Girlfriend Wants A Break

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of a little over a year decided she wants a break. We have been talking about marriage but I don’t see the rush to get engaged. We have only been together for a little over a year. We had a big talk about it over the weekend after one of our recently friends got engaged. She told me that she loves me but does want to wait another year to get engaged, and then another year to get married. She wants to take a break and think about things and decide if she sees herself staying in the relationship. I think she is taking things too far. I’m very worried I’m going to lose her. I don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Do you want to marry her? If not, then let her go.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? If 25, she’s being unreasonable. If she’s 30x she’s being a bit pushy but not crazy. If 35, she’s absolutely right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to marry her? If not, then let her go.

OP here. Yes. I’m very in love with her and plan on proposing sometime this year. I just don’t see the rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? If 25, she’s being unreasonable. If she’s 30x she’s being a bit pushy but not crazy. If 35, she’s absolutely right.

OP here. She’s 31 and I’m 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to marry her? If not, then let her go.

OP here. Yes. I’m very in love with her and plan on proposing sometime this year. I just don’t see the rush.

How old are the two of you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? If 25, she’s being unreasonable. If she’s 30x she’s being a bit pushy but not crazy. If 35, she’s absolutely right.

OP here. She’s 31 and I’m 35.

Do you want kids? Are you aware that 35-year-old pregnant women are labeled "advanced maternal age"? (She may be well aware of this fact.)

[Anonymous]

If you are very worried you are going to lose her think about what that means about how you feel. Do you have a history of commitment phobia? Do you see yourself getting married TO HER? YOu have only been dating this covid year? It's not a normal year to get your bearing in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are very worried you are going to lose her think about what that means about how you feel. Do you have a history of commitment phobia? Do you see yourself getting married TO HER? YOu have only been dating this covid year? It's not a normal year to get your bearing in a relationship.

^^ I read above that you see yourself proposing this year. Tell her that she is for you, that you see yourself getting married to her, that you want to propose to her this year, and that you would be OK with a shorter engagement. This is reasonable, but don't tell her this if you have gotten to this stage before only to get freaked out and walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? If 25, she’s being unreasonable. If she’s 30x she’s being a bit pushy but not crazy. If 35, she’s absolutely right.

OP here. She’s 31 and I’m 35.

Do you want kids? Are you aware that 35-year-old pregnant women are labeled "advanced maternal age"? (She may be well aware of this fact.)

OP here. We both want kids. She has told me she wants to wait another 4-5 years before having kids. She’s not ready but wants them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to marry her? If not, then let her go.

OP here. Yes. I’m very in love with her and plan on proposing sometime this year. I just don’t see the rush.

The rush is that you might lose her. If you're going to do it anyway, just do it now.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned that you had only been together a little over a year 2x, so I think you feel you need more time together before making a major commitment. OP, how do you feel about moving in together or are you already living together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are very worried you are going to lose her think about what that means about how you feel. Do you have a history of commitment phobia? Do you see yourself getting married TO HER? YOu have only been dating this covid year? It's not a normal year to get your bearing in a relationship.

OP here. I don’t have any commitment issues. I plan on marrying her. Most of our relationship has been during the pandemic. I want to wait a little longer because we won’t even be able to plan a wedding anyway with the pandemic. I also want her to be able to meet my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned that you had only been together a little over a year 2x, so I think you feel you need more time together before making a major commitment. OP, how do you feel about moving in together or are you already living together?

OP here. We have been living together since the beginning of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are very worried you are going to lose her think about what that means about how you feel. Do you have a history of commitment phobia? Do you see yourself getting married TO HER? YOu have only been dating this covid year? It's not a normal year to get your bearing in a relationship.

OP here. I don’t have any commitment issues. I plan on marrying her. Most of our relationship has been during the pandemic. I want to wait a little longer because we won’t even be able to plan a wedding anyway with the pandemic. I also want her to be able to meet my family.

What country are you from?