Should I Call CPS on Husband

[Anonymous]

Maryland law on child discipline



Maryland statute section 4-501(b)(2) provides, “[n]othing in this subtitle shall be construed to prohibit reasonable punishment, including reasonable corporal punishment, in light of the age and condition of the child, from being performed by a parent or stepparent of the child.” (emphasis added).om being performed by a parent or stepparent of the child.”

https://www.fdfamilylaw.com/blog/2017/april/child-custody-and-child-abuse-in-the-state-of-ma/#:~:text=Maryland%20statute%20section%204%2D501,.%E2%80%9D%20(emphasis%20added).

[Anonymous]

Here we go with all the mandated reporters

[Anonymous]

Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good suggestions in this thread.

1. If you involve CPS you are inviting people with guns (or backed up by people with guns) into your house to decide how your family is going to live. They do not answer to you. They are not going to advocate for you. They may decide you’re at fault. CPS is for situations where kids have no one else to act in their favor. Your kids have you.

2. Your husband has a severe mental disorder. He is dangerous, to the kids and to you. He clearly got some very bad ideas from somewhere about how to treat children. Any kind of physical “discipline” beyond maybe a light swat on a padded behind in toddlerhood is inadmissible. Pulling down a child’s pants is inadmissible.

3. Only you can decide if your husband will listen to reason, see a professional, get appropriate medicine, get therapy, or not. If he won’t, it’s time for somebody to leave.

4. Gathering evidence may be a good idea but check the eavesdropping statute in your jurisdiction (one party or two party consent) and get legal advice before you act.

5. Act decisively, because if you are weak or quibble he will roll right over top of you. In this context, people use the excuse of staying with the abuser “to protect the kids.” Most often it’s to protect the non-abusing spouse who’s afraid to leave.

CPS workers don't have guns.

No, but the police officer(s) that accompany the CPS worker to your home does.

You realize how rare it is for a CPS worker to get a police officer to go out to a house and you know how hard it is to get one to go with you (been there, done that).

Refuse them entry. Push them off your porch. The men with guns will be along shortly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

The bolded is not an excuse in his case. OP has repeatedly told him to stop. He should have done some research by now. Any research would quickly lead him to concluding that his actions are not acceptable in this society. He has some serious issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good suggestions in this thread.

1. If you involve CPS you are inviting people with guns (or backed up by people with guns) into your house to decide how your family is going to live. They do not answer to you. They are not going to advocate for you. They may decide you’re at fault. CPS is for situations where kids have no one else to act in their favor. Your kids have you.

2. Your husband has a severe mental disorder. He is dangerous, to the kids and to you. He clearly got some very bad ideas from somewhere about how to treat children. Any kind of physical “discipline” beyond maybe a light swat on a padded behind in toddlerhood is inadmissible. Pulling down a child’s pants is inadmissible.

3. Only you can decide if your husband will listen to reason, see a professional, get appropriate medicine, get therapy, or not. If he won’t, it’s time for somebody to leave.

4. Gathering evidence may be a good idea but check the eavesdropping statute in your jurisdiction (one party or two party consent) and get legal advice before you act.

5. Act decisively, because if you are weak or quibble he will roll right over top of you. In this context, people use the excuse of staying with the abuser “to protect the kids.” Most often it’s to protect the non-abusing spouse who’s afraid to leave.

CPS workers don't have guns.

No, but the police officer(s) that accompany the CPS worker to your home does.

You realize how rare it is for a CPS worker to get a police officer to go out to a house and you know how hard it is to get one to go with you (been there, done that).

Refuse them entry. Push them off your porch. The men with guns will be along shortly.

No, I meant getting a police officer escort as a social worker. And, when you do, they police push you to go in first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

The bolded is not an excuse in his case. OP has repeatedly told him to stop. He should have done some research by now. Any research would quickly lead him to concluding that his actions are not acceptable in this society. He has some serious issues.

In child welfare, most of the head of household are women, not men. Most parents parent like they were parented. OP isn't saying what her style is but it may be equally abusive. Most parents yell. Most parents hit their kids. If CPS removed every child from those situations, most kids would be in care. Its BAD parenting, but it isn't crossing the line of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

The bolded is not an excuse in his case. OP has repeatedly told him to stop. He should have done some research by now. Any research would quickly lead him to concluding that his actions are not acceptable in this society. He has some serious issues.

He doesn't have to obey OP's commands. Just like she doesn't have to obey his, and parent the way he wants her to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

The bolded is not an excuse in his case. OP has repeatedly told him to stop. He should have done some research by now. Any research would quickly lead him to concluding that his actions are not acceptable in this society. He has some serious issues.

In child welfare, most of the head of household are women, not men. Most parents parent like they were parented. OP isn't saying what her style is but it may be equally abusive. Most parents yell. Most parents hit their kids. If CPS removed every child from those situations, most kids would be in care. Its BAD parenting, but it isn't crossing the line of abuse.

What op describes goes well beyond the normal range even for families that use corporal punishment. Repeatedly hitting very young children on the head is not normal nor widely culturally accepted. It’s entirely different than a “swat on the butt” (which is bad parenting but typical in some subcultures.)

