DH working out every night for 2 hours

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hate to say it, but my impression is he’s cheating. Who sits at their computer to plan runs? And what is he doing all day? Then he’s stepping out at night?

He may be feeling overwhelmed that his work is down, you apparently are the breadwinner, and you have another baby on the way. He likely wants to escape the responsibilities and inadequacies of his life. An affair is a non productive, dead end way to do that. I don’t know what’s worse in these situations - the cheating, the persistent lying, or finally realizing your man isn’t a man at all (and that you are both the woman and the man in the relationship).


My guess was just the opposite. Once you're on a roll with working out, you feel great and become addicted to the endorphins. He feels great bout himself and wants to keep that feeling. He does need to step up and take better care of his family though.
Anonymous
Buy him a tonal and hope he makes a seat.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Buy him a tonal and hope he makes a seat.


Sorry meant to type "Buy him a Tonal and hope he takes the hint."
Anonymous
He needs to find a gym with a kids club. Situations like yours are why and when people start to think “where I live doesn’t offer the things I need for this time in my life”.
Weekends need to be spent as a family.
As for you, I haven’t met a doctor yet who fully grasps that most of us can’t just call a nurse or a tech to help when needed. Don’t unestimate how difficult online school was unless you were in the house doing it. The parent had to be the parent, the teacher, the counselor, the everything.. and not all of these roles fit well together. I can remember telling my husband “I wantmy kids to still like me when this is over.. not be their friend, just like having me around.


Tell your husband he can work out so long as the kids come with him. On weekends, you all function as a family unit. He doesn’t have the option to do solo stuff right now, not at this point in his life.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hate to say it, but my impression is he’s cheating. Who sits at their computer to plan runs? And what is he doing all day? Then he’s stepping out at night?

He may be feeling overwhelmed that his work is down, you apparently are the breadwinner, and you have another baby on the way. He likely wants to escape the responsibilities and inadequacies of his life. An affair is a non productive, dead end way to do that. I don’t know what’s worse in these situations - the cheating, the persistent lying, or finally realizing your man isn’t a man at all (and that you are both the woman and the man in the relationship).


+100

Shocked when I found out my spouse’s workouts were between the sheets and not at the gym, the running trail, 90 min hot yoga studio.

Never in one hundred years did it seem possible...

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:2 hours a day is for idiots that don’t know what they’re doing. That or professional athletes with top tier coaching staff. Tell him to stop being an idiot.


I’m a CPT. And that’s just not true. Two hours is perfectly reasonable for someone serious about their fitness. People who think their little one hour workouts are enough don’t understand what it means to truly train. OP, I agree. He needs to be more sensitive to family responsibilities. Can he work out early in the morning? I’m in the gym by about 5am. I hate it. But I need the time snd early mornings are the easiest time for me.


Yeah, but when you have 2 kids, 1 on the way and your spouse is a doctor, you don’t get to be that serious about your fitness. One hour max and you do it during your slow workday. Or when the kids are asleep.



Yep. I have three kids and am a lawyer. I exercise 20-30 minutes a day. It’s plenty. I fit into my high school jeans.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:2 hours a day is for idiots that don’t know what they’re doing. That or professional athletes with top tier coaching staff. Tell him to stop being an idiot.


I’m a CPT. And that’s just not true. Two hours is perfectly reasonable for someone serious about their fitness. People who think their little one hour workouts are enough don’t understand what it means to truly train. OP, I agree. He needs to be more sensitive to family responsibilities. Can he work out early in the morning? I’m in the gym by about 5am. I hate it. But I need the time snd early mornings are the easiest time for me.


Yeah, but when you have 2 kids, 1 on the way and your spouse is a doctor, you don’t get to be that serious about your fitness. One hour max and you do it during your slow workday. Or when the kids are asleep.



Yep. I have three kids and am a lawyer. I exercise 20-30 minutes a day. It’s plenty. I fit into my high school jeans.


