I wanted to throw my son out the window...

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[Post New]05/14/2011 08:04
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be happy to help set up a fund to hire a night nurse if others are willing to contribute as well...


This is probably the best way to go, because then OP wont' have a bunch of strangers traipsing around. I would definitely contribute.



Me, too.
[Post New]05/14/2011 08:28
Anonymous
OP, I think I know who you are. We are your friends and we love you and the baby very much. We know what you are going through and it is very hard. Please let us know ANYTIME if, no, WHEN you need our help. We will be there for you. This too shall pass but please, please reach out to us when you need to-you can call me in the middle of the night just to talk if you need to. Please don't despair-you are very loved and so is your little one.
[Post New]05/14/2011 09:11
Anonymous
OP, many good posts and suggestions here, (save for one - I never wanted to reach through the screen and slap someone this badly before). Nothing new to add except hang in there. Would also love to help in some way. Please write back and let us know you're OK. Hugs to you!
[Post New]05/14/2011 09:14
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, I think I know who you are. We are your friends and we love you and the baby very much. We know what you are going through and it is very hard. Please let us know ANYTIME if, no, WHEN you need our help. We will be there for you. This too shall pass but please, please reach out to us when you need to-you can call me in the middle of the night just to talk if you need to. Please don't despair-you are very loved and so is your little one.


If you know who she is, would you mind checking in and reporting back?
[Post New]05/14/2011 09:18
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I think I know who you are. We are your friends and we love you and the baby very much. We know what you are going through and it is very hard. Please let us know ANYTIME if, no, WHEN you need our help. We will be there for you. This too shall pass but please, please reach out to us when you need to-you can call me in the middle of the night just to talk if you need to. Please don't despair-you are very loved and so is your little one.


If you know who she is, would you mind checking in and reporting back?
I just asked a close mutual friend to read OP's post and she says it's not I think it is. Please see next post.
[Post New]05/14/2011 09:24
djsegal9456
Member Offline
OP, please private message me if you wish. Whether we know each other or not, I will be happy to help you if you wish-to babysit, to talk, whatever. Just let me know.
[Post New]05/14/2011 18:44
Anonymous
bump
[Post New]05/14/2011 20:55
Anonymous
I'd be more than happy to help in any way too!
[Post New]05/14/2011 21:40
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Wow, what do you expect from a 3 month old? He is a newborn baby! Newborn babies do not sleep very long, which means you do not either. You should have never had a baby if you are most concerned about YOUR sleep. Horrible... Good luck to your child and you my dear, need more than luck. You need help!


You are an ass. She is so stressed. You must have never had a newborn. Please don't post again.
[Post New]05/15/2011 06:39
Anonymous
OP, when you can, could you please check in with us and let us know how things are going? Sending you and little one hugs.
[Post New]05/15/2011 08:33
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I think I know who you are. We are your friends and we love you and the baby very much. We know what you are going through and it is very hard. Please let us know ANYTIME if, no, WHEN you need our help. We will be there for you. This too shall pass but please, please reach out to us when you need to-you can call me in the middle of the night just to talk if you need to. Please don't despair-you are very loved and so is your little one.


If you know who she is, would you mind checking in and reporting back?


Or just go over there and ask what you can do to help. What are you waiting for? Even if it's not the person you think it is, obviously the other person could use a hand, too.
[Post New]05/15/2011 11:17
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I think I know who you are. We are your friends and we love you and the baby very much. We know what you are going through and it is very hard. Please let us know ANYTIME if, no, WHEN you need our help. We will be there for you. This too shall pass but please, please reach out to us when you need to-you can call me in the middle of the night just to talk if you need to. Please don't despair-you are very loved and so is your little one.


If you know who she is, would you mind checking in and reporting back?


Or just go over there and ask what you can do to help. What are you waiting for? Even if it's not the person you think it is, obviously the other person could use a hand, too.
9:18 here-the person I thought it might be is away for the weekend. We offered to babysit and help in anyway possible before I even read this thread. My friend and I are in constant contact with this person. If it's someone else I don't know, it's a little hard for me to just show up and offer to lend a hand. I did post under my username asking the OP to get in touch with me-so far no messages. If I do hear anything I will report back without divulging any of OP's personal info. Any other suggestions?
[Post New]05/15/2011 16:12
Anonymous
If anyone knows the OP, or a mom in a similar situation, please give her a call and say, "I'm coming over with a healthy home-cooked meal and groceries. While I'm there, can I hold the baby while you nap and shower?" Repeat as needed and spread the word. Please don't wait for her to call you. Sometimes picking up the phone is just too hard. That said, OP, please don't tell people you are "hanging in there" or "you know, it's tough but I'm managing." Tell people you know that you need help now. Sometimes even loving family and friends can think that their help can wait if someone in need puts up too brave a front. We are all so busy, but you truly need help urgently. You and your baby have been through so much and I know you are a great mom, but you need to sleep and have support. I wish I knew you and could help you out.
[Post New]05/15/2011 20:40
Anonymous
OP,

I wonder if these responses feel overwhelming. DS and I were in a very similar situation. DS is now 11 months, so I'm offering some hindsight/ideas.

You might consider a night nurse or sleep consultation. Letmommysleep.com gave us some great ideas. Any experienced person can be a great help. In our case, an experienced nanny helped us for a few weeks. She really helped me understand getting the little guy to sleep. Sometimes the amount of information is overwhelming. There are so many variables. Sleep deprivation makes it diffuclt to be patient and sort through what exactly is causing your son to stay awake. It's just a relief to have someone there.

Some ideas though. 1) Gas can create tummy aches. I wonder if you tucked his legs up to his tummy, if he might stop the whining. 2) DS started his social experiments at 3 months. (Not sure if this stage come later for your premie.) He wanted to engage. I would just lay down and close my eyes. A few nights that took about an hour. Day 3 or 4 he returned to going back to sleep after nursing at night. 3) The stress in the household can sometimes overstimulate the little ones. A relaxing bedtime routine, making sure he understands it is now night, may help.

My heart really goes out to you. I think so many people are rightfully concerned here because sleep deprivation is no joke. I've had moments I'm truly not proud of because I was so desperate for sleep, as if I handle been able to breathe for way too long. I wish I had asked for more help so that we would have a better foundation now. Once I started to get some sleep, I was able to handle so much more. So I would try to take a break if the offers are there. New mom support groups exist all over the area in churches, community centers. Having people you can check in with about each stage, new thing your baby is doing is incredibly helpful. Even if there is no solution, it helps to know that someone else is going through the same thing. Knowing you have people rooting for you can also help in those awful middle of the night hours when our minds are just not the same. Getting out into the world during the day, socializing at the local coffee shop while DS sleeps in the stroller. can also help give some perspective.

[Post New]05/15/2011 22:16
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:oh - and the working mom's secret -- cosleeping.


THIS.

And nursing them. (or whatever works.) The hell with what people expect, whatever makes them sleep and lets you sleep. My first didn't sleep through the night for 2 yrs. I did, though..... .

Apparently, I can sleep-nurse. Bottle, pacifier, holding him--or try his own crib. Some kids do better that way. Experiment?
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