Harmless crush while married

[Anonymous]

Your experiences? Is it possible to do this in a way that no one gets burned?

[Anonymous]

Cruses by nature are harmless, Just enjoy the thoughts and fantasizing about them. I would discourage flirting on the chance the other person might actually like you and you don't want to send them mixed signals and cause hurt feelings. I'd also advise never drinking around them or being alone around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cruses by nature are harmless, Just enjoy the thoughts and fantasizing about them. I would discourage flirting on the chance the other person might actually like you and you don't want to send them mixed signals and cause hurt feelings. I'd also advise never drinking around them or being alone around them.

What’s considered harmless flirting vs not?

[Anonymous]

Having a crush is not active, it's passive. You could have a crush and no one would ever know, not even the object of your crush. I think it happens to most people.

Flirting? That's different, and unless you're very sure that it won't get back to any co-workers, friends or spouse, it has the potential of turning people against you, sometimes permanently. There are few circumstances when you could flirt without anyone you know witnessing that, unless you're a traveling salesperson or similar.

Being just friends: that's a grey area. Lots of people have work wives or work husbands, ie, someone of the opposite sex at work with whom they get along well. You could have a crush on them too, but not flirt, just... spend time with them in a friendly way.

[Anonymous]

Of course! I'm happily married to my husband and have a crush on one of the cashiers at trader joe's, and a crush on a guy at work (he's gay). My husband has gone to Trader Joe's and come home like "I saw your boyfriend this morning - he got a haircut."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Having a crush is not active, it's passive. You could have a crush and no one would ever know, not even the object of your crush. I think it happens to most people.

Flirting? That's different, and unless you're very sure that it won't get back to any co-workers, friends or spouse, it has the potential of turning people against you, sometimes permanently. There are few circumstances when you could flirt without anyone you know witnessing that, unless you're a traveling salesperson or similar.

Being just friends: that's a grey area. Lots of people have work wives or work husbands, ie, someone of the opposite sex at work with whom they get along well. You could have a crush on them too, but not flirt, just... spend time with them in a friendly way.

That part. Work spouses are for the immature and will likely bring more drama than needed.

[Anonymous]

What’s the difference between a crush and falling for someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the difference between a crush and falling for someone?

The former is temporary, the latter might not be. Sometimes you only know once you get over them. Other times you know are soon as you start feeling the crush that it's not going to last.

[Anonymous]

I have been experiencing a crush and I can tell it’s mutual. I totally get butterflies, it’s an exciting feeling. Both married so just a crush and will fade.

[Anonymous]

There are no harmless crushes while you're married.

You should focus on being 100% present in your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are no harmless crushes while you're married.

You should focus on being 100% present in your marriage.

You're hilarious!

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I have a crush on my married coworker. He's tall with a really sexy deep voice. I don't flirt with him I just enjoy listening to him talk and thinking about his talk, and watching him walk. But definitely no flirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been experiencing a crush and I can tell it’s mutual. I totally get butterflies, it’s an exciting feeling. Both married so just a crush and will fade.

M or F?

[Anonymous]

One way to be sure it’s harmless is to never ever talk to your crush. I have had that happen to me twice. They were just men I saw at DD’s sports activities. It’s really weird how it just totally comes and then fades.

[Anonymous]

Another way to think about it is how much time you are spending “daydreaming” about your crush. I have a co-worker that I get along with great and find attractive and would absolutely pursue a relationship if I were not married. But if I’m not interacting with them, I don’t spend any time thinking about them. That’s my line for harmless crush vs something more.