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I wanted to throw my son out the window...
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Anonymous
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not literally, but last night, I had had it.
My son was/is a preemie, I was on bed rest for over a month, he came two months early, then my hubby was laid off and a few weeks later, he moved out (we had other relationship issues and coupled with the other stuff I just mentioned, I am not suprised), I gained 25 lbs during the pregnancy and feel unpretty right now, I head back to work next week and non of my old clothes fit...and finally, since hubby moved (almost a month) I have been caring for the baby alone -day and night. I am exhausted, sleep deprieved, overall functioning but would really love to collapse and sleep for two days straight. My son is not sleeping well at all. Now granted, he is 3 months old, so I am not expecting a child who sleeps through the night, however, when he gets up to eat, which is every three to four hours, he tends to like staying up for about 1.5 hrs. I burp him and put him back in the bed (he sleeps with me), but he whines for at least 45 mins before he sleeps. Isn't this too long for a 3 month old who is otherwise fed, dry and needs his sleep? How did you get your 3 month old to go right back to sleep after feedings? |
Anonymous
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I'd put him back on the boob and let him fall asleep nursing. I know some people say that's a bad habit, but hey, it works and why deny yourself such an effective tool?
Are you using a pacifier? Maybe that would help too. |
Anonymous
| paci might help but it sounds like maybe you need to have some help also. Do you have any neighborhood kids that can be a mother's helper or a good babysitter you would trust to come over so you can get some rest? your parents? yes, at that age, my DD was up sometimes for two hours after she ate, it was horrible but it was only a phase. I remember for us it happened the day after I went back to work so she was almost 4 months old - I was completely sleep deprived and nursing so DH couldn't help much anyway. It's terrible but it is a phase. get a little help now and get some rest. |
Anonymous
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Since he was/is a preemie, he never latched on so I bottle feed. He has a pacifier (and won't sleep without it) but if he is on a mission to cry, it doesn't matter.
His difficulty in falling asleep is really affecting my ability of getting any sleep and I am worried at how I will function without sleep when I head back to work. |
Anonymous
| it will get easier, and you will get used to this new life. it sounds like you need to take care of yourself, whether that means getting a mother's helper, or just trying to take it easy and sleep when the baby sleeps. Are you just exhausted, or do you think you might be suffering from PPD? |
Anonymous
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It sounds like you need some help...please get some. Reach out to any friends, family, or even acquaintances that you may have and just say that you could really use a break and would appreciate the help for an afternoon or something.
My son woke up every two hours on the dot for the first year of his life. He still wakes up, but it's not as often. It just happens sometimes. He's just a baby. Hold him and hug him to sleep because one day he won't be thinking about you. I am not going to tell you how you should feel about it because everyone handles things differently- but I will say your post is a bit concerning. It sounds like you need some assistance. People can't function properly when they feel completely sleep deprived and stressed. |
Anonymous
| oh - and the working mom's secret -- cosleeping. |
Anonymous
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" I am exhausted, sleep deprieved, overall functioning but would really love to collapse and sleep for two days straight."
OP, so sorry, it is a tough situation that you are in, but getting angry at your baby will not help you. He is just a baby. Mine slept like a cat 20 min here, 20 min there - which meant i was exhausted and had almost no sleep, but i had some help once DH came home from work. Did DD fall right back to sleep after feedings? Well, she fell asleep while feeding and I had to keep waking her up so that she feeds, because if i left it up to her, we'd be on 15 min. schedule and me sitting all day with my boob in her mouth - she sucks for 10 min, sleeps for 10-15, sucks for another 10, and so on. So, a bit of a different problem, but same outcome: i was exhausted. So i badgered her to feed, and then we tried to get her to sleep. But often, she slept while someone was walking around with her in arms, and would wake up and cry the moment DH / I sat in a chair - even a rocker!!!! It passes, this is a phase and it is not forever. 3 months is just too young - especially that as a preemie he is probably as big as a 1 month old who was full term. So, bear it OP. It will get easier. And yes, I was also under impression that 'babies sleep all the time' but that was not my experience. She slept a lot, but definitely not all the time. I don't think you can do much to change your baby's sleep pattern at this early stage, but may be you can get more help. Someone to hold or feed your baby a few times per week for 3-4 hours. This will give small but much needed rest. Don't focus on your baby being 'wrong' in sleep pattern, but focus on getting some help from other adults. |
Anonymous
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Hang in there, you're in the toughest part. I remember thinking around 5 months, when I was back at work, that I was honestly about to have a nervous breakdown. But it got much better right about then.
If he is dead set on whining for 45 mins before falling asleep, is it possible to ignore him? If he's just whining, maybe you could close the door and let him whine/fuss. If he is upset though, and begins crying, maybe you could try rocking him in the bathroom with the steam. The white noise and the warmth seems to help put them to sleep quickly. |
Anonymous
omg - I'm a working mom and I could never co-sleep. I'd never get any sleep! |
Anonymous
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Wow - I'd be exhausted after all you've been through even without an infant. I'm sorry its been so rough.
I'm sure you've tried it, but are you swaddling him? We thought our 11-week old didn't like it, but turns out he doesn't like the PROCESS of being swaddled and is fine once its done. He sleeps much better when his flailing arms aren't waking him up. Developing a routine for sleeping (change diaper, swaddle, pull down shade, rub back a bit) has also helped. I also agree that you should take any help offered. If you were my friend, I'd be more than happy to spend a night on your couch and get up with the baby, but I wouldn't know it would be helpful unless you asked. Hang in there! |
Anonymous
| Hi, OP. Your situation sounds hellish. I've BTDT. At one point I would rather have chewed my own arms off than get out of bed to deal with my baby in the night yet again. I have been in your shoes and lived to tell the tale, and I would like to help someone else who is now going through it too. If you are willing to leave an anonymous contact email of some kind, I would be happy to help you out somehow -- running errands, even last minute, or cleaning your bathrooms, cutting the grass (not that great at it, frankly, but better than nothing) or whatever you need that your DH is not helping you with. Not forever obviously but until you are out of this really difficult time and on your feet. I know that is not what DCUM is all about so if my offer seems weird to you and you choose to ignore it, I totally understand. Good luck to you and your baby either way. |
Anonymous
| Wow, what do you expect from a 3 month old? He is a newborn baby! Newborn babies do not sleep very long, which means you do not either. You should have never had a baby if you are most concerned about YOUR sleep. Horrible... Good luck to your child and you my dear, need more than luck. You need help! |
Anonymous
NP here. This is one of the nicest things I have read on here in a long time! Good for you pp! And hang in there OP! Its sometimes hard to ask for help but its out there! Just ask. |
Anonymous
| Maybe reflux? Ask your ped for a trial of Zantac. I had a similar problem and it has changed my life. |