I wanted to throw my son out the window...

[Anonymous]

This is PP 12:04 - count me in as someone who would help. Didn't offer before, because thought it might be weird (so maybe your friends do, too!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not literally, but last night, I had had it.

My son was/is a preemie, I was on bed rest for over a month, he came two months early, then my hubby was laid off and a few weeks later, he moved out (we had other relationship issues and coupled with the other stuff I just mentioned, I am not suprised), I gained 25 lbs during the pregnancy and feel unpretty right now, I head back to work next week and non of my old clothes fit...and finally, since hubby moved (almost a month) I have been caring for the baby alone -day and night. I am exhausted, sleep deprieved, overall functioning but would really love to collapse and sleep for two days straight.

My son is not sleeping well at all. Now granted, he is 3 months old, so I am not expecting a child who sleeps through the night, however, when he gets up to eat, which is every three to four hours, he tends to like staying up for about 1.5 hrs. I burp him and put him back in the bed (he sleeps with me), but he whines for at least 45 mins before he sleeps. Isn't this too long for a 3 month old who is otherwise fed, dry and needs his sleep?

How did you get your 3 month old to go right back to sleep after feedings?

Ouch.

As other PPs have mentioned - don't be afraid to ask for help. Do you have friends or family who can watch the baby for a while so you can catch exercise, shower, and catch a nap? That will help immensely.

It is not uncommon to gain weight after a pregnancy. It is also not uncommon for infants to stay awake for a while after nursing - even in the middle of the night. Try the Happiest Baby on the Block, some of the techniques there should help you. And again, ask for someone to come help. You have a lot on your plate.

[Anonymous]

Another person who would be happy to help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another person who would be happy to help!

Me, too!

[Anonymous]

OP you out there? You ok?

[Anonymous]

OP I am a nanny. I live in ffx county. I have plenty of experience with newborns, I have fantastic references, and I currently nanny for a Pediatrician.
If you don't mind a stranger helping you, I wouldn't mind helping out for a few hours on a weekend, so you can sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what do you expect from a 3 month old? He is a newborn baby! Newborn babies do not sleep very long, which means you do not either. You should have never had a baby if you are most concerned about YOUR sleep. Horrible... Good luck to your child and you my dear, need more than luck. You need help!

Wow. That was really, really cruel and uncalled for. OP, I remember how difficult it was those first few months. It is too much for one person to heal from a pregnancy, an impending divorce, and take care of a newborn full-time. Please get some help, even if it's just a babysitter who can take the baby out for a walk while you nap. It's like the oxygen masks in an airplane...in order to help someone else, you need to take care of yourself first. You need help, and there is nothing wrong with it. It is to be expected. The person who posted such a cruel response, however, needs a different kind of help. Elementary kindness 101.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh - and the working mom's secret -- cosleeping.

This is so true. Just lie about it to your ped, unless you have a fabulous ped who is ok with it. Most aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op above all, if you do feel you are going to do anything crazy or unsafe for your baby, put him down, let him cry, and just take a breather. Crying is not ideal but a hell of a lot better than some alternatives. and get some helP please! Sending you sympathies!

I completely agree with this poster. I was in a tough situation as a sleep-deprived mom with a newborn. My doctor advised me if I was at the end of the rope, just put the baby down in the crib and step out for a couple minutes to take a breather. Being able to do that was quite liberating, and my child and I are doing quite fine now. But I also got some help--10 hours a week of babysitting while I slept.

Also, a sling was great because I could wear the baby while he slept. Then I would take a nap with him on me. Sometimes I would put him in a sling and bounce in an exercise ball till he fell asleep. then I would take a nap.

Check out Polly Moore's 90-minute sleep solution.

And please, get some help. This is too much for any one person alone.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. We've all wanted to throw our kids out thewindow at some point. I can even understand how people drive their kids into rivers. Sleep deprivation sucks. At 3 months when DC woke up I would feed to sleep. It causes other issues later on, but right now you need sleep. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Part of the problem is that the baby is really only 1 month adjusted. A few more weeks and sleep may be better.

I don't know much about preemies, but I was going to mention this, too. I can tell you that 5-6 weeks was the absolute WORST for me. I was about ready to give my baby back, except that even thinking that made me feel like an awful person--which, of course, didn't help matters since I already thought I was an awful parent because all my son did was cry and want to be held. (No one had warned me that this is what they do at that age. Seriously. Or if they had, I really did not understand the extent of it.)

It will get better. It WILL, really and truly. Asking for help is incredibly difficult, but please do ask anyone you can. Even the people on here who have offered. But remember, it will get better. It really will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh - and the working mom's secret -- cosleeping.

OP said the baby sleeps in her bed.

At 3 months old, your son should be able to get back down after you feed him. Have you considered having him sleep in his own room? When he wakes and you go in to feed him, turn on a very dim light (such as a night light) or crack the door just enough to see, feed the baby, then put him right back down and leave the room. You'd be surprised - he might be able to fall back to sleep on his own.

I am not anti-co-sleeping, however the one child I tried it with, I spent two years waking up every 3 hours or so until I finally put my daughter in another room.

[Anonymous]

I got whiplash between the 12:21 and the 12:24 posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am a nanny. I live in ffx county. I have plenty of experience with newborns, I have fantastic references, and I currently nanny for a Pediatrician.
If you don't mind a stranger helping you, I wouldn't mind helping out for a few hours on a weekend, so you can sleep.

Would you do that for free?

[Anonymous]

No advice - just lots of sympathy. You've been through a lot and I'm sorry you are going through this alone. I wish you peace and I do think you are in the thick of it and remember that it will get easier.

It is so nice that people are offering to help you on DCUM - I hope you have some trusted folks you can turn to!