Help me... Husband thinks I only need less than a week of leave

[Anonymous]

OP, did you post this on Reddit too? Because you come across as a real jerk there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF. If you have a c-section you won’t be recovered by the first week.

Newsflash, she won't be recovered a week after a vaginal birth either.

I had two natural births and both times I was told under no uncertain terms to remain in bed with my legs closed for one week. I could get up to go to the bathroom and shower, that's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you not eligible for disability? You should be able to get six weeks of unpaid disability.

?? OP does not qualify for federal FMLA. There may be a state analogue she qualifies for, but most laws I’m familiar with require a year on the job to qualify. There is no “unpaid disability” that covers everyone other than FMLA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF. If you have a c-section you won’t be recovered by the first week.

Newsflash, she won't be recovered a week after a vaginal birth either.

I had two natural births and both times I was told under no uncertain terms to remain in bed with my legs closed for one week. I could get up to go to the bathroom and shower, that's it.

This is not normal. Was this in the US?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you employed in DC? https://www.ebglaw.com/news/the-district-of-columbia-passes-the-nations-most-expansive-paid-family-and-medical-leave-law/

Yes, this.

that still has requirements for the time period worked, so may not apply.

[Anonymous]

If OP worked 12 weeks at the new job before getting pregnant and then has a baby at 40 weeks she will have reached a year and qualify for FMLA.

Some of you guys saying she should put the baby in daycare at 2-6 weeks during a global pandemic are insane. Literally insane. A fever in a newborn is a medical emergency requiring a spinal tap. I promise they will get ill the first week. Then Op is in the ER and taking leave she doesn’t have giving her baby a spinal tap. She can always get another job. She will have one child. You never ever get the time with them back. But whatever, prioritize work that she can do without because...what exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not eligible for disability? You should be able to get six weeks of unpaid disability.

?? OP does not qualify for federal FMLA. There may be a state analogue she qualifies for, but most laws I’m familiar with require a year on the job to qualify. There is no “unpaid disability” that covers everyone other than FMLA.

Yes, there is. It’s called the ADA. Pregnancy is covered and a leave of absence is considered a reasonable accommodation. She would only be covered for the period of time to medically recover.

[Anonymous]

I know someone that went back to work right away- but she had a night nurse as well as a daytime nanny so she was relatively well rested and able to do her job. I think she still worked from home. She was the main breadwinner and worked on commission so I think she wanted to do it to keep income flowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - how long has your husband been at his job? If longer than a year, then HE is eligible for FMLA and I suggest you propose he take the full 12 weeks off to care for the baby while you go back to work. See what that asshole says then.

THIS THIS THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF. If you have a c-section you won’t be recovered by the first week.

Newsflash, she won't be recovered a week after a vaginal birth either.

I had two natural births and both times I was told under no uncertain terms to remain in bed with my legs closed for one week. I could get up to go to the bathroom and shower, that's it.

This is not normal. Was this in the US?

Yeah what the heck. I was told the more activity I did the better I would feel. And I felt that was true. How did you care for your baby laying in bed? Who cooked for you? What about other children? That actually seems cruel to be forced into bed. I started attending moms groups the first week and I think it healed my mind.

[Anonymous]

I had an easy vaginal birth and felt okay (not great) physically afterward, but it definitely took longer than a week to get the hang of breastfeeding and I was hormonal and super emotional for weeks afterward. My brain was also foggy. I realized that for a couple months after I gave birth I couldn’t do math in my head. I couldn’t hold my concentration on numbers long enough to perform any mathematical operation. It scared me, but the ability eventually returned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF. If you have a c-section you won’t be recovered by the first week.

Newsflash, she won't be recovered a week after a vaginal birth either.

I had two natural births and both times I was told under no uncertain terms to remain in bed with my legs closed for one week. I could get up to go to the bathroom and shower, that's it.

This is not normal. Was this in the US?

Yeah what the heck. I was told the more activity I did the better I would feel. And I felt that was true. How did you care for your baby laying in bed? Who cooked for you? What about other children? That actually seems cruel to be forced into bed. I started attending moms groups the first week and I think it healed my mind.

DP, but there has to be a balance. I felt great after DD#2 was born back in May. It was a super easy vaginal delivery, no tearing, out of the hospital in 24 hours. I got home and went right back to caring for older DD, cooking, cleaning, etc, in addition to care for the baby. Pandemic, so of course no family help, and my DH went back to work after 3 days...then I ended up with very heavy bleeding and was put on bed rest for a week. It is possible to think you’re just fine and then overdo it, and women such as OP need to keep that in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not eligible for disability? You should be able to get six weeks of unpaid disability.

?? OP does not qualify for federal FMLA. There may be a state analogue she qualifies for, but most laws I’m familiar with require a year on the job to qualify. There is no “unpaid disability” that covers everyone other than FMLA.

Yes, there is. It’s called the ADA. Pregnancy is covered and a leave of absence is considered a reasonable accommodation. She would only be covered for the period of time to medically recover.

I'm pretty confident this is not true, and my googling seems to be backing me up. Unless something goes wrong, pregnancy is not generally covered by the ADA:

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/your-right-accommodation-during-pregnancy.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not eligible for disability? You should be able to get six weeks of unpaid disability.

?? OP does not qualify for federal FMLA. There may be a state analogue she qualifies for, but most laws I’m familiar with require a year on the job to qualify. There is no “unpaid disability” that covers everyone other than FMLA.

Yes, there is. It’s called the ADA. Pregnancy is covered and a leave of absence is considered a reasonable accommodation. She would only be covered for the period of time to medically recover.

I'm pretty confident this is not true, and my googling seems to be backing me up. Unless something goes wrong, pregnancy is not generally covered by the ADA:

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/your-right-accommodation-during-pregnancy.html

PP here - and I literally cannot find any mention of using the ADA to get time off AFTER giving birth. I'm confident this is not a thing.

It's very possible that, legally, she can be fired for not showing up at work the day after she delivers, unless her state offers some protections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, did you post this on Reddit too? Because you come across as a real jerk there.

You can't just post this without a link