One of my sons enrolled into St. Andrew's high school (after attending the PS-8 where I am Head), and he has enjoyed a truly wonderful two years there so far. I continue to be impressed with the thoughtfulness of the faculty in my meetings with them.

We have not found it to be a predominantly religious environment, though there have been Chapels and religious elements to such areas as community service. It does not upset me to have my son put on a tie now and again for a Chapel.

The lacrosse program appears to have received time and attention toward strengthening, though I can't speak to its previous state. My son is part of the team and enjoys the challenges it provides. Some schools have been stiff competitors (such as Potomac), others have been more on par (such as St. James).

Can't speak to the vocal music program.

I hope this is of help, and I wish you luck in your search for the best fit.

John

As a new parent to SAES (one of my children just started in 9th grade), I (and my son) have been delighted with the experience. He has been appropriately challenged in his courses - just the other day he was memorizing lines of the Odyssey, which made this former classics major happy. I was very impressed by the quality of the faculty during their Open House as they discussed the most effective use of classroom time.

- John Huber

Hello all -

If it's not too intrusive, I'll jump into the conversation...

First - yes, I used to post on this forum, but I withdrew a little while back. As much as I wanted the forum to be about discussing educational topics, it often felt as if there was unnecessary / unproductive anonymous sniping, which was too distressing to read on a regular basis. I also didn't want to post for the purpose of school promotion, but to engage parents in educational topics. I use my full name on posts as a point of authorship, and while I hadn't connected my name to the school, astute readers figured things out pretty quickly, so my "cover" was blown.

I do appreciate the feedback on this particular thread, both the positive and the negative. Distressing to hear that we sent out communications with typos - we'll try to avoiid the mstake goingg fowrfd!

I welcome any or all of the posters on this thread to give me a call here at school to share their experiences in the admission process or learn more about what we do. Phone number is on the website, my extension is 226, and I'll do my best to speak to all who call. That way we can take these conversations offline and I won't muddy the waters of a parent blog with "official" school information, and leave to you to learn directly from one another about Barnesville.

And to the original poster, I appreciate your interest in us, and wish you well in the school search process!

- John Huber

I have not visited DCUM in a number of months - the tone of many of the posts has been too negative for my comfort - and on a whim I came to visit today. Your post on "my daughter's Kindergarten has a 45 year old in it" brought a smile to my face. Thank you for the humor!

John

Any independent school worth its salt will want to hear your concerns directly, and not let the situation fester. Strong middle school teachers and administrators can keep a "special radar" for the social mix in class and in between class, but only if they know what they're looking for. Sometimes students (and in my experience, more often girls) can seem very happy in the school environment, but then go home to share their concerns with their parents. Developing the partnership with the school should help, and certainly can't hurt.

That said, I wish you luck in the transition. There's a bit of alchemy mixed in with the art & science of middle school. I'm also not surprised to hear that one sibling's experiences are different than the other's. It's the "same drawer, different utensil" theory of children. I myself am the father of one fork, one spoon, and one set of salad tongs.

John

To the original poster:
While I don't think there's an expectation of 100% attendance at the annual gala / auction / big fundraiser event, schools do strongly encourage 100% participation in fundraising efforts, with people contributing within their means. My own experience is that families receiving financial aid often do contribute to annual fund. Through a strong participation rate, a school is able to reach out to other donors / institutions to show a wider base of support, which can lead to even greater giving. So for a family considering its $25 donation as insignificant, this gift, coupled with higher participation rate, can make a great difference.

Two true school stories to share - early last year, a parent at our school who had contributed greatly to our fundraising efforts was found after one event spending hours helping to clean the most grimy, greasy equipment. To see this parent's full contribution and dedication to the school was heartwarming. Then later in the year at our auction, a family which had received financial aid did their best to give back in a special fundraising drive for financial aid. They were so grateful for the opportunity for their child, they wanted to help as they could.

Take care,
John

Anonymous wrote:I have been told that teachers prefer something heartfelt like a note, especially from their students. It's the thought that counts.

In my early years as a teacher at a private K-8 in Pennsylvania, I remember vividly my first Christmas at the school, and being astounded at the haul of loot which came in. The types of gifts covered the gamut, from homemade cookies to $100+ gift cards. I was writing thank you notes for the entire Winter Break!

Certainly the gifts of financial weight do get noticed, especially for those teachers who feel they are paid well less than their worth. Teaching is not a profession that one goes into expecting significant financial reward, so the quantity of these gifts can leave one starry-eyed. Yet upon reflection, there are two kinds of gifts that stick with me years later. First, the homemade (and unique) tasty treats. I can tell you the exact name of the mother that baked the faculty members strombolis each year, and I was so sad to see her child graduate, knowing that the strombolis would cease to arrive each December! Ditto for the homemade rum cake. The second category of gifts I have loved is the student written note. I keep a file and pull them out from time to time as a reminder of both the students and my time in the classroom. I will keep these forever.

For the expensive gift cards, the Godiva chocolates, the monogrammed items - these gifts are certainly well appreciated at the time, and can help a young teacher feel rich as Croesus during the holidays, but years later, it's the homemade treats and the notes that I remember best of all.

PS Over the years of teaching, I did amass quite a collection of Christmas / Winter ties, and I am about 1/2 way through the rotation of them!

John

In my experience, I have never found enough of a significant flavor difference to advise families to one test over the other. There was some historical geographical preference in the two tests, but that seems to have faded. My school serves as a testing site for both for precisely this reason - take one, or the other, or both. Machs nix.

