Husband said I’m selfish and terrible wife and he will divorce me

[Anonymous]

My husband and I had a yelling match just now. We were over at the in laws for a Father’s Day celebration. We left around 2 pm and left their place around 8:20pm. The long-standing issue seems to be that my husband, whenever we go over there, doesn’t seem to want to leave until very late. His reasoning for that is that his mother’s feelings get hurt. Whenever we have gone over there, we stay over until 11 pm or so or end up spending the night. As I’ve gotten older, I’d much prefer to come home at at a more reasonable hour on a Sunday. I need to shower, do laundry or prepare for the week and would like to get home at a time when I have a few hours to get myself situated before my week begins.

I have been telling my husband when we go over there to leave for home at 7:30 pm or so but he doesn’t commit to anything. Today we were over there and we left at 8:20 pm. I was tired and kept trying to hint to him to leave. We get in the car and he tells me I embarrassed him by keep checking the time. Everyone knows I wanted to leave and their feelings get hurt.

I was angry and told him it’s actually he that keeps disrespecting me. I said mean things, he said mean things. It escalated to a screaming match where I told him I feel foolish as it’s obvious he doesn’t care about me. He called me names and told me f*ck you! He said he hates me and I’m a selfish and terrible wife and he wants to divorce me and he is leaving. He starts trying to pack and I start crying and told him to stop. He screamed that he didn’t want to see my face.

I’m shaking and crying in the bedroom.

Am I a terrible wife?

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to stay married?

[Anonymous]

And why don't you drive yourself?

[Anonymous]

Get home out of the house. And don’t let him back.

[Anonymous]

1. If this is a recurring issue why not take two separate cars. Seriously.

2. It sounds like neither of you are fighting fair and you fight in a disrespectful way that escalates conflicts.

3. Get counseling. That is so much drama for such silly nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Two cars, problem solved. Or Uber home. Let him stay, you come home.

[Anonymous]

Get HIM out of the house and don’t let home back in.

You are not terrible; he is selfish and his behavior now is psycho.

Not sure what the background is but he is nuts and you should want him out. Change the locks and talk to a couple lawyers this week.

[Anonymous]

Help him pack!

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to stay married to this jackass? Convince us why you should stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get HIM out of the house and don’t let home back in.

You are not terrible; he is selfish and his behavior now is psycho.

Not sure what the background is but he is nuts and you should want him out. Change the locks and talk to a couple lawyers this week.

You know it’s his house too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to stay married to this jackass? Convince us why you should stay.

+1. It sounds like there are no kids? Don't get pregnant. Divorce his ass and find someone who can either have your back or disagree like an adult (and isn't on his mom's apron strings).

[Anonymous]

I would just plan to do everything I could to prep for the week sunday morning instead, and/or take my own car and explain to MIL that although you love spending time with her you need to get home in time to get a good night's rest for the work week ahead. If DH wants to stay over, he can.

So I would have bypassed this whole problem. But why do you want to stay married to someone who will scream that he hates you, and will say F You? My husband and I don't speak with each other like that when we're angry.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you didn’t realize you were marrying into families that party and gather long into the night. It’s considered extremely rude to leave in just two hours no matter who you are because family time is precious.

[Anonymous]

It's him, not you.

He knew or should have known what time you needed to leave. But because he is socially inept, he left open ended, left you in position to repeatedly ask him to leave his mother's home. In front of her. Made you look bad. Whole drama could be avoided by agreeing on time to leave ahead of time.

Or, conversely, he refused to even discuss with you, thus implying you will be prisoner until he says you are allowed to leave.

[Anonymous]

Next time you go, if there is a next time, just take 2 cars. That way, you can leave at 8pm to put kids to bed. He can stay till 12am or whatever