Unplanned pregnancy at 38

[Anonymous]

I will be 39 in 2 months and am 8 weeks pregnant. I'm in a stable marriage and have 2 kids 8 and 4.5. This was not planned. I feel I'm too old, we both work full time abd life is very busy as it is. We don't have the bandwidth to add an infant to this. My oldest has inattentive ADHD and I worry that in addition to all the risks associated with age, this baby might also have some form of ADHD or autism. Its not the worst thing in the world but we just don't have the capability to raise a special needs child. I feel overwhelmed already. I should terminate this right?

Fwiw, I'm not Christian and I don't belive I'm killing a life yet. It is a feteus not a baby yet. But the possibility of a healthy baby and a wonderful addition to our family and I guess some rosy edition of this tugs at my heart. I know its not practical.

[Anonymous]

Our 3rd was not planned. Took me a long time to come to terms with the pregnancy and to wrap my head about the reality. Fast-forward to today: DC3 is a kick-in-the-pants, ray of sunshine that keeps us on our toes. It certainly is not practical on so many levels, but that makes DC no less of a gift each day.

[Anonymous]

If you only want a baby if it’s perfect and fits into your lifestyle it’s best if you don’t have another child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you only want a baby if it’s perfect and fits into your lifestyle it’s best if you don’t have another child.

That’s not fair, PP. OP has put herself out here in a very vulnerable position. Have some grace.

OP, I had my 3rd at 40. It was the right choice for me. For my closest friend, another child was not the right choice for her- she terminated the pregnancy. We’re all fine. You have to make the best choice for you and your family. I’m sure this is difficult for you. All best wishes to you.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I agree. I feel the right attitude to having this baby would be i will be grateful for whatever this baby brings and be the best parent I can. That is not my or DHs frame of mind. I therefore feel I should not proceed with this. But it somehow still fills me with a tinge of sadness.

[Anonymous]

Would you be open to placing the baby up for adoption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you only want a baby if it’s perfect and fits into your lifestyle it’s best if you don’t have another child.

That’s not fair, PP. OP has put herself out here in a very vulnerable position. Have some grace.

OP, I had my 3rd at 40. It was the right choice for me. For my closest friend, another child was not the right choice for her- she terminated the pregnancy. We’re all fine. You have to make the best choice for you and your family. I’m sure this is difficult for you. All best wishes to you.

How am I not being fair?

She said she only wants the child if it’s perfect. No ADHD or autism. She can’t guarantee that will happen so for everyone best interest she doesn’t need to have the third child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be 39 in 2 months and am 8 weeks pregnant. I'm in a stable marriage and have 2 kids 8 and 4.5. This was not planned. I feel I'm too old, we both work full time abd life is very busy as it is. We don't have the bandwidth to add an infant to this. My oldest has inattentive ADHD and I worry that in addition to all the risks associated with age, this baby might also have some form of ADHD or autism. Its not the worst thing in the world but we just don't have the capability to raise a special needs child. I feel overwhelmed already. I should terminate this right?

Fwiw, I'm not Christian and I don't belive I'm killing a life yet. It is a feteus not a baby yet. But the possibility of a healthy baby and a wonderful addition to our family and I guess some rosy edition of this tugs at my heart. I know its not practical.

Im pro choice but lets not kid ourselves. This is a baby. I could hear her heartbeat at 8 weeks. Please make sure you dont get pregnant again but think long and hard before you go the abortion route. It isnt the baby's fault you got pregnant. 38 isnt that old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be open to placing the baby up for adoption?

What’s the point of that? Go through the pregnancy and delivery and the trauma of giving up a child up for adoption for what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be open to placing the baby up for adoption?

What’s the point of that? Go through the pregnancy and delivery and the trauma of giving up a child up for adoption for what?

+1 JFC. She has other children, don't make such a stupid suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be open to placing the baby up for adoption?

What’s the point of that? Go through the pregnancy and delivery and the trauma of giving up a child up for adoption for what?

Dp. The point is to give the baby a chance at life and with a family who wouldlove and cherish them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be 39 in 2 months and am 8 weeks pregnant. I'm in a stable marriage and have 2 kids 8 and 4.5. This was not planned. I feel I'm too old, we both work full time abd life is very busy as it is. We don't have the bandwidth to add an infant to this. My oldest has inattentive ADHD and I worry that in addition to all the risks associated with age, this baby might also have some form of ADHD or autism. Its not the worst thing in the world but we just don't have the capability to raise a special needs child. I feel overwhelmed already. I should terminate this right?

Fwiw, I'm not Christian and I don't belive I'm killing a life yet. It is a feteus not a baby yet. But the possibility of a healthy baby and a wonderful addition to our family and I guess some rosy edition of this tugs at my heart. I know its not practical.

Im pro choice but lets not kid ourselves. This is a baby. I could hear her heartbeat at 8 weeks. Please make sure you dont get pregnant again but think long and hard before you go the abortion route. It isnt the baby's fault you got pregnant. 38 isnt that old.

Let’s put this fallacy to rest - heart cells grown in a lab beat. It’s what they do, even when not connected to any other cells, let alone a living body. It’s the cell mechanics, not some greater sign of life.

https://youtu.be/SfxCJji_RHo

And you’re a troll, no pro choice person tells a vulnerable woman looking for help that it’s “not the baby’s fault.” Try harder next time, troll.

[Anonymous]

Whatever decision you make, be sure to really be clear about why you are making it. I terminated a pregnancy and when I get those rare twinges of regret, I'm able to go back to why I made the decision I did and the regret vanishes. I made the right choice for me and my family at the time. I wish you peace whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you be open to placing the baby up for adoption?

What’s the point of that? Go through the pregnancy and delivery and the trauma of giving up a child up for adoption for what?

Dp. The point is to give the baby a chance at life and with a family who wouldlove and cherish them.

Give them the chance to wonder why they were given up? The chance to have lifelong abandonment issues. People romanticize adoption, it’s ridiculous. As someone who was adopted out in a very similar situation I hate when people who are clueless about adoption suggest it at every change they get.

[Anonymous]

Had a unplanned child at 37. I was terrified but it turned out to be the very best thing that could have happened to our family.