Not specific to boys, but there's also Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Difference by Dr. Leonard Sax.

I have children attending, but it would be disingenuous to wear a "parent" hat in this reply...

Since I didn't hear this question at yesterday's Open House, I presume you still are wondering about the commute. Rather than take up space on this message board, I'd be happy to have our Facilities Director answer your question, or we can put you in touch with a fellow Gaithersburg parent to get the "unvarnished truth". Please feel free to call or email.

John Huber

Anonymous wrote:John,

Would love to hear your comments re the K-8 school and the efforts and energy put into developing and maintaining the LS and MS. We loved our LS - had really great experiences. Then, got to MS which felt like an entirely different world - and also felt like it was an afterthought. We saw so much energy and attention being put into the LS with hardly anything being done in the MS. Everything about it was completely different and parents have been very unhappy for years re the curriculum and many of the teachers. Thanks!

Hm, tougher question. Obviously, I can't speak for your child's current (former?) school, but one thing I have observed, both as a parent and an educator, is that middle school can be harder because middle schoolers themselves are harder. The school-loving, happy young student in 3rd grade becomes the hulking, food-devouring, surly tween in 6th grade. And I believe more often than not, what parents get to see of the school is so filtered by this lens that it's natural to assume that something is wrong in middle school. In addition, as middle schoolers gain greater ability to master sarcasm, this becomes the voice of the day's experience. Again, I can't comment about whether this is the case at your school, but I believe this is a relevant part of the typical tension. MS is a different world! And just at the same time that middle schoolers need a small, nurturing environment for support, to allow them to maintain some elements of youth, is when they are yearning to have more and different peers to interact with.

I've had the pleasure of witnessing this Jekyll & Hyde transformation myself. For example, I'll happen to spy one of my own children at an assembly, having the best time, but at the dinner table that evening, the same wonderful assembly is described as stupid and little-kid.

John

Anonymous wrote:John,
Thanks for your thoughts. They are, as always, much appreciated. I was wondering if you would have any thoughts and/or advice about how to tell a K-8 coed school that you are leaving early b/c you would like to switch to a single-sex school for your child? In truth if our current school were single sex we would stay, but we really, really want the single-sex experience and that is what is driving the move.

Every case being different, it's difficult to suggest an appropriate "approach" (never mind that the head of your child's current school probably doesn't want you to leave, and wouldn't appreciate another head's advice on making it easier!). Having said that, when a family comes to me early in the process, explains clearly why they're looking for a different school, and the new school has a clear difference in mission (coed vs. single sex, day vs. boarding), I think the honest approach is best. Former students of my school have left ahead of 8th grade graduation for single sex schools, sometimes boarding - and given that that's not what my school does, I respect the parent's thoughtful consideration of other schools' missions. Early notice makes it easier all around, I believe.

This actually falls under the NAIS Principles of Good Practice - under guideline #8 of principles of good practice for admission, "the school recognizes the right of currently enrolled students and families to consider other educational options, and if a transfer is initiated by the family, the school provides appropriate support and documentation in a timely manner, including reminding the family of any policies related to the contractual obligations to the current school."

John

This has been a most informative and civil discussion, and I want to thank all the previous posters for their thoughts. As a head of an EC-8 school, I believe passionately in the structure and its benefits for both younger and older students, so it's sad to see students departing before the "payoff" of the middle school years. Exit interviews that I and others have held cover some of the reasons given by our posters, but in a format like this, it's a little easier to be more straightforward, yes? Again, much appreciated.

John

Anonymous wrote:John Huber's post (noted earlier) is good, but it does refer to what a school's culture is, and how you might ferret it out, not questions to ask.

To go a slightly different direction, in my experience, school cultures are EXTREMELY different. And the culture the school admin touts can be very different from the actual culture that pervades - driven largely by parents. When these clash, it is not pretty.

Thanks for the mention. Before too long I will be going through the process myself as a parent, so I'll have to practice what I preach! (Never easy.)

There are two "hidden" domains that other posters may have referenced that could be worth investigating in a tour / open house...
1. Faculty professional development. Funds committed to supporting teachers will have a positive and direct benefit to the students. So...

How much does the school support professional development financially? What percentage of the operating budget goes toward faculty professional development? Are there restricted funds supporting this as well? How many faculty take part in a given year? Does the school fund graduate work for its teachers? Have any of the faculty members led workshops? (A good question to see if senior faculty are active in their professional communities.)

2. Board/Head relationship. Much harder to probe, of course, as it's qualitative rather than quantitative. I once heard it said from a consultant that if the board chair and head are not in sync, you can see the effect on the students in the classroom. So perhaps the question is more about how much the board shares what it does, leaving for the questioner to intuit the board / head relationship.

Does the board meet with parents to discuss the strategic plan? Is there a strategic plan? What are the immediate goals of the board?

Hope these help,

John

Anonymous wrote:Seems like my kid is the only one having a tough time with the transition. Tell me I am not alone and that this too shall pass. And tell me my kid won't forever be pegged as "that child" by the teachers and staff who had to deal with this today.

From years of experience, I can swear to you that yours is not the only child who shed tears in the first week(s) of school. In my experiences at different schools, I have had little ones who are so against the thought of entering the school building that they flee on foot! These are the tender stories that get shared at graduation exercises years later.

And no, your child won't be forever pegged. We're used to this, really!

John