Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave
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Anonymous
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I'm due on March and we are discussing leave. I don't yet qualify for fmla at my job because I've been here less than a year. Talking to my boss about it after the holidays and very real possibility I can't return if they don't approve leave. It is what it is and we'll be ok financially of that happens.
My husband legitimately thinks I will need less than a week of leave. I'm flabbergasted and very upset. Help. Please send all the help and links and resources about recovery time and postpartum. I'm not willing to try and juggle a job at the expense of my firstborn daughter's first few months on this Earth. |
Anonymous
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What happens after your leave? Are you working from home with a nanny in the house?
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Anonymous
| You'll still be bleeding less than a week after giving birth! Have your midwife or obgyn talk to him and set him straight about the recovery of childbirth. |
Anonymous
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Is he trying to make you go back? Or more just pondering that women do go back after a week (sad but true fact about america - many many women are back within 1-2 weeks because they have no choice).
If he's just idiotically pondering don't worry about it, we all have a ton to learn when the reality of newbors hit. If he's trying to insist you go back b/c you only "need" a week, go to counseling b/c it sounds like a deeper problem of roles/finances etc |
Anonymous
| WTF. If you have a c-section you won’t be recovered by the first week. |
Anonymous
| You need to find a compromise to save your job. See if you qualify for unpaid leave under FMLA. Also CARES Act leave for families and caregivers should still be active but I don’t know what the rules are for activating. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like the husband is (rightfully) concerned about OP losing her job and therefore the family's second income. OP if your company won't approve leave and you'll be out of a job in March, maybe try to find something else before then? Obviously difficult while pregnant but might be worth a shot. |
Anonymous
And typically aren’t cleared to drive until 2 weeks postpartum with a c-section! |
Anonymous
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What do you mean “first few months”?
Your boss sucks. Your husband is delusional. |
Anonymous
| I...think you might have some bigger problems coming up than this alone. Has your husband been around babies before? Does he understand the work involved? |
Anonymous
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OP what type of job is this? Are you working from home? I have had three C sections and could not go back to work without a written doctors approval. Frankly, I thought I was good to go before them but I was worried about the baby.
How much time will your employer give you before firing you? |
Anonymous
Yeah some men who haven't been around babies can be delusional. Before our first was born and we were talking about care, DH who works from home said we didn't need to hire any help -- the baby would just sleep in a bassinet next to his desk and he was just going to give her a bottle once in a while. |
Anonymous
| Tell him you’ll ask your doctor when you are cleared to return to work. it won’t be in 7 days! Then don’t have more kids with your idiot husband. |
Anonymous
+1 Sounds to me like the leave thing is the tip of the iceberg. I'll bet he has NO idea what he's in for, and it's going to be a big, and very unpleasant surprise. Forget about resources - who does he know/like/trust, a dude, that is a decent dad, and has had a baby in the last... say, 3-5 years (any longer than that and you're looking at major rose colored glasses)? A friend, a brother? That's who he needs to talk to. |
Anonymous
| Will your DH be taking time off? Also, can't you go on disability or something for a few weeks? Do you have vacation saved up? Going back to work with a several week old baby at home would suck, but it's certainly not unheard of. |