I'm sick with a chest infection and DH told me that "I'm not living up to my obligations"

[Anonymous]

Is this uncharacteristic? Is he a jerk about other things? My spouse is a jerk when I'm sick (I was recovering from a c/s and breastfeeding and wanted some gingerale. Spouse sat in the car and sulked while I bought it and then said "I hope you don't plan to have soda in the house all the time now that we have a baby." What a jerk!) But, not really a jerk at other times-I think it was just an anxiety thing. I would see how he responds to you getting mad. Hopefully he'll see that he was wrong and apologize. And then when you are feeling better, give him very specific instructions about how you want to be treated when sick.

[Anonymous]

He's a dick, but my husband is the exact same way, and we have 2 kids. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a dick. Stop catering to him. How does he live up to his obligations?

He pays about 70% of the bills. I pay the rest and do all the cleaning, cooking and shopping. This was our agreement and I am 100% fine with it (when I'm healthy). No kids.

That is crazy. What you each earn is irrelevant. You both take care of the house evenly - unless one of you works much less hours than the other.

I hate to think how this will go when/if you have kids.

+1billion. If you each work the same hours, you do the same housework. Period, full stop.

[Anonymous]

OP, is there an update?

[Anonymous]

Your DH is a shitbag and doesn't deserve you. You're cooking every night when you have bronchitis? He can either suck it up and eat or tell you not to worry about it, go to bed, and he'll go pick up something and his energy bars.

I do appreciate posts like this because it makes me seriously thankful and appreciative of my DH. We've been going through a little hiccup lately, but he would NEVER behave like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the fuck is wrong with this person, your DH?

I mean seriously... what the actual fuck?

I am dumbfounded that there actual exists such an evil little asshole out there and he somehow managed to get married.

x2

+1

[Anonymous]

He sounds like a jerk. Who does that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been sick with severe bronchitis all week. I have a horrid cough, high fever and my body hurts from all the coughing. I haven't slept more than 2-3 hours over the last few nights because of the coughing.
Even though I've been sick, I've continued working full-time, I've cooked every night this week and I've kept up with housework for the most part.
The laundry (clean) has piled up and I left dishes in the sink last night after I cooked.
I got home from work, caught a 20 minute nap and decided to get dinner started. DH asked what we were having. I told him we would have last night's main course along with 2 freshly cooked sides. He got all huffy and told me that he didn't want it two nights in a row.
I told him that I refused to waste all that food and that that is what I would make. He reluctantly accepted it.
As I'm cooking, he says "did you get a chance to go to the store to pick up my energy bars?"
I told him that I couldn't today and he'd have to wait until this weekend when I do grocery shopping. He told me that "I'm not living up to my obligations." He then told me that "you sure have time to go out and party with your friends though." He was referring to my birthday party last week. My sister flew in from the west coast and she and 10 of my girlfriends took me out for dinner and drinks.
This was pre-illness. I go out maybe 1-2 times per month for dinner with my friends. I hardly call that partying.
I turned off the burners, threw all the food in the trash and told him to go fuck himself.
I am BEYOND pissed. Do I not deserve a little compassion?
I'm so mad at him.

I would have done the same. Sometimes they need a reminder.

[Anonymous]

I'd let him know that "in sickness and in health" didn't refer to the wife making dinner for the husband.

[Anonymous]

This is abusive.

[Anonymous]

DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH HIM. You think it's bad now? I can't even begin to imagine what an a-hole he would be with kids in the picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the fuck is wrong with this person, your DH?

I mean seriously... what the actual fuck?

I am dumbfounded that there actual exists such an evil little asshole out there and he somehow managed to get married.

x2

I think I love both of these posters.

Me too!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd let him know that "in sickness and in health" didn't refer to the wife making dinner for the husband.

The spouse in sickness needs to take care of the spouse in health. Yeah, that's a new interpretation!

[Anonymous]

Why do you cook, OP? He treats you the way you allow him to treat you.

[Anonymous]

How are you doing OP?

Even if you can't get him to do 50% of the domestic work I would at least tell him that he needs to do more. Women are paid less than men (maybe 70 cents on the dollar) and often choose lower paying professions. But regardless, you still work full time. It's not fair that when you are home after a long day of work that you are busting your ass and he is lounging around. Also, tell him that when you're sick he's responsible for making dinner and running errands.