Would marry someone who's cheap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context...I am a very frugal person, however I am not cheap. I like quality items that in the end are economical because they last longer. I buy lots of stuff used to save money. I rather have a used high quality item than a new low quality item, and spend les for it.

With respect to my boyfriend here are examples of his cheapness. When he takes me out to dinner he complains about prices. Says things like....are you sure you want to order that? Do you NEED an app/dessert? If the waiter offers me something he declines before I have a chance to say whether I want it or not. If we order takeout and I want extra something say sauce and they charge for it, he grumbles. If I want to go to the movies at night sometimes, he complains because it costs more.

I don’t know exactly how much he makes but it’s six figures.

I think it’s a little odd that every time you go out to dinner you expect him to pay for a 3 course meal, unless you are taking turns paying and your are offering the same to him. Two entree and drinks can cost $100 for one night - adding two appetizers and dessert and more drinks can take it into the $200 range. I don’t think that women should just expect their boyfriend to spend $150-200 per week on dates, which can happen if you are going out more than once per week.

That’s funny about takeout and extra condiments. I’m totally like that - we have ketchup at home, don’t ask for ketchup we need to pay for! My DH gets annoyed w me because we have a high HHI. Agree it’s a difference in approach that you have to compromise on. I’ve learned to not harass DH when he pays extra for condiments, but he’s learned I’m not going to order them.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I wouldn't marry someone like that, but others might. The only question that matters is does it bother you? If it does, then you have your answer. The fact that it might not bother others is a moot point, because they're not the ones thinking of marrying the guy. It doesn't make him a bad person, by the way, it just means you may not be compatible, and that's ok. But better to figure that out before you get married and especially before you have kids.

[Anonymous]

You will regret marrying this person.

[Anonymous]

I dated someone cheap. It gets embarrassing. Imagine standing next to your date at a movie theater kiosk when he first tries to use an expired student ID and when it does not work, proceeds to claim to be a senior citizen—all that while being a VP at 36 years of age. Sex was good, he was funny and kind, but the cheapness and seeing the length he’d go to save a dollar or two just killed all the initial attraction.