DH working out every night for 2 hours
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Anonymous
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This past year DH has been stuck at home with our eldest for remote school - she did have a tutor/sitter for about half the day. His work was slow and he was able to use the time to get back in shape. I’m happy for him and proud of him for doing that. But since DD has been in camp and the youngest has been in daycare, he’s been making it more of a point to run at nighttime, leaving me with all the childcare for an average of two hours almost every single night and up to 4+ hours on the weekend on a weekend day. I’m a physician pregnant with DC3, and do tend to work long hours and worked all through COVID, and I can appreciate how hard this year has been for him, but I was home this week on a staycation and noted that his work is still incredibly slow. He has plenty of time to work out in the day, but he is literally just sitting around while I run around to the grocery store and clean the house. I am feeling furious and taken advantage of. Is it unreasonable for me to be mad at this? It’s not like it was a hot day, it was sunny and in the high 60s, perfect for a run.
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Anonymous
| Have you talked to him about how you feel? |
Anonymous
| With three kids and a demanding job, you need to get a nanny/housekeeper and he needs to step up. |
Anonymous
| Why would you have a third kid? Crazy. |
Anonymous
| You need to talk to him. That is an excessive amount of time to be working out. A 20 min jog around the neighborhood is sufficient when you have a pregnant wife taking care of two kids at home. Anything more than that and he should be during it during the day while the kids are at camp. |
Anonymous
| Talk to him about dividing household duties better. I’m a runner and sometimes spend 2 hours or even more on weekends but I always ran before anyone in the house got up so as not to interfere with family time and chores. |
Anonymous
+1. Maybe he prefers the weather at nighttime and hasn't thought about the impact on you? In any case, it's not fair for you to do so much of the housework and childcare compared to him, if he's not working more. Could you hire someone to help, if that's safe to do in your area? |
Anonymous
| 2 hours a day is for idiots that don’t know what they’re doing. That or professional athletes with top tier coaching staff. Tell him to stop being an idiot. |
Anonymous
| Affair? This board is full of threads where the errant spouse claimed to be working out. |
Anonymous
| Thanks all. His runs during the weeks are more like 40 mins, but before them he sits at his computer planning them and then he come back and does stretches or some strength training. Either way, I’m very annoyed. After I come home from work I either get on my exercise bike while the kids are running around around me, and before I was this pregnant I would go on nighttime runs for 30 mins, but wouldn’t spend any other time doing stretches or whatever. I’m definitely feeling taken advantage of, especially bc all year all I’ve heard about is how hard his life has been. I don’t doubt it was hard for a while, but he certainly needs to step it up now. We don’t have money for extra help and I’d be angry at him if I had to spend it to give him time away from basic responsibilities. |
Anonymous
Or ones having an affair. The 2 hour yoga class was one of the first rip offs for me. Would leave phone in car parked at studio so teacher showed it was there. Excuse was “running to the gym” or into the office for an hour or so on telework day. |
Anonymous
“Tracker” not teacher. “Tip off”. |
Anonymous
| Tell him to clean the house during the day while the kids aren’t home and then he can continue to do whatever at night. |
Anonymous
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So you were home this week and decided you now know everything about his daily schedule and you should micromanage it? I'll give you a partial pass because you're pregnant for that one.
If you need more help around the house say so. Ask him to do it during the day freeing him up for his runs in the evening. If you need specific help with your kids during that time like baths or whatever ask for that too. But don't try to dictate what he does for exercise. |
Anonymous
| You really can't deal with your kids on your own for 2-4 hrs at a time? |