Would marry someone who's cheap?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I'm dating someone who I think is fabulous. We have so much fun together, GREAT sex, are compatible in a lot of ways. One issue is that he's cheap. This scares me. I think it will become an issue down the road. I'm financially responsible, and at the same time enjoy luxuries. He on the other hand is flat out cheap! He constantly comments on the cost of things and how he doesn't want to pay for stuff. Could be something as inexpensive as $2. Anyone married to a cheap spouse? How is it? |
Anonymous
|
You can't marry this person. Sorry.
$2? Nope. |
Anonymous
| What's his income and what's his background? It's common for people who come from low- or modest-income backgrounds to stay in that mindset for a while. If he's not yet making comfortable money, or if he's been making comfortable money for not very long, that could be it. Have you asked him about it? |
Anonymous
|
Good at economizing, budgeting, money management, and responsible is a big plus
Cheap, stingy, not generous to others including his SO—dealbreaker |
Anonymous
| I’m the cheap one in my marriage. It’s a point of tension for sure. Pay attention to if it’s a true difference in values, vs just disagreeing if Starbucks is a “rip off.” |
Anonymous
|
I think it’s worth having a conversation about it before ending it. Does he comment on the price but still buy things? My FIL likes to complain that gas/milk/etc is so expensive, but he still buys it.
If you are young and thinking of having kids, I would definitely be cautious, in case you end up staying home and having to fight with him about ‘his’ money. If you don’t want kids and have an established career, it may matter less because you can do what you want with your own money. I remember my parents getting into huge fights about money, my dad was cheap and my mom liked to spend. They would be at each other’s throats over $15. They got divorced, but get along great now that they don’t have to share finances. It isn’t that he is wrong and you are right or vise versa, but you do want to have balance. Spending the rest of your life justifying the $15 face wash vs the $.50 dial soap will be miserable. |
Anonymous
| Cheap or stingy? You can fix/work on cheap, but not stingy. Agree that it could be his background. Definitely something to address. If you are thinking of getting married, definitely get premarital counseling--money is almost always one of the topics. |
Anonymous
| It seems like it's a problem for him. He can't handle spending money. The problem is taking over. |
Anonymous
| I would consider it so long as we had our finances carefully structured: x amount joint the rest divvied into personal slush funds over which partner has no say. I just wouldn't want to lose the ability to treat myself using my own funds. |
Anonymous
What about being able to agree on major purchases like a home? If $2 burns his butt imagine a more substantial purchase. |
Anonymous
Heh I'm glad you think so too. 5 dollars for a cup of coffee ? Rip off. All I get is water. |
Anonymous
I'm cheap but I'm looking into investments and major purchases carefully |
Anonymous
| Is it cheap rooted in financial anxiety? Example: husband says you can't have kids/ go on vacation/ even retire b/c you haven't saved enough (but enough is an ever increasing #) |
Anonymous
| You should discuss this with him. This behavior usually gets worse as people age. |
Anonymous
| Well obviously it depends on what the $2 is for! Everyone here is acting like he should just automatically spend $2 on something because it’s ONLY $2!!! Well if it’s a $2 pack of gum, then nope, that’s a rip-off! If it’s $2 extra on the tip, then he’s cheap. |