Is my marriage over?

post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
[Post New]08/05/2014 15:48
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Anonymous
I had a similar issue OP, numerous procedures, every few months, etc. I have children. I don't get that part. My ability to carry a child was never in question and I was basically expelling chunks of flesh at a time from the chemo cream I had to use. (Sorry for the TMI). I think it will be fine. Don't make this more than it is and for crying out loud, leave your husband's private information private.
[Post New]08/05/2014 15:49
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It just kills me that I waited for no reason. What was the point?




You basically revealed his private sexual history to your friend? Ouch. You are a piece if work. No wonder he is done with you and this situation.



Ah, I see. It's ok to judge my lack of one but not ok to even mention he had one. Ok, thanks. Done here.


No, no one is judging your lack of one, and you can/should discuss that as much as you'd like. But you don't have the right to discuss HIS sexual history, only he does.
[Post New]08/05/2014 15:49
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Anonymous
And now I can tell you your husband is not being compassionate because I'm guessing you have wore him down with you acting like you are a victim.

Get the fuck over it. Put your big girl panties on, focus on your health, focus on your relationship, and stop trying to make everyone feel bad for you. You aren't the first person to deal with this type of shit.
[Post New]08/05/2014 15:51
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Anonymous
My sincere advice OP as a first step is to get a new OB. I don't know it yours is being particularly inflammatory or if you are reading into this, but a second opinion on the pregnancy thing would be useful.
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:04
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MarriedManHunting
Member Offline

Agreed. You're making much too big a deal out of it.

I admit, I had tons of partners b4 marriage that the Mrs knew from almost the very beginning. It was before the day of Aids and Herpes thank god. She didn't make a bid deal out of it.

Shortley after her 1st pg, the OB told her she had an unusual exam and HPV caused it. She came home accusing me of cheating. Never cheated for the first 31 yrs. It was perpostourous for her to think so, so I pretty much just ignored it. They burned her cervix which she described how painful it was, ouch.

7 yrs later, the exact same thing occured after the 2nd pg. She had it taken care of again. She's had perfectly normal exams for the last 20 yrs.

I would say, stop hinting to your DH and come right out and tell him you need more emotional support from him. For heavens sake, stop accusing him and making him feel to blame.
Young men have a hard time understanding women ..... keep having direct talks until it gets thru to him. Men are very different from women. Learn to love it.
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:12
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Anonymous
OP, you had CIN, not cancer. You aren't dying. The odds this might prove to be fatal are laughably miniscule, particularly in light of how much scrutiny you are under from a team of doctors.

Stop catastrophizing your issue. You've had abnormal pap smears. Everyone does.
Stop feeling so sorry for yourself.
Stop telling people intimate details about your GYN issues - trust me, no one wants to know the nitty gritty.
Stop blaming your husband for making choices other than the ones you would make.
Stop looking for the worst possible outcome. It's entirely possible (as many of us have told you) to have multiple cervical procedures and healthy pregnancies.

Get a new doctor.
Get some counseling.
Deal with your anger and resentment
Have a really honest conversation with your husband and ask him to support you.

Best of luck.
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:51
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Anonymous
What's CIS, LEEP, CIN?
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:53
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You guys sound like you have other issues, but you shouldn't hold HPV against him. Nearly everyone has it.


+1 Get a grip, OP.
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:55
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Anonymous
CIS - carcinoma in situ (Stage Zero cancer)
LEEP - a cervical surgery to remove abnormal cells
CIN - basically means abnormal pap smear
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:56
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Anonymous
You can get HPV from kissing. Did you kiss anyone before marriage, OP?
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:57
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:And now I can tell you your husband is not being compassionate because I'm guessing you have wore him down with you acting like you are a victim.

Get the fuck over it. Put your big girl panties on, focus on your health, focus on your relationship, and stop trying to make everyone feel bad for you. You aren't the first person to deal with this type of shit.


+1
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:58
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Anonymous
If you're going to continue to be a shrew, I hope the marriage is over, for DH's benefit.
[Post New]08/05/2014 16:59
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You can get HPV from kissing. Did you kiss anyone before marriage, OP?


Or DH might have gotten it from kissing and then transmitted it to you during oral sex.

Honestly, I wonder how many men we know will develop oral cancer or head and neck cancer from HPV over the next 20-30 years.
[Post New]08/05/2014 17:05
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Anonymous
Man oh man am I glad to be away from Catholicism. To feel that dirty over a common problem is so sad. My whole early life I felt disgusting and horrible about myself b.c I liked sex and masturbation. Esp since I'm female.

And f your "friends" that is a load of crap.
[Post New]08/05/2014 17:11
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Anonymous
I'm judging you, OP. Shaming your husband isn't going to help your health or your marriage. Your situation is not fatal. Tone down the histrionics. Your husband is not a bad person or lesser on the moral scale because he had sexual experiences prior to marriage. Get some education about your body and stop spreading you and your husband's business around town to your friends!
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