Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, OP, parenting is really hard, and the thing that makes it work is for both parents to be on the same team. There are going to be many instances where you and your DH will have to make decisions together and you might not agree. What happens if he decides that the baby shouldn't be vaxxed? And what about deciding how to split holidays? Is he going to pull this shit every time, refusing to compromise?

Your husband needs to understand that you, him and your child are his primary family unit now and that to be a good father, he needs to do what is best for his FAMILY. You are telling him what is best for you and he is dismissing it. This does not bode well for the future. I urge you to find a way to nip this in the bud. If you need to book a session with a marriage counselor, then do it now rather than waiting for things to fall apart months or years down the road.

I totally agree with the first paragraph - but then you contradict all of the rational and sensible statements in the second. Did two different people write this?

I wrote this. And I stand by it. I think that both parents should put their family first. Their NUCLEAR family, that is. And I think both parents should be willing to compromise. OP is willing to (by having ILs come stay in hotel). DH isn't willing to try. He needs to learn--fast. Professional help is probably the quickest way to learn these skills on an accelerated schedule

I agree with this poster. You and your child are his primary family now, and his obligation is to the two of you.

Anonymous wrote:OP is compromising. Did you miss the part where she agreed to have them come and stay in a hotel? That's COMPROMISE.

Would you give a shit if your DH was so obviously pooh-poohing his pregnant wife's wishes, though? That's the question--and I think the answer would be NO, given that you are a heinous MIL in training.

Your husband needs to understand that you, him and your child are his primary family unit now and that to be a good father, he needs to do what is best for his FAMILY. You are telling him what is best for you and he is dismissing it. This does not bode well for the future. I urge you to find a way to nip this in the bud. If you need to book a session with a marriage counselor, then do it now rather than waiting for things to fall apart months or years down the road.

I wrote this. And I stand by it. I think that both parents should put their family first. Their NUCLEAR family, that is. And I think both parents should be willing to compromise. OP is willing to (by having ILs come stay in hotel). DH isn't willing to try. He needs to learn--fast. Professional help is probably the quickest way to learn these skills on an accelerated schedule.

Anonymous wrote:the first few days I walked around mostly topless with the equivalent of an adult diaper on my rear end. I complained about my episiotomy, all the blood I was passing, and constantly was feeling myself up to see if milk had arrived. I was also grouchy. Perhaps you can share this with your DH and ask him if he thinks his parents might not want to wait a week.

Anonymous wrote:DH's parents wanted to be around and I didn't want them there, so I made everyone else uncomfortable with my nursing in the living room. I also didn't bother to lift a finger to help with any household duties and basically treated them as my servants, but in a nice way. Three days in and they got a hotel room.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that what is best for mom is ALWAYS what is best for the family (or what's best for Dad, child, etc). But I think in this case, a stressed out mother will probably lead to a stressed out baby and bad situation overall. DH should do all he can to put her at ease and to make the transition after birth smooth and her recovery a comfortable one. I do think that would probably be best for any new family, in general.

I don't think that what is best for mom is ALWAYS what is best for the family (or what's best for Dad, child, etc). But I think in this case, a stressed out mother will probably lead to a stressed out baby and bad situation overall. DH should do all he can to put her at ease and to make the transition after birth smooth and her recovery a comfortable one. I do think that would probably be best for any new family, in general.

Anonymous wrote:OP just tell your husband that you will be having YOUR mother stay to help nurse him through his future vasectomy. She will be on hand to change his band aid and check for swelling and redness. If your body is 50% his then his body is 50% yours.