Van Lifer couple camping in Utah national park - two weeks later fiancee arrives in FL alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any chance he just left her after they had another fight, and she died in the elements?

And then sent her mom a fake text from her phone on Aug 30? Or how do you suppose that happened? Twisting up in knots to think this dude is not guilty as sin.

+1. If he left Gabby alive he wouldn’t have fake texted mom. He was buying time to get himself safely home/hidden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so sad. I really feel for the police officers that stopped them. I do really think they were doing their best to assess the situation and it can be so difficult because dv victims have been manipulated and made to feel like the problem so deeply that they can be very convincing. And it’s also really hard for even well meaning men not to connect and collude with men who in fact are often abusers as you see the police officers doing in the video multiple times (both talk about their wives or ex wives having anxiety. Anyway they seemed like they cared about their job and were trying to do the best they could and are human like all of us and now I’m sure are feeling guilt about this. It seemed like one of the officers was new on the job and being trained. Ugh. It would be great if men would stop.killing.women. Uggh

The did everything they could possibly do. They took her aside. They were so kind to her. They offered her options. But, they couldn’t force her to stay away from him. I’m sure they are second guessing everything. I feel so bad for them.

Pp here, exactly I totally agree. I feel terribly that they will carry this guilt when it did seem like they genuinely tried to do their best - like you said separating her and trying to determine what happened. And like you said there was no evidence to separate them further than they did. In discussing the colluding etc, I didn’t mean that in a negative fashion to them- it happened to most of us watching the video if you read this thread. Abusers are so good at appearing harmless. Just meant they were in such a hard position and we are all going to look for ways to connect with someone which makes it hard for male cops. I really really feel for them. And agree they were incredibly kind for her and took far more time than I would expect law enforcement to do honeslty

The more we say "Aw, shucks, they did the best they could" the more things will never change. Law enforcement need bias training and mental health training. They need to have independent mental health coordinators to review the footage and go over it with them so they can improve. People have been adept at reading his behavior from the video, and instead of being defensive, they should want to learn from it. Especially since we now know how it turns out.

And, no this is not a rant on policing. It's saying that while most have good intentions, those intentions are not enough. They need updated skills and training.

People have been adept at reading his behavior with the hindsight of knowing that she was missing and it was likely his fault. That's a very different circumstance than when you're confronted with it in the field. I do agree though that more training is really necessary. And that videos like this could be helpful in that training (with analysis by DV experts, not armchair internet quarterbacks.)

The problem is though, that even if they realized he was a controlling, potentially abusive ahole, what were they supposed to do that specific day? She wouldn't press charges or say he hurt her. There was no evidence that he hurt her. They had her talk to her parents and they had them separate for the night. They can't arrest him for being a controlling, manipulative jerk. So what is the answer in this kind of situation (and I ask that as a real question, not a rhetorical one)? The only thing I can think of is to try and get her to a situation where she speaks with a social worker or DV counselor who might be able to help her realize she's not in a safe or healthy situation. But you can't force an adult to do that, right? And leaving a DV situation is not usually a realization people come to quickly, especially when they may not be in the best mental health and have been conditioned to blame themselves for things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Brian’s parents knew and lied through their teeth.

They might not have known. He probably lied to them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Heartbreaking. The woman that notified the FBI of van location in Spread Creek must be distraught. I don't believe she/they went through their hiking pics/videos for some time. Maybe they weren't aware of the ongoing investigation. She posted her video on Reddit just yesterday. That's when the trail was closed and the search began. Days turned to weeks, who knows if she was still alive.

https://youtu.be/PBp3aNAGuFM

If this was 1995, she wouldn’t have even had that video or heard about the case until years later when someone recalled the weird story of the dead hiker and she said she’d been around that area too.

In my mind she’s a hero and was able to give this family closure they wouldn’t have gotten for decades otherwise.

Because really - the police were searching Utah and Idaho. Wyoming wasn’t even on the radar. And even if it was - the park where her body was found is 310,000 acres!

A goddamned hero.

+1

This woman is a hero. The family has closure. Let’s see if they can get some justice now.

She didn’t even realize she had the footage until she was editing her own videos because her husband had left it rolling by mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brian’s parents knew and lied through their teeth.

