Husband won’t get a vasectomy
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Anonymous
Getting your tubes tied is major surgery. Getting snipped is much safe and easier. |
Anonymous
Oh, well. You are SOL my friend. What do you want us all to say -- force your husband to get a vasectomy?? |
Anonymous
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FYI, I think the solution of not going on BC, not demanding a vasectomy, not getting your tubes tied ... is condoms and natural family planning. It isn't difficult, it won't kill anybody, and condoms aren't that bad. If he really hates them, he gets a vasectomy.
I wouldn't do hormonal birth control pills, either. Not for me. we used condoms until dh eventually got a vasectomy (after an oops) |
Anonymous
Yes, we are all aware of that. The issue here isn't that you both agree that you are done having kids but he doesn't want to take responsibility for birth control. He would like another child and you do not. The options are a compromise - you continue BC for a year and if you feel the same he gets a vasectomy, or you take the responsibility on yourself. |
Anonymous
Then don’t have sex unless he’s wearing a condom. His choice. Condom, vasectomy or no sex. |
Anonymous
PP is just ignorant. Many women can’t take hormonal bc for health reasons. I am a woman with four daughters - none of us can do hormonal bc due to an inherited blood condition. So it’s not “easy breezy.” |
Anonymous
Yeah why more people don't know about NFP options like the Billings method always surprises me. Even if you want to be ultra "careful" with it, some sex is better than none! |
Anonymous
That's rare. Most women CAN use birth control. She just doesn't want to. There are also IUDs without hormones, diaphrams, etc. |
Anonymous
This. Get a copper IUD if you don't want hormones. You can keep it in for up to 10 yrs. But you should only need it another couple yrs. By then it should be pretty clear if a third child is still in play. |
Anonymous
| I was going to get a vasectomy but freaked out when the doctor started talking about side effects and problems. I backed out. My wife was not happy and rents me since she has to keep taking birth control. I can’t help how I feel, even though it is selfish. |
Anonymous
Hmmm. This is very different than most "my husband won't get a vasectomy" posts because HE is not confident he doesn't want a third child - it's not just like fear of the procedure. I do not think it's fair to push him to give up his fertility when he thinks he might want another child, even if you're sure. I mean, asking, fine, but I would not push this right now. I think if I were you, I would probably get something really effective and give him a couple of years before bringing it up again. Maybe like a non-hormonal IUD (isn't that a thing?) Seems worth a conversation with your OB/GYN about options - there are niche birth control options that aren't very popular that might be a good fit for you - like maybe a diaphragm? I also think, particularly if you have to go with something that doesn't have a super high efficacy, it's very reasonable to say he has to wear a condom then. Additionally - it's worth a conversation about what you would do if you became pregnant unexpectedly. If the answer is that you would have an abortion, I think that's worth disclosing now. If you wouldn't, a discussion about the fact that you might end up really resentful of him in that situation might also be reasonable. |
Anonymous
DP. People like you are not helpful. Did you not read the OP? If she has reasons for avoiding BC, that's that. To the OP: give him the choice, condoms every time or vasectomy. You cannot force him to undergo a medical procedure, but you are the one who has to go through a pregnancy, so you can demand a condom every time. |
Anonymous
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OP, I’m usually a “get him snipped” person, but that’s when both parents agree no more children. In this case, if I were your, I’d probably consider an IUD (copper IUD) or IUS (like Mirena) for a set amount of time, like until you’re 40. Yea, it still changes YOUR body, but not to the degree that OCs would, but with a good success rate.
You could consider other methods, even condoms, but the risk becomes higher. No cot slays wins, but that doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be communication and compromise. |
Anonymous
He can use a condom. Problem solved. |
Anonymous
| Only sailors use condoms, baby! |