K - 8 School Parents: Leaving before 8th grade?

[Anonymous]

Tell us why you did or why you are thinking of leaving early for a school that runs to 12th grade.

[Anonymous]

I have noticed that there is a higher-than-normal turnover after 5th grade (LS) and 6th (MS) at our school. Some end up going to another private, some to public. Not sure of all the reasons yet but I have heard that it can get a "little too small" after being at the same school since K.

[Anonymous]

We left our school after 5th grade. My son had simply "outgrown" it and was ready for something bigger that only a school going up to 12th grade could provide. He had been with the same small group of kids since K and moving to a larger school quadrupled the number of boys alone. More class electives, a focused sports program and lots of clubs and groups, too.

[Anonymous]

At our small elementary school, the 4th and 5th grade teachers happened to be outstanding, but the 6th grade teacher was less experienced. And coincidentally, the school that we'd always dreamed of sending our son to started at 6th grade.

We also liked the timing because hormones are starting to run high at that age so it's a good time to switch to a single-sex school if you want to reduce boy-girl distractions.

My son was really energized by the change. Not only were the academics more challenging, but the culture of the school was more more grown-up. He used to share the halls with kindergarteners, and now he shares them with 12th graders.

Now that he's going into 8th grade, it's a relief not to have to worry about applying to high schools. And since his school started in 6th grade, it was easier to get him in then rather than hope for an opening in 9th. Moreover, he would have been way behind the school's accelerated curriculum if we'd waited.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, 4:52. We loved the teachers in the LS but found the MS teachers and curriculum to be lacking and uninspiring. My son loves the changes too - more challenging, more choice and a more grown up atmosphere. And the fact that we don't have to worry about applications until college time is.... priceless.

Applications before 9th were maybe a teensy bit easier as it was a more low-key process. I hate to think of his former classmates all testing and applying to many of the same schools all at the same time. Talk about stress!

[Anonymous]

Sort of a tangent, but I find this kind of discussion interesting because my DC is on a PreK-8 campus of a PreK-12 school. In the abstract, I saw that middle school with lower school set-up as a selling point. And, in practice, I've been wildly impressed by both the MS staff and the kids. The kids are a delightful combination of young and old -- i.e. young in the still playful, not yet stressed out or purely instrumental wrt school work and old in the sense that they're ready and eager to tackle big topics and they're the big kids on campus that the little kids look up to.

Which makes me wonder how much of the outgrowing the school issue is a function of where the curriculum maxes out (e.g. you don't have HS teachers on the same staff telling the middle school what's missing) rather than how the kids are grouped. Maybe there's an admissions component as well. In middle school, our classes are growing in size (as people nail down spots in the HS), while I'm guessing that in a PreK-8 school, the classes may be shrinking.

[Anonymous]

You are right on all counts, 17:29. We were in a K-8 school and moved to a K-12 with LS, MS and HS. Vastly different. A school that maxes out at 8th really works on a smaller scale and it's very hard to be able to compare the two schools if more is what you are looking to get.

Re my child, we wanted more academics, more clubs, organized sports and more kids. Could not get that at our K-8 school. At the new school, he is like a kid in a candy shop with all the choices and room to grow. They also have a MS that works around these sensitive years - the other school did not. Overall, a K-12 school simply offers more and has greater resources. My child has access to the HS facilities as well including daily sports.

While class size grows at the larger school, the K-8 schools, for the most part, dwindle in size. Some parents at our new school told me they moved because the class size was getting too small as they reached MS.

[Anonymous]

Both of my children went through Norwood for the entire K-8. I would strongly suggest staying through 8th grade. First of all, your child actively chooses his/her next school and grows up significantly during the process. Also, it's fabulous for them to be the top of the hill for 2 years. They can try out a smorgashbord of activities that they would probably not be afforded in a larger pond. We could not have been more happy. Also, Norwood really knew my children and could guide us well as we looked toward the next school.

[Anonymous]

What worked well for the Norwood parent may not work well for everyone. In our case, we found that the fewer the grades, the less that was offered at the school. My child had no choice in electives and there were no clubs or after-school activities once you hit MS. He is getting that, and more, in his K-12 school.

