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The requests are coming in for money for holiday gifts for teachers....quick question.
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Anonymous
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Money is tight this year...can I write to each of DS's a heartfelt note and call it a day? I, of course, do not want to appear cheap, but the large checks for MANY events and school needs are killing me.
What do you think? Should I suck it up and write the check? |
Anonymous
| If you can't afford it, then you don't have to. I think that a letter would be great. Also, if your school or classroom "pools" money to distribute to the teachers, the ethical thing would be for the person in charge to keep contributions confidential--not mentioning which parents were able to give or not, and also keeping silent about individual families' donations. |
Anonymous
| I have been told that teachers prefer something heartfelt like a note, especially from their students. It's the thought that counts. |
Anonymous
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I was slightly surprised last year (the first year of preschool) when the school administrator "asked" for Christmas donations to the teachers - shouldn't the initiative come from us? I know that pooled donations streamline the process for them, but still...
So I give a minimal amount to each teacher, and a lovely thank you note with photo. |
Anonymous
| Yes, a heartfelt note and a photo card or homemade card are lovely. Ignore any pressure, though I know it's HARD. Things are out of control today. As a parent, I have always contributed when I could, especially when my child has great teachers, but I resent anyone who puts even subtle pressure on me. I agree the initiative comes from the parents. I have taught in the past and didn't expect gifts. I still have all the heartfelt thank you notes I ever got. I have even written thank you notes to people who gave me thank you notes because I was so moved! I did get some very pricey things and I was just as grateful for those things are for a drawing from a child. I apprecited gift cards or any gift, but did not expect them by any means. There were times I got gift cards from parents with so much much money on them I felt embarrassed. I did not know if it was right to accept. |
Anonymous
| 1726...may I ask what preschool? Our preschool just started something similar and until I read your post I had never heard of such a thing. Everything is optional, but it was so odd. What does it teach our kids? I had already planned to give gifts. Getting a note from the powers that be just reflected so poorly on what is in other ways a great preschool. |
Anonymous
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A pooled cash or gift card gift has been the policy at every preschool my kids have attended (3 so far).
It pleases the teachers and it eliminates the problem of certain families giving extravagant, over-the-top gifts to try to "buy some love." Carried out right, it's uniform so nobody is branded more or less generous. I really like it and think there's probably a reason why all three preschools, quite different in character, have adopted the approach. Also, speaking as a child of a teacher, heartfelt notes certainly beat little token gifts (candles, apple-themed tchotchkes, ornaments, paperweights). But I would cut out contributions to a lot of other things (even the annual fund) before I'd cut out a gift to my child's teachers. Preschool teachers make so little and often pay for supplies out of their own money. |
Anonymous
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In our school, the practice is to collect 20 dollars at the beginning of the school year from all students and use it for teacher gifts during the school year. If the parent class coordinator is commited, the gifts tend to be quite personal (a fun DVD with shots from the class, picture book with personal notes from the students, etc.). I quite like this practice.
Thus, no major financial pressure due to holiday gifts for teachers. |
Anonymous
| I am a previous poster. To the above poster that sounds great! You give meaningful gifts. I think it is up to the individual parents or the class to decide. Administration should not have a place in telling you what to give unless they are just putting a limit on spending.Regarding the "buy some love" comment, people will do as they please. I have seen people give extravagent extras after contributing to class gifts. Giving pooled gift cards is not going to eliminate that. I trust that teachers are professional enough to treat the child who gives them an expensive gift the same way they treat the child who's family gives them a card.There is so much judgement on gift giving these days you can't win. What happened to..it's the thought that counts? |
Anonymous
| Previous poster again...realized I got off topic. I still think the heartfelt note is enough. No reason to feel guilty for living in your means. Gifts are optional. Expressing appreciation is the most important part and that can be done without spending a dime. |
Anonymous
| sdsdsd |
Anonymous
| You pay 25k to send your child to an independent school, your kids have Iphones and a nanny, though you're a stay-at-home mom. Stop being cheap and buy a damn gift card! Who in the hell wants a hand-written note from a kid that has horrible handwriting? Geeesh, some of you gals are nuts! Get a job!!! |
Anonymous
My child goes to one of the "elite" preschools (or so I am told and we were asked to give $20 dollars to the teacher fund. This just rubbed me the wrong way and not because I am cheap. I'm not-I plan to give to the fund and then will also purchase gifts for the teachers. I think from many parents will just give to the fund and it won't wind up with much for the teachers who do not make a lot of money as compared to parents who do have money. Without this request, I think parents who will contribute to the fund would be giving more actually and I also didn't like the whole "secret" part to it-sorry if I give a gift, I want it to be known and sorry if you are spending mucho dinero for preschool, you can afford a decent gift--plus none of the really cheapo parents will be shamed into doing something because the gift fund is secret . What I am not moved by though is the requests for all their charities. I give to what I want, when I want and I don't even blink an eye over that.
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jhuber
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In my early years as a teacher at a private K-8 in Pennsylvania, I remember vividly my first Christmas at the school, and being astounded at the haul of loot which came in. The types of gifts covered the gamut, from homemade cookies to $100+ gift cards. I was writing thank you notes for the entire Winter Break! Certainly the gifts of financial weight do get noticed, especially for those teachers who feel they are paid well less than their worth. Teaching is not a profession that one goes into expecting significant financial reward, so the quantity of these gifts can leave one starry-eyed. Yet upon reflection, there are two kinds of gifts that stick with me years later. First, the homemade (and unique) tasty treats. I can tell you the exact name of the mother that baked the faculty members strombolis each year, and I was so sad to see her child graduate, knowing that the strombolis would cease to arrive each December! Ditto for the homemade rum cake. The second category of gifts I have loved is the student written note. I keep a file and pull them out from time to time as a reminder of both the students and my time in the classroom. I will keep these forever. For the expensive gift cards, the Godiva chocolates, the monogrammed items - these gifts are certainly well appreciated at the time, and can help a young teacher feel rich as Croesus during the holidays, but years later, it's the homemade treats and the notes that I remember best of all. PS Over the years of teaching, I did amass quite a collection of Christmas / Winter ties, and I am about 1/2 way through the rotation of them! John |
Anonymous
| Thanks for the post! Always good to hear directly from teachers! |