+2 This guy isn't training for the Olympics. He's a dad of two who should be fitting his workout around his responsibilities, not fitting his responsibilities around his workout.
Anonymous
He’s having an affair. This is obvious.
Anonymous
The late night, after dark "runs" followed by a shower were John Edwards' M.O.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Hate to say it, but my impression is he’s cheating. Who sits at their computer to plan runs? And what is he doing all day? Then he’s stepping out at night?

He may be feeling overwhelmed that his work is down, you apparently are the breadwinner, and you have another baby on the way. He likely wants to escape the responsibilities and inadequacies of his life. An affair is a non productive, dead end way to do that. I don’t know what’s worse in these situations - the cheating, the persistent lying, or finally realizing your man isn’t a man at all (and that you are both the woman and the man in the relationship).




1) I use an online map to plan my run - easy to get the milage I want and visualize the route in my head so I don't flake out and not go the full distance I planned.
2) If he was going to have an affair, why not during the day so that nobody notices he's gone?? It doesn't make any sense to wait until his wife is HOME.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:2 hours a day is for idiots that don’t know what they’re doing. That or professional athletes with top tier coaching staff. Tell him to stop being an idiot.


I’m a CPT. And that’s just not true. Two hours is perfectly reasonable for someone serious about their fitness. People who think their little one hour workouts are enough don’t understand what it means to truly train. OP, I agree. He needs to be more sensitive to family responsibilities. Can he work out early in the morning? I’m in the gym by about 5am. I hate it. But I need the time snd early mornings are the easiest time for me.


Yeah, but when you have 2 kids, 1 on the way and your spouse is a doctor, you don’t get to be that serious about your fitness. One hour max and you do it during your slow workday. Or when the kids are asleep.



Yep. I have three kids and am a lawyer. I exercise 20-30 minutes a day. It’s plenty. I fit into my high school jeans.


And right about now those high waisted jeans are back in style. You kept them for 30 years???
Anonymous
Tell him to workout after the kid's go to bed.

He might complain but I did it for about a decade.

I'd come home from work. play with the kids. Dinner with the family. Bedtime. Then gym from 8:30 - 9:30.

It takes a minute for your body to adjust to that routine, but he'll get used to it
Anonymous
OMG, I know many of you have PTSD, but not everyone is cheating.

Sometimes a workout is just a workout
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hate to say it, but my impression is he’s cheating. Who sits at their computer to plan runs? And what is he doing all day? Then he’s stepping out at night?

He may be feeling overwhelmed that his work is down, you apparently are the breadwinner, and you have another baby on the way. He likely wants to escape the responsibilities and inadequacies of his life. An affair is a non productive, dead end way to do that. I don’t know what’s worse in these situations - the cheating, the persistent lying, or finally realizing your man isn’t a man at all (and that you are both the woman and the man in the relationship).




1) I use an online map to plan my run - easy to get the milage I want and visualize the route in my head so I don't flake out and not go the full distance I planned.
2) If he was going to have an affair, why not during the day so that nobody notices he's gone?? It doesn't make any sense to wait until his wife is HOME.


I have no idea if he's having an affair or not, but it does require the scheduling of (at least) two people. He can't just decide the moment he wants to get his nut off.



Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:2 hours a day is for idiots that don’t know what they’re doing. That or professional athletes with top tier coaching staff. Tell him to stop being an idiot.


I’m a CPT. And that’s just not true. Two hours is perfectly reasonable for someone serious about their fitness. People who think their little one hour workouts are enough don’t understand what it means to truly train. OP, I agree. He needs to be more sensitive to family responsibilities. Can he work out early in the morning? I’m in the gym by about 5am. I hate it. But I need the time snd early mornings are the easiest time for me.


Yeah, but when you have 2 kids, 1 on the way and your spouse is a doctor, you don’t get to be that serious about your fitness. One hour max and you do it during your slow workday. Or when the kids are asleep.



Yep. I have three kids and am a lawyer. I exercise 20-30 minutes a day. It’s plenty. I fit into my high school jeans.


And right about now those high waisted jeans are back in style. You kept them for 30 years???


She could be 30. Not everyone is a grannymom.
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