Husband won’t get a vasectomy
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Anonymous
| My husband and I are at an odds with him getting a vasectomy. We have two beautiful kids and I’m done. I’ve always said I wanted 2-3 kids but two is perfect for us. There are a lot of reasons I think staying at two kids makes sense - age, career, time, etc. I’m 38 and it’s really hard balancing work with equal time for both kids. My husband is very involved and we split most things 50/50. He’s a great father. He wants to leave the door open to a third but I know a third child is not an option. I want him to get a vasectomy but he wants to wait another 1-2 years until I’m sure. He hates using protection and I don’t like being on BC. I don’t really know how to come to an agreement on this. |
Anonymous
| Get your tubes tied. He should man up and get snipped, but if he won’t, you take care of you. |
Anonymous
| Well, if you are the one who really doesn't want kids, it makes sense for you to do the bc? Or just protection if you are both willing. You can't force a person to get perm. birth control. Sounds like he just needs a little more time. |
Anonymous
OP here. Getting my tubes tied is more of an invasive procedure than getting a vasectomy. |
Anonymous
OP here. I can’t do BC because I’ve had very bad side effects to most of the ones I tried. They also ruin hour natural hormones and it can mess things up once you get off of them. My husband hates using condoms. I love sex so withholding sex is not an option. I find it be very immature and not healthy for a marriage. I think he needs to get a vasectomy. |
Anonymous
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Did you have 2 girls and he wanted one of each?
I also wasn't interested in shutting that door before I was 40, although I know vasectomies can be reversed. |
Anonymous
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You either stay on birth control.
He wears a condom ( I think this is the fairest solution time for him to take some responsibility for the birth control) You don't have sex. |
Anonymous
| Get an iud. |
Anonymous
My dh doesn’t want more kids but doesn’t want a vasectomy either. I don’t do well on BCps so we use condoms exclusively. It doesn’t bother me. I figure if he wants sex without a condom, he’ll get a vasectomy eventually 
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Anonymous
| Ha - I could have written this! After our 2nd, my husband didn't outright refuse a vasectomy, just never got around to scheduling it. I couldn't go on BC for similar reasons. And I now have 3 kids. |
Anonymous
| Tell him to use a condom or get a vasectomy. |
Anonymous
Withholding sex and declining sex without birth control are 2 different things. Your only other option is natural family planning, That's it. You're 38, way too old for magical thinking. Which I don't want to do this. He doesn't want to do that, But some how magically I'm going to get what I want is, |
Anonymous
| Reluctant at 40 to get a vasectomy means he's planning to leave you at 50 for a 25 year old who will want a baby. Instead of worrying about BC you should be making sure you're prepared for a divorce. |
Anonymous
Did he eventually get that vasectomy? |
Anonymous
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My DH was planning to get a vasectomy years ago and then backed out last minute. It seemed to give him a lot of anxiety (which was not really typical for him). I basically decided that I wasn’t going to force medical procedures on anyone. I wouldn’t like it if he told me what to do with my body, so I applied the same standard.
Get an IUD or try a few BC pills. There are so many nowadays and they are low dose. It’s not like it was 25 years ago. |