Should widowed people avoid divorced people?

[Anonymous]

Was about to post this in relationship discussion but thought better of it since the younger crowd has less experience with this.
I have two sisters who were widowed early on (age 42 and age 47). I have encouraged them to date but they both say the same thing, that divorced men are angry, widowed people are sad. They both say that they want to run fast away from the divorcees since it is often a cluster. I want them to be happy, but something tells me that only another widower would understand their situations.

[Anonymous]

Would the date a divorcee who was then widowed?

[Anonymous]

Like almost everything in life involving relationships, there is no blanket answer.

[Anonymous]

Huh? Wtf, no and myob. They're not interested in dating yet so they're giving excuses for not doing it. Let them be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Wtf, no and myob. They're not interested in dating yet so they're giving excuses for not doing it. Let them be.

Leave your nastiness to the under fifty boards.

[Anonymous]

My widowed father married a divorced woman with no kids, that did not work out and they were divorced within two years. Then he married a divorced woman who had kids (in their 30s, same as us) and they are very happy.

[Anonymous]

Divorced or widowed both come with baggage (I don't mean to be cold) and it comes down to the individual. Some never get over the experience but many do. But you will never know unless you try. If I were a widow I'm sure I'd wait a few years before being interested in a new relationship and I'd likely prefer a widower - someone who like me had experienced a happy marriage but a profound loss - but was willing to move forward.

[Invictus]

If my wife died or we divorced, I'd never re-marry. For me, its been a painful learning experience, but I can say that it got me into therapy(she wouldn't get any for herself)and in the past three years, I've discovered much about myself. I've grown, she hasn't.

[Anonymous]

The best success I have seen at happiness and a new love/life after death or divorce are those that start over someplace with lots of younger- seniors in the same boat - such as Florida or Carolina beaches or other resort/senior friendly type community. Many of these people are quite active and found others with similar interests (tennis, golf, cards, cooking fishing etc.). I would imagine it would be very difficult, even stressful, to bring a new person into the same life you had with a spouse, couples you were both friends with etc.. So much to compare, memories, etc.

[Anonymous]

I have a few widowed friends in their 40's friends.

Widowed men in their 40s want younger women.

Divorced men cheated.

It is really slim pickings.

They have children to raise and being alone is much easier than a needy man. The on.y ones that remarried need to financially.

When their kids are grown and they are lonely and their peer men are in their late 50's and sick of the younger women they will find a companion.

It won't be the same as somebody you build a life with. My MIL is in an over 55 community and women on their 2nd marriage late in the game are NOT caring for a sick old man... But they have fun and companionship for a couple years.

[Anonymous]

Invictus wrote:If my wife died or we divorced, I'd never re-marry. For me, its been a painful learning experience, but I can say that it got me into therapy(she wouldn't get any for herself)and in the past three years, I've discovered much about myself. I've grown, she hasn't.

You make no sense.

[Anonymous]

Men want a nurse with a purse. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Weird. One of the happiest couples I know are a pair of widowers with a total of 6 children combined.

[Anonymous]

My widowed FIL married a divorced woman (twice, although she led everyone to believe she was still married to husband number two when he passed) and she's a miserable person. Getting worse with age, too. She's one of those women who likes to complain about and stereotype men all the time. FIL won't leave her, not sure if it's because he really believes in his marriage vows or doesn't want to admit he made a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Invictus wrote:If my wife died or we divorced, I'd never re-marry. For me, its been a painful learning experience, but I can say that it got me into therapy(she wouldn't get any for herself)and in the past three years, I've discovered much about myself. I've grown, she hasn't.

You make no sense.

He makes perfect sense. Marriage, for him, hasn't been wonderful and he wouldn't do it again, but it did get him into therapy, where he began to understand himself and realize, too, that his wife has problems which she refuses to deal with. I've been there, too, with my ex. The only thing good that came out of that marriage was that it got me into therapy and that's where I really began to grow as a person. Nor have I re-married. I have a great bf, we don't live together and we give each other lots of space. I finally love myself and my life!