DH brought home a 4 month old puppy from hell!
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Anonymous
| My DH brought home a HUGE BREED puppy(without my consent) who will get well over 100lbs and it’s been a complete upheaval in our once tranquil life. It’s been a few months now and the dog has only gotten worse; chasing our cats, ear piercing bark, constant destruction of anything in her path, sleepless nights. I suggested doggie daycare to release some of her energy but he refuses. I’m so annoyed and resentful of the poor animal because I wasn’t involved in the decision. DH keeps saying she’ll calm down. I said sure in about 5 yrs! My DH has zero energy at his age and can’t give this dog the kind of exercise she needs. I even bought a 50’ lead leash to tie to a tree so all he needs to do is literally stand there and throw a ball. But he won’t even do that. DH finally apologized to me about bringing this dog into our lives without my consent and admitted it was a mistake but refuses to rehome her. I know it’s only to save face from all his social media posts of her. This has caused such a strain in our marriage. Our once peaceful dinners have now turned into him yelling at her, if he crates her she goes nuts barking, constantly getting up from dinner table to get her under control etc... What the hell can I do besides popping a handful of valium to keep myself from feeling more and more resentful of both of them?! I’ve actually thought of adopting 2 yr old twins to get even! Ha joking of course. |
Anonymous
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I would give him an ultimatum - pony up the cash for board and train and doggy da care or rehome. Otherwise I rehome myself.
Good luck (and I do love dogs!) |
Anonymous
| This is a DH problem, not a puppy problem! |
Anonymous
| How long have you two been married? |
Anonymous
| Puppies are trainable. If your DH won't do it, you arrange for a trainer.to come. That is only way you get your life back. |
Anonymous
| What breed? That does make a difference, at least to me. Dogo Argentino, out, Dalmatian out, Mastiff out? Some regular big dog, I would train myself. |
Anonymous
This is your answer, OP. People who don’t check with their spouse about such a big impact on their home life get very limited choices in how to fix the problem. Have this discussion today: “It’s either training & daycare or I will re-home the dog. Those are the only two option here. Which one do you choose?” |
Anonymous
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This is cruel to the dog and that's what I'd focus on when talking to him. All the dog's behaviors are acting out from lack of training and exercise. This dog is miserable.
If the dog is "returnable" then do that. DH can eat crow on social media. The dog is young and has time to find another family. If not, then I think you should send the dog to training (can be at a daycare or more professional) and also DH must commit to a certain amount of daily exercise (can be a paid walker) and daily attention (must be DH). Attention includes petting, grooming, playing, training practice, etc. Dogs are social, they can't just be there unobtrusively with no interaction. The first year or two are difficult and he will settle down with time as well as the training and exercise mentioned. A possible third option, depending on the breed -- can you have him trained for a special purpose like search and rescue? Maybe your DH would feel better about it if instead of giving up the dog he is donating a talented and trained animal to a special purpose organization. But you would want to work closely with the organization from day 1 to make sure they are interested. |
Anonymous
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Rehome. Start building your case now. Document the destruction on FB.
We had to rehome a cat once. I went to social media early with please for help to solve her behavioral issues. By the time I agreed to rehome, FB had already told me to rehome her for six months. |
Anonymous
We have a trainer who comes once a week but it’s absolutely a waste of money when you don’t follow thru with what he suggests! |
Anonymous
| Thirding board and train. Expensive, but so being miserable. |
Anonymous
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We have friends who rehomed their puppy. They just did not realize what it really meant for their lives. It was a hard choice for them - more so socially as it was the next step that all their friends were doing. Relationship - puppy - kids. And acknowledging that it was not for them was really hard.
Your DH has acknowledged this was a bad decision. Now it is time to talk about the future. What do you want your life to look like? If you can't talk about acknowledging mistakes and making changes over this, how are you going to talk about bigger things together? |
Anonymous
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Let me get this straight. Your DH brought home a dog with zero plan on who would care for it, who would train it, walk it, feed it, love it. He yells at the dog all the time because he thinks the dog magically knows how to behave.
It's not going to get better unless you step up to the plate and do right by the poor dog, or you insist DH step up to the plate. It doesn't sound like your DH is willing to step up to the plate. Rehome the poor baby now, while she's still young. There are rescue groups that are breed specific, i.e., Swiss Mountain Dog rescue, or Great Pyrenees rescue. They will take her, and find a great new home for her. She will have a shot at a good life this way. |
Anonymous
| You need to train the dog!!! |
Anonymous
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If your DH won't train the dog and you want peace back in your life, then you need to suck it up and step in and do what it takes. It is fine for one person to be the one that primarily does the puppy training and, while it really sucks since you didn't want a dog, it seems like there are no other options except for you to do it.
I have a dog that is over 100 pounds and for the first five years was a mass of energy. I know the craziness they can bring into your life. Only difference is that I was onboard with getting her. |