I'm sick with a chest infection and DH told me that "I'm not living up to my obligations"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's naive to dismiss the influence of culture. Of course a spoiled upbringing or someone having his own issues affects how he acts, but if there are certain expectations and gender rules in the culture, it makes it all that much worse.

During the long years I was with him (he was Asian), I spent a lot of time within his community, and I saw couple after couple locked in this "normalized" dysfunction where men did whatever they wanted, no matter what harm it did to their wives and kids, and women blamed themselves and each other and totally excused and enabled the men.

There are always exceptions. Glad your Saudi Arab husband is one. Just don't kid yourself about cultural influences.

+1 cultural differences matter (in good and bad), as much as family culture. Someone can react to it and take the opposite stance but even then it still defines him/her (ie being a certain type of father because your dad was a type you don't want to repeat)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a dick, but my husband is the exact same way, and we have 2 kids. Sorry OP.

Why did you marry him then do you think?

If you have daughters they will also probably go out and marry a dick too...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd let him know that "in sickness and in health" didn't refer to the wife making dinner for the husband.

He thought it was in dickness and in health

Seriously though are either of you from another culture?

[Anonymous]

Op, you should figure out how much it would cost to hire someone to do the cooking, cleaning and shopping that you do. Does that equal 20% of the bills? (I'm thinking no).

[Anonymous]

Yes, girl yes!! You deserve a fucking standing ovation! As soon as I got to the food part of your story I had the biggest smile on my face. I would have done the same thing