I state that all hormones, including thyroid, should be assessed. I speak from experience. 24 years ago, my sex drive disappeared, along with weight gain, stomach problems and elevated cholesterol. The doctor I was seeing replied, "It's your thyroid." He prescribed Cytomel and within a few days, I was on the way to feeling good, once again. But low testosterone in women, or progesterone or estrogen or DHEA or all of them, could be responsible for diminished libido.

Our hormone levels change, usually for the worse,, as we get older. I agree that minerals and vitamins are important. However, getting a full hormone/thyroid assessment is the logical place to start for both women and men.

OP, your husband could have emotional problems that are not related to a psychiatric illness. Wife and I have been sexless for 7 years due to her verbal/emotional abuse and her indifference towards love making. One thing I've learned in therapy is to take care of myself. You do the same.

I've made the same recommendations to men whose libido and function have declined or disappeared. Before one tries weed, wine, porn, swinging...looking at hormones and thyroid function is the logical place to start. If there's something amiss, nothing will compensate.

Hypochondriac or a mood disorder? Mood disorders(depression, general anxiety disorder, bipolar) could manifest themselves as physical issues such as low energy, decrease or loss of libido, a desire to be alone, among other somatic expressions. I speak from experience, having bipolar illness. As my illness has worsened over the years, I've become more withdrawn, moodier, more anxious, along with more physical issues. My wife also has mood problems, though she's been self-medicating for decades with alcohol.(Addiction and mood disorders run in her family.) And, like your husband, I'll suddenly have an upward mood shift, which ramps up my libido, then I'm back to my baseline of moody and sad.

You can't make your husband go to a psychiatrist or have him discuss it with his primary, but perhaps you can have a heartfelt discussion with him. Being gentle is always the key when you have a heart to heart with your spouse or s/o.

As I previously wrote, talk with your doctor. Libido is linked to hormones, as well as emotion. First, though, get all your hormones checked, including thyroid. And if your doctor won't take you seriously, find another doctor.

Yes, it's possible that your sex life has gotten into a rut. I'm there, too, but my wife doesn't want to discuss it with her doctor(a female) nor does she want to spice it up in the bedroom. Again, get labs to see if any of your hormones are low.

'For better or worse' collided with reality. That's why there's couples therapy. And 'for better or worse' has sometimes made one or both spouses miserable. Definitely, a couple should give therapy an honest try. And, as I wrote, if a couple wants to try another way of managing the sexual aspect of their marriage, it's their business and no one else's.

A consult with a urologist. I don't know where you're located but I go to a great doc who works out of Annapolis and Greenbelt. PM me for info. I'll just say that at 33, I had zero problems with sexual function, so there are several medical possibilities for your husband's ED, including overuse of porn, stress, poor diet, low thyroid function, diabetes. Hit me up for my doctor's name.

A relationship gone sour? A marriage that crashed and burned? A long held dream that didn't work out? Who hasn't experienced heartbreak or loss? Sometimes I feel as if I can't handle another loss. Therapy, philosophy, religion. A helpful book is 'Feeling Good', which utilizes cognative behavioral therapy. I did CBT decades ago and it has helped, but there have been losses that still hurt. Be gentle with yourself and whatever it is, give yourself time to heal.

I think couples therapy is a good place to start, before you start sleeping around. Many of us just stumble through relationships or marriage based on limited knowledge of ourselves and many of us bring all kinds of emotional baggage into our relationships. As for sex, that's a component of upbringing, religion and sometimes, culture. Or, simply, a man or woman is reticent or reluctant to say what turns them on, what feels good and what doesn't. No one enjoys being rejected or embarrassed.

Perhaps, for you two, an open marriage might work. And it's nobody's business but your own. But, look before you leap.

Make a gesture like that in Florida or Texas and the response might be a real gun pointed at that moron. I don't own a gun but there are situations where having one would make someone think twice...unless you had to fire in self-defense. The US isn't Canada, the UK, Japan or other nations where either handguns are outlawed or tightly regulated. I have a female friend who was taught by her older brother, in the Army, how to use a gun as a teenager and she's owned a gun since she was 21. It saved her life a few times.

I apologize for editorializing, as I know gun ownership stirs up emotions on both sides. I just weighed in, since I have friends in Texas and Florida is where I was raised and have family and friends.

Have you spoken with your primary or OB/GYN? Women need a small amount of testosterone, just as men need a small amount of estrogen. My urologist starting treating women with low libido after he ran labs and found some patients had low levels of testosterone. Adequate progesterone(bio-identical, not Premarin) is also needed. Also, get your thyroid checked. TSH, free T3, free T4 and TPO(antibodies). I'm not a medical professional. Good for you for being proactive.

The more adventures you have, the more interesting you become. Never fathered any children and knew in my 30's that I didn't want any. At 66, I don't regret it. Messed up gene pool and it ends with me. The friends I have or had, were people I've known for decades. The friends I've lost, either from death or who drifted away, I miss, deeply. There were roads and opportunities not taken, as were romantic possibilities with wonderful women.

I'm not a typical man and I've lived my life following an atypical path. Regrets? Yes. But some things happened which were beyond my control and I'm still trying to keep this ship from sinking. Don't give in to your age and don't let the challenges of life drag you down. The only time the possibilities end is when you breathe your last breath.

No. I'm a man who loves women and my compliments are always tasteful. I do enjoy seeing them smile. And I've had women compliment me. I graciously thank them. If something more comes out of it, that's fine, too.

Curious, too, why you make it a point to say that you're straight. If your neighbor was playing up to you, then it's understandable why you declare your gender preference...or do you have or have you had some underlying emotional/sexual feelings for that woman? Not being lewd or sarcastic. I find human behavior, fascinating.

If my wife died or we divorced, I'd never re-marry. For me, its been a painful learning experience, but I can say that it got me into therapy(she wouldn't get any for herself)and in the past three years, I've discovered much about myself. I've grown, she hasn't.