[Anonymous]

NP. I had a similar situation (but no verbal abuse to child).

My ex-narc abandoned his child for over a year, refused any provision of medical, dental, education, clothing, housing, transportation. I was too afraid to file anything legally because I did not understand the system and had limited resources at the time.

I took my child to an urgent care appointment the next morning, for a check up. I told the pediatrician my concern and asked for referrals to a pediatric counselor. I also articulated concerns with the principal and main teacher (not all of the staff) so they would be on the lookout for resporting and identifying behavioral changes.

I tried to find a space safe for my child to have an advocate away from me, and also away from the negligent/abusive parent -- but in a way that it didnt trigger an escalation to the situation at home or pertaining to my child's guardianship. The person who said it is like working with an ex spouse hit the nail on the head.

Ultimately, my ex's behavior made the judge assign a guardian ad litem. My steps were viewed as supportive not just for the child, but also for what was a clear demonstration to not block access to the child. Later that worked in my favor because it was a strong argyment against parental alienation (which is what the dirty scumbag tried to argue so he wouldnt pay child support).

I'm sorry your child is experiencing this, and I hope you find a safe path to navigate and resolve this situation. It isn't sustainable, and you both deserve stability and security in the home where you lay to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

The bolded is not an excuse in his case. OP has repeatedly told him to stop. He should have done some research by now. Any research would quickly lead him to concluding that his actions are not acceptable in this society. He has some serious issues.

He doesn't have to obey OP's commands. Just like she doesn't have to obey his, and parent the way he wants her to.

OP can step up and handle the discipline. I would suspect she doesn't do much and then dad over does it to get things under control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I had a similar situation (but no verbal abuse to child).

My ex-narc abandoned his child for over a year, refused any provision of medical, dental, education, clothing, housing, transportation. I was too afraid to file anything legally because I did not understand the system and had limited resources at the time.

I took my child to an urgent care appointment the next morning, for a check up. I told the pediatrician my concern and asked for referrals to a pediatric counselor. I also articulated concerns with the principal and main teacher (not all of the staff) so they would be on the lookout for resporting and identifying behavioral changes.

I tried to find a space safe for my child to have an advocate away from me, and also away from the negligent/abusive parent -- but in a way that it didnt trigger an escalation to the situation at home or pertaining to my child's guardianship. The person who said it is like working with an ex spouse hit the nail on the head.

Ultimately, my ex's behavior made the judge assign a guardian ad litem. My steps were viewed as supportive not just for the child, but also for what was a clear demonstration to not block access to the child. Later that worked in my favor because it was a strong argyment against parental alienation (which is what the dirty scumbag tried to argue so he wouldnt pay child support).

I'm sorry your child is experiencing this, and I hope you find a safe path to navigate and resolve this situation. It isn't sustainable, and you both deserve stability and security in the home where you lay to sleep.

You are blocking all contact. That is parental alienation. Even a bad parent should get contact with their kid. If you took away his parental rights, you should be 100% responsible for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

The bolded is not an excuse in his case. OP has repeatedly told him to stop. He should have done some research by now. Any research would quickly lead him to concluding that his actions are not acceptable in this society. He has some serious issues.

In child welfare, most of the head of household are women, not men. Most parents parent like they were parented. OP isn't saying what her style is but it may be equally abusive. Most parents yell. Most parents hit their kids. If CPS removed every child from those situations, most kids would be in care. Its BAD parenting, but it isn't crossing the line of abuse.

What op describes goes well beyond the normal range even for families that use corporal punishment. Repeatedly hitting very young children on the head is not normal nor widely culturally accepted. It’s entirely different than a “swat on the butt” (which is bad parenting but typical in some subcultures.)

OP made one post with no other explanations. Others are jumping to conclusions. Most parents in the US use the same discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP should go to a parenting therapist and then she could report all the therapist says to the husband including the possible consequences.

It is possible that the husband is oblivious to what can and will happen so he HARSHLY overdisciplining the kids to everyone detriment.

This is not going to end well for the kids, the parents, the whole family as a unit.

Also many guys have NO concept of what is right and wrong way to discipline kids, and they have
zero concept of child development and have no concept of disciplining.

They should take some parenting class pronto! to learn the RIGHT ways to discipline kids.

There is a need to discipline if boundaries are crossed, but the discipline needs to be fair, and age appropriate and not abusive.

The difference between discipline and abuse is that abuse is "cruel and unusual" discipline.


What good is to discipline kids to the point of hating parents so much and throwing away all the
love and parental work? Put well being of children first!

OP, can also go to parental class herself to learn proper ways and techniques of age appropriate
discipline and then she will speak to the husband from the place of knowing per being
educated if just a normal mothering is not enough for him.

The bolded is not an excuse in his case. OP has repeatedly told him to stop. He should have done some research by now. Any research would quickly lead him to concluding that his actions are not acceptable in this society. He has some serious issues.

Of course it is NOT an excuse, it is just shading the light on the WHY he needs to be educated.

[Anonymous]

See a lawyer before doing anything.

Therapy or a divorce for you both and him independently.