They might not have known. He probably lied to them too.

Uh no. After Sept 1st when he came back with that van and she didn’t and her parents were frantic, they had a choice. They made it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Brian’s parents knew and lied through their teeth.

They might not have known. He probably lied to them too.

Uh no. After Sept 1st when he came back with that van and she didn’t and her parents were frantic, they had a choice. They made it.

What could his parents be charged with? And what could that mean in terms of jail time?

[Anonymous]

If it's deemed murder he will claim self defense. The police have him on video with a scratched face and she admitted to slapping him. The police were nice and told her they wouldn't charge her with abuse but had them separated for the night for their own safety.

[Anonymous]

Chris McDonough with the Interview Room is discussing the case https://youtu.be/h_vOdT7r1C4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so sad. I really feel for the police officers that stopped them. I do really think they were doing their best to assess the situation and it can be so difficult because dv victims have been manipulated and made to feel like the problem so deeply that they can be very convincing. And it’s also really hard for even well meaning men not to connect and collude with men who in fact are often abusers as you see the police officers doing in the video multiple times (both talk about their wives or ex wives having anxiety. Anyway they seemed like they cared about their job and were trying to do the best they could and are human like all of us and now I’m sure are feeling guilt about this. It seemed like one of the officers was new on the job and being trained. Ugh. It would be great if men would stop.killing.women. Uggh

The did everything they could possibly do. They took her aside. They were so kind to her. They offered her options. But, they couldn’t force her to stay away from him. I’m sure they are second guessing everything. I feel so bad for them.

Pp here, exactly I totally agree. I feel terribly that they will carry this guilt when it did seem like they genuinely tried to do their best - like you said separating her and trying to determine what happened. And like you said there was no evidence to separate them further than they did. In discussing the colluding etc, I didn’t mean that in a negative fashion to them- it happened to most of us watching the video if you read this thread. Abusers are so good at appearing harmless. Just meant they were in such a hard position and we are all going to look for ways to connect with someone which makes it hard for male cops. I really really feel for them. And agree they were incredibly kind for her and took far more time than I would expect law enforcement to do honeslty

The more we say "Aw, shucks, they did the best they could" the more things will never change. Law enforcement need bias training and mental health training. They need to have independent mental health coordinators to review the footage and go over it with them so they can improve. People have been adept at reading his behavior from the video, and instead of being defensive, they should want to learn from it. Especially since we now know how it turns out.

And, no this is not a rant on policing. It's saying that while most have good intentions, those intentions are not enough. They need updated skills and training.

People have been adept at reading his behavior with the hindsight of knowing that she was missing and it was likely his fault. That's a very different circumstance than when you're confronted with it in the field. I do agree though that more training is really necessary. And that videos like this could be helpful in that training (with analysis by DV experts, not armchair internet quarterbacks.)

The problem is though, that even if they realized he was a controlling, potentially abusive ahole, what were they supposed to do that specific day? She wouldn't press charges or say he hurt her. There was no evidence that he hurt her. They had her talk to her parents and they had them separate for the night. They can't arrest him for being a controlling, manipulative jerk. So what is the answer in this kind of situation (and I ask that as a real question, not a rhetorical one)? The only thing I can think of is to try and get her to a situation where she speaks with a social worker or DV counselor who might be able to help her realize she's not in a safe or healthy situation. But you can't force an adult to do that, right? And leaving a DV situation is not usually a realization people come to quickly, especially when they may not be in the best mental health and have been conditioned to blame themselves for things.

I disagree with the first bolded. People recognized it without knowing what had happened yet. There is some predictability in behavior, i.e. many serial killers first killed animals.

I don't know what the answer is because I'm not an expert. But, I am guessing there are many experts out there would love to consult and create training programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any chance he just left her after they had another fight, and she died in the elements?

Yes. And that time I washed a red towel with my white clothes on hot is not why the white clothes turned pink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so sad. I really feel for the police officers that stopped them. I do really think they were doing their best to assess the situation and it can be so difficult because dv victims have been manipulated and made to feel like the problem so deeply that they can be very convincing. And it’s also really hard for even well meaning men not to connect and collude with men who in fact are often abusers as you see the police officers doing in the video multiple times (both talk about their wives or ex wives having anxiety. Anyway they seemed like they cared about their job and were trying to do the best they could and are human like all of us and now I’m sure are feeling guilt about this. It seemed like one of the officers was new on the job and being trained. Ugh. It would be great if men would stop.killing.women. Uggh

The did everything they could possibly do. They took her aside. They were so kind to her. They offered her options. But, they couldn’t force her to stay away from him. I’m sure they are second guessing everything. I feel so bad for them.