As for school choice, our son's opinion was primary. He was able to input what schools he wanted and his opinions were heavily weighted. As it turns out, his first choice was the family choice as well. He is thrived and no longer constrained.

[Anonymous]

PP here - You can tell it's Sunday. Meant to say "he is thriving."

[Anonymous]

My sense is that, at a K-8 school, if you stay through 8th the school is more committed to placing you in 9th grade; if you leave before, you are outside the standard process, the school MAY be a little less supportive, and MAY be less willing to advocate on your behalf if your child is wait-listed. Moreover, the recipient school has less of a cohort in which to view your child's strengths. These are not reasons to stay in a K-8 environment that is not positive for your child, but it is an advantage of staying.

[Anonymous]

22:43 - You could be right in some cases depending upon how happy the child and family are with the current school's program.

I personally would not recommend that a family put their faith in their school's exmissions director - they should be proactive and the ones really directing the move. The parents, and the child, are the very best ones to know where to move.

We had heard that the Exmissions Director was overwhelmed anyway and many 8th grad parents were frustrated that communication and information was not forthcoming.

In our case, we could not stand by and watch our son stagnate for another couple of years. He was completely bored and unchallenged.

We assumed that our school would not be as helpful given that we were leaving early and were also paying full tuition. It was also very likely that our spot would remain unfilled. However, many schools out there plan a number of events between visits, interviews, etc. that allow them to see a big picture. In my son's case, schools only had one semester of grades to go on, but he managed to be accepted into 2 out of 3 of the very top schools in the region.

We knew our previous school did very little to assist in the process. As for the new schools, I believe they are aware of the special considerations when families want to leave a school early and maybe don't get the support from the current school.

As for the school helping in a waitlist situation, I again do not advocate that anyone depend upon their school to assist them. The best person to help you in this situation would be a current family in good standing who can call the school and put in a good word.

[Anonymous]

I'm 22:43. I agree with you on a couple of points - (a) don't stay in a bad or stagnant situation; (b) it is up to the family to be in charge of this (though our exmissions director was able to place nearly all wait listed kids in schools of their choice - my impression is that they really did a good job with this). Where I diverge with you: My comment is directed mainly at parents who think that leaving in 5/6 is a better way to get into a "top" school - jumping the gun, as it were. I believe this particularly if the child, while qualified, may not on the surface appear "outstanding" to a school. It may be that I am coming from the situation of a positive and effective exmission director, and you less so. Having said this, we did as you suggest, and as parents remained much less passive, and in charge, with fortunate outcomes.

[Anonymous]

I think it's worth considering WHEN is the right time to change schools. Eighth graders are pretty self-aware; kids younger than that seldom are. If the kids participate in the high school selection process, they have a HUGE headstart on college -- they know what it's like, they know what they're looking for, and they aren't nervous at all. Those advantages are lost if a family jumps ship in grade 5 or 6.

If my kids were at Norwood, Green Acres, Capitol Hill, Sheridan, or any of the other top K-8 programs (and, full disclosure, they are at one of those), I'd leave them there for high school as well as other reasons. They're already growing up too fast for me.

[Anonymous]

You absolutely have to see the signs before changing schools. I don't think any parent would rip their child out of a school on a whim or to play the odds. I've known kids in 2nd grade who told their parents that their school was not working for them so I wouldn't put any age limit on when and where. In our case, our son was 11 when he repeatedly told us that school was "boring" and "not challenging". Further exploration proved him right.

When I was growing up, I had no part of the school selection process. How times have changed! Our son had an equal say and he was always able to articulate what he wanted and liked/didn't like. He was involved in the discussions and fully explained all his shadow visits to us. In the end, it was a no-brainer. He loved the same school that his parents did. He was the last child to leave one school visit and was found chatting it up with a teacher. When I finally found him, he said "I love this school. This is where I want to go." We didn't even have to have a discussion.

He's now got a full 5 years to explore before having to turn his atention to college selection and 6 years at a new school that will allow him to form closer and longer bonds with other students than if he had waited until high school.