Neighbor kid keeps coming over to play
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Anonymous
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Not sure if I’m just being super uptight or if this is in the realm of normal..
I have a 4 yr old (and other children too) and our 5 yr old neighbor a few houses down will knock on our door wanting to play nearly every day. The parents will even drop him out of the car on the way home from somewhere and just keep driving home before I even open the door. He is a nice child, but sometimes I’m busy with other things and don’t want to be cleaning up after them, getting snacks, finding activities for them to do, etc. - or we need to be leaving. If I tell her my child isn’t available I got a million questions, and why not, what is he doing, when are you coming back, what are you doing tomorrow. Plus my child gets disappointed that someone came over to play and I’m saying no. I don’t know the parents, beyond knowing one of the parents’ first names, which makes it even more bizarre. I find it pretty inconsiderate to send your child to other people’s houses, especially if you don’t know them beyond a name, and not even ask if it is a good time or if your child up for playing..something. I could see if the kids were older..but they are young to be roaming houses, I don’t let my 4 yr old do this. Plus I’m starting to get uncomfortable with indoor unmasked play dates. |
Anonymous
| No, we had neighbors like this. Send the child home each time. Walk the child home and speak to the parents telling them you aren't a free babysitter, do not want other people in the house with covid and enough is enough. |
Anonymous
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Poor little kid. Probably not getting much attention at home. Be kind, but if you can't host the playdate, just let him know and send him (gently) on his way. But keep an eye out for any signs of abuse.
I had a similar issue with two of my neighbor kids coming over all the time when i was on maternity leave. They were quite a bit older than my kids though, so they dynamics were different. |
Anonymous
| I would love it if kids would come to our door to play! How wonderful! |
Anonymous
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This is totally the parents' fault. You need to have a talk with your 4 yr old that some days (or afternoons or weekends) are Family Time and not Playing With Friends Time.
Kid: Can DD Play? You: Nope, we're busy. She might be able to play on Tuesday afternoon. Kid: Why? You: Because I said so. You need to go home now. Bye bye! Kid: Hi what are you doing? You: I don't answer questions like that from kids Kid: Why? You: Because I'm an adult and I don't have to Kid: Can I have a snack? You: You need to go home and ask your parents for a snack. We're not doing indoor playdates anymore because of the rising Covid cases (this, I'm willing to explain). But DD can't play now, so you need to go home. Kid: can she play later? You: No sorry, if she's playing outside tomorrow morning you can play outside with her. Just keep setting boundaries. It's YOUR house, YOUR kid. |
Anonymous
This is not a playdate. This is free babysitting. |
Anonymous
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Don’t answer the door.
Easy. |
Anonymous
| A friend uses a garden welcome flag. When the flag is out, then neighborhood kids are welcome to stop by. If the flag is not out, then it is not a good time. |
Anonymous
+1 Neighbor's mom is checked out, OP. |
Anonymous
| Do you want him to come at all? If so, one of the days that you say no, walk back and talk to his parents and tell them your kids are free on Mondays after 4, or you could give your number and ask for a call first before he comes. If you don’t want him to come at all, walk him back and tell his family that you aren’t doing play dates right now due to covid and you’ll let them know when that changes. Either way, though, you’ll have to go tell them. Since you haven’t; they assume the status quo is fine with you. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Just mom? |
Anonymous
I get that there is some parent time. But it sounds like you are over involved. Send them home for snacks. If you’re leaving send them home. They can clean up after themselves and find their own activities. Whether it’s normal depends on your background and where you live. Normal for me and my kids. But apparently not for you. You have to decide what you want your kids’ experience to be both now and when they get older. I have been happy to be the fun house. |
Anonymous
Sometimes it is nice. But sometimes it is inconvenient and sometimes I don’t even know if parents know they are gone. I find it pretty brazen to literally stop your car and have your young child hop out and go to essentially a stranger’s house and you peel off before the door is answered. |
Anonymous
| Drive by and drop all of your kids off daily for a week or two. |