete ass. And for that I am sorry too. You will get over the bronchitis ... Not so sure about him tho.

[Anonymous]

Do not have kids with him unless things change dramatically (I really don't think they will). He is showing you who he is. Believe him.

My ex used to tell me I faked it every time I got sick. Told me I should take classes to better myself while on maternity leave since I had all the free time. I think that one of the worst character flaws is when a person kicks you while you are down. He is an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a dick. Stop catering to him. How does he live up to his obligations?

He pays about 70% of the bills. I pay the rest and do all the cleaning, cooking and shopping. This was our agreement and I am 100% fine with it (when I'm healthy). No kids.

That is crazy. What you each earn is irrelevant. You both take care of the house evenly - unless one of you works much less hours than the other.

I hate to think how this will go when/if you have kids.

+1000. Counseling, stat. I can't believe you accepted this situation. The fact that he earns more is irrelevant and it's insane to think that somehow he deserves to be waited on because he earns more than you do.

How did you even come up with the figure of 70% (for bills)? Seems so bizarre. How long have you been married? I really suggest you stop counting the contributions of each other now. A marriage is not about those sorts of "obligations"!!

[Anonymous]

He pays 70% of the bills??? What kind of messed up shit statement is that??? You BOTH put your pay checks into the family pot and pay the bills out of it. It doesn't matter how much each person contributed because YOURE A FAMILY.

These threads just disgust me. Your husband is a dick.But I'm more disgusted with a woman that allows this behavior to continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been sick with severe bronchitis all week. I have a horrid cough, high fever and my body hurts from all the coughing. I haven't slept more than 2-3 hours over the last few nights because of the coughing.
Even though I've been sick, I've continued working full-time, I've cooked every night this week and I've kept up with housework for the most part.
The laundry (clean) has piled up and I left dishes in the sink last night after I cooked.
I got home from work, caught a 20 minute nap and decided to get dinner started. DH asked what we were having. I told him we would have last night's main course along with 2 freshly cooked sides. He got all huffy and told me that he didn't want it two nights in a row.
I told him that I refused to waste all that food and that that is what I would make. He reluctantly accepted it.
As I'm cooking, he says "did you get a chance to go to the store to pick up my energy bars?"
I told him that I couldn't today and he'd have to wait until this weekend when I do grocery shopping. He told me that "I'm not living up to my obligations." He then told me that "you sure have time to go out and party with your friends though." He was referring to my birthday party last week. My sister flew in from the west coast and she and 10 of my girlfriends took me out for dinner and drinks.
This was pre-illness. I go out maybe 1-2 times per month for dinner with my friends. I hardly call that partying.
I turned off the burners, threw all the food in the trash and told him to go fuck himself.
I am BEYOND pissed. Do I not deserve a little compassion?
I'm so mad at him.

I think that's an appropriate reaction. If I was sick and didn't have kids I wouldn't be doing any dinner or laundry. Grown men can buy their own damn energy bars and make dinner when their wife is sick.

[Anonymous]

He can make his own damn dinner.

Even when you're healthy, why do you put up with this?

[Anonymous]

I can't believe he used you having a bday party with your sis who flew in from a far distance against you.

I am glad you threw out all the food last night, that would have woke me up in his shoes. It would have took him ten minutes to get energy bars from the store, no reason for you to get them. If someone wants something bad enough, they will get it themselves.