Pp here, exactly I totally agree. I feel terribly that they will carry this guilt when it did seem like they genuinely tried to do their best - like you said separating her and trying to determine what happened. And like you said there was no evidence to separate them further than they did. In discussing the colluding etc, I didn’t mean that in a negative fashion to them- it happened to most of us watching the video if you read this thread. Abusers are so good at appearing harmless. Just meant they were in such a hard position and we are all going to look for ways to connect with someone which makes it hard for male cops. I really really feel for them. And agree they were incredibly kind for her and took far more time than I would expect law enforcement to do honeslty

The more we say "Aw, shucks, they did the best they could" the more things will never change. Law enforcement need bias training and mental health training. They need to have independent mental health coordinators to review the footage and go over it with them so they can improve. People have been adept at reading his behavior from the video, and instead of being defensive, they should want to learn from it. Especially since we now know how it turns out.

And, no this is not a rant on policing. It's saying that while most have good intentions, those intentions are not enough. They need updated skills and training.

People have been adept at reading his behavior with the hindsight of knowing that she was missing and it was likely his fault. That's a very different circumstance than when you're confronted with it in the field. I do agree though that more training is really necessary. And that videos like this could be helpful in that training (with analysis by DV experts, not armchair internet quarterbacks.)

The problem is though, that even if they realized he was a controlling, potentially abusive ahole, what were they supposed to do that specific day? She wouldn't press charges or say he hurt her. There was no evidence that he hurt her. They had her talk to her parents and they had them separate for the night. They can't arrest him for being a controlling, manipulative jerk. So what is the answer in this kind of situation (and I ask that as a real question, not a rhetorical one)? The only thing I can think of is to try and get her to a situation where she speaks with a social worker or DV counselor who might be able to help her realize she's not in a safe or healthy situation. But you can't force an adult to do that, right? And leaving a DV situation is not usually a realization people come to quickly, especially when they may not be in the best mental health and have been conditioned to blame themselves for things.

I disagree with the first bolded. People recognized it without knowing what had happened yet. There is some predictability in behavior, i.e. many serial killers first killed animals.

I don't know what the answer is because I'm not an expert. But, I am guessing there are many experts out there would love to consult and create training programs.

She was already missing and the BF had lawyered up. The video is viewed through the lens that of course he harmed her (as these cases always go). Your bias was already there upon viewing it the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's just so sad. Ugh

She was lovely. He seems like a normal guy. A bit weird but like a million other sons, brothers, boyfriends. But he killed another human. Insane. It kind of makes me think about what we're all capable of

He spent the whole video trying to charm the police and worried about himself. Just like Chris Watts. If that’s a ‘million other sons, brothers, boyfriends’ and husbands - what does that say?

His interactions with the cops when she was still alive and they were pulled over were very similar to Chris Watts interactions. Uncanny, really, comparing their behavior.

Bet those cops feel absolutely terrible.

Perhaps.

But if any of the lunatic things said on this thread are any indication they probably don't.

+1000. I stopped reading this thread for a while because of outlandish theories proposed on here (mainly because they saw the video and thought she had anxiety).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any chance he just left her after they had another fight, and she died in the elements?

I can’t roll my eyes hard enough at this. Why do you all want to believe that he didn’t kill this young woman? Why?

Because none of us want to believe that our fiancés or husbands are capable of killing us. That a guy we’ve down for a decade or more (it sounds like?), that we love and trust, whose family we love and trust, would murder us and leave us deep in the woods and drive away like nothing happened. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around too. It’s horrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any chance he just left her after they had another fight, and she died in the elements?

No. If you watch the video from Red White and Bethune, they come across her van on the side of the road. Her body was found near there.

[Anonymous]

It looks like her remains have been found. 😕

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/body-matching-the-description-of-gabby-petito-found/