Should I Call CPS on Husband

[Anonymous]

I'm at wits end with my husband’s methods of physical discipline. There is entirely too much yelling & screaming in our house and I’m fed up with him putting his hands on them as punishment. Some examples: slapping back of child’s head (sometimes repeatedly), yanking kid up by arm, pulling ear tightly and talking directly into ear, and spanking bare bottom until red marks. Kids are 8 and 5.

He does not think he is doing anything wrong. When I complain he basically says “I’m not hurting them, and I will discipline my kids!”

[Anonymous]

Yes. What you’re describing is abusive, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Call CPS now. Talk it through with them. They decide if they will pick up a case. Your number one job is to keep your children safe. It is not to protect their father. It is to keep them safe. To not call means you’re putting his needs and your own above your kids’. They cannot defend themselves. This is why you have to call.

[Anonymous]

Calling CPS invites the government into your family, permanently. You will lose control over what happens. Absent immediate physical danger to the kids, I would try every measure short of that first, including counseling, intervention with the help of parents or friends, etc.

[Anonymous]

Depends on state. Not abusive in Maryland. A parent can discipline as they want in Maryland. Even put a loaded gun to a child’s head in Maryland. I was told to my face by 2 cps workers and a judge in a court room it’s not abuse.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned enough to contact CPS, or to speak with a mandated reporter for suspected child abuse, such as a health care provider or someone at your child’s school. What you’re describing sounds like your husband is lashing out in anger in scary and unpredictable ways. Physical abuse and emotional abuse both need to be addressed.




https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/child-abuse.html
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on state. Not abusive in Maryland. A parent can discipline as they want in Maryland. Even put a loaded gun to a child’s head in Maryland. I was told to my face by 2 cps workers and a judge in a court room it’s not abuse.

My experience working in Baltimore strongly suggests that this is NOT true. A parent putting a loaded gun to a child’s head would most likely end up in jail.

I say this as someone who was a mandated reporter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Calling CPS invites the government into your family, permanently. You will lose control over what happens. Absent immediate physical danger to the kids, I would try every measure short of that first, including counseling, intervention with the help of parents or friends, etc.

Only if she gives her name and address. Anyone can call CPS and talk it through. They can explain what resources are available.

If OP could have intervened already, don’t you think she would have done so already? Clearly someone who is asking needs support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on state. Not abusive in Maryland. A parent can discipline as they want in Maryland. Even put a loaded gun to a child’s head in Maryland. I was told to my face by 2 cps workers and a judge in a court room it’s not abuse.

My experience working in Baltimore strongly suggests that this is NOT true. A parent putting a loaded gun to a child’s head would most likely end up in jail.

I say this as someone who was a mandated reporter.

I guess if you have millions of dollars you can bribe your way out of anything. But that’s what I was told .

[Anonymous]

You need to protect your kids. CPS is not the answer, you need to leave and take the kids with you. File for divorce, how can you be married to someone like this? A 10 yo boy in Harlem just died from serious child abuse. It didn’t just start at that level of abuse, it built up over time........

[Anonymous]

Tell him I want both of you to go to a therapist or parenting class. If he refuses you need to really think how you want these kids lives to be and make changes. Your job is to protect them. What kind of memories does he want them to have of him. My Dad died when I was 11. He wasn’t abusive but was strict and my memories of him are not great. I try to keep that in mind when parenting my own kids.

[Anonymous]

They can take the kids. If they don't, they may require you to leave him in order for you to keep the kids, so why not just leave him and not include CPS in your life?

Even if you don't think it requires removal, once CPS is there they call the shots, not you. Do you want 1 hour of supervised visitation with your kids a week while a social worker watches you, and a CPS investigation on your and your husband's record? If you are at this point, you have broken trust already. Get a divorce.

[Anonymous]

No op why would you do that? Do you want yoir kids taken away? Leave this man, but what he’s doing probably isn’t illegal, though it is very damaging to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Um, they might take your kids away. Why don’t you move out and take the kids. Document abuse, with pictures, and get full custody.

[Anonymous]

If she divorces him, and they split custody, then 50% of the time she has ZERO control over how he treats the kids.

At least living together she can provide some protection