Daughter got into her reach school, but wants to go to the safety.

[Anonymous]

We're feeling a little disappointed as parents. But the decision is up to her and we haven't let it be known to her that we feel this way. Is it terrible to think that?

The safety is actually a better "fit" in so many ways, and outcomes will likely be similar.

[Anonymous]

Guess who is focused on the right things? Well done raising a level headed kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're feeling a little disappointed as parents. But the decision is up to her and we haven't let it be known to her that we feel this way. Is it terrible to think that?

The safety is actually a better "fit" in so many ways, and outcomes will likely be similar.

So why is this even a question? The best school you can get into is not always the best school for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess who is focused on the right things? Well done raising a level headed kid!

Yes, she is. It's just really hard not to get sucked into the "elite" college game.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s bad to think it. You obviously want what’s best for your kid and getting into a reach school is a great accomplishment that you have every right to be proud of.

But as long as she’s making the decision for good reasons, I’d let her make her own choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're feeling a little disappointed as parents. But the decision is up to her and we haven't let it be known to her that we feel this way. Is it terrible to think that?

The safety is actually a better "fit" in so many ways, and outcomes will likely be similar.

So why is this even a question? The best school you can get into is not always the best school for you.

You must not have kids.

[Anonymous]

Very silly of you. She gets the “win” of getting in to a reach but is choosing the better fit. Smart girl.

[Anonymous]

It's ok to have those feelings. Give yourself a little time. Your comfort level with her choice will change and you'll forget all about the reach eventually. Spend some time yourself (perhaps unbeknownst to her) getting to know the safety college more, reading the college's website, poking around in a forum for that college. If that's where she feels most at home, how you feel about it will come around too.

[Anonymous]

What are some of her reasons? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very silly of you. She gets the “win” of getting in to a reach but is choosing the better fit. Smart girl.

It's not silly, it's human nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ok to have those feelings. Give yourself a little time. Your comfort level with her choice will change and you'll forget all about the reach eventually. Spend some time yourself (perhaps unbeknownst to her) getting to know the safety college more, reading the college's website, poking around in a forum for that college. If that's where she feels most at home, how you feel about it will come around too.

Thank you, I've started doing that to get excited for her.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a smart girl!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are some of her reasons? Just curious.

Her safety is more of a big spirit school, and lots of culture/restaurants, things to do outside of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're feeling a little disappointed as parents. But the decision is up to her and we haven't let it be known to her that we feel this way. Is it terrible to think that?

The safety is actually a better "fit" in so many ways, and outcomes will likely be similar.

Bravo to your DD for knowing what is right for her...

Bravo to you for raising a good kid. This has been a tough year with lots of qualified kids are shut out of their reach schools. For your student is going to "give up" on the reach does set off some guilt. We feel the same with DS who will forgo a T10 acceptance. We are very grateful for this ride and are very proud of him whatever his decision may be.

[Anonymous]

I was your daughter and my parents were you. We lived in a town with a lot of pressure to go to elite colleges. They never told me they were disappointed, though I knew. I saw so many peers burn out because they felt forced to go to certain schools. I had a wonderful college experience. My parents were so happy that I went to a college that was right for me. And honestly, in the end, the only people who continued to care about the elite college status were people my parents realized they didn't really like to be around anyways.

Its fine and normal to be a bit disappointed. But be proud to know you raised someone who doesn't get caught in the game and knows who she is and what she wants!