Unplanned pregnancy at 38

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she didn't say having the baby and putting it up for adoption was an option

I mean, sure, it MIGHT be an option, but I can't even imagine someone in her situation with 2 older kids going through with the pregnancy only to give their sibling up for adoption.

My sister in law did. She had two kids, got pregnant at 32 and didn't want a third so she put the baby up for adoption. She changed the lives of a lovely couple who now have a son. Everyone involved feels like that was the right decision.

ok, good for her? That is going to be a minority

I know my friend adopted a child from a couple that already had another child. But in that case, there seemed to be poverty involved - I think they just simply couldn't afford another kid. They were pretty young. It is possible that they couldn't figure out how to obtain a low cost termination and/or the pregnancy was too far along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she didn't say having the baby and putting it up for adoption was an option

I mean, sure, it MIGHT be an option, but I can't even imagine someone in her situation with 2 older kids going through with the pregnancy only to give their sibling up for adoption.

My sister in law did. She had two kids, got pregnant at 32 and didn't want a third so she put the baby up for adoption. She changed the lives of a lovely couple who now have a son. Everyone involved feels like that was the right decision.

I honestly find that horrifying. I think the greater good is terminating in that scenario. My guess is most people who do this actually missed the termination time limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she didn't say having the baby and putting it up for adoption was an option

I mean, sure, it MIGHT be an option, but I can't even imagine someone in her situation with 2 older kids going through with the pregnancy only to give their sibling up for adoption.

My sister in law did. She had two kids, got pregnant at 32 and didn't want a third so she put the baby up for adoption. She changed the lives of a lovely couple who now have a son. Everyone involved feels like that was the right decision.

I honestly find that horrifying. I think the greater good is terminating in that scenario. My guess is most people who do this actually missed the termination time limit.

Well I find it horrifying you think it would have been better for her to terminate a baby that has brought joy to a lot of people lives. I thought it was the right to CHOOSE. She made a choice everyone was happy with. Except you, stranger on the internet apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she didn't say having the baby and putting it up for adoption was an option

I mean, sure, it MIGHT be an option, but I can't even imagine someone in her situation with 2 older kids going through with the pregnancy only to give their sibling up for adoption.

My sister in law did. She had two kids, got pregnant at 32 and didn't want a third so she put the baby up for adoption. She changed the lives of a lovely couple who now have a son. Everyone involved feels like that was the right decision.

I honestly find that horrifying. I think the greater good is terminating in that scenario. My guess is most people who do this actually missed the termination time limit.

Well I find it horrifying you think it would have been better for her to terminate a baby that has brought joy to a lot of people lives. I thought it was the right to CHOOSE. She made a choice everyone was happy with. Except you, stranger on the internet apparently.

I support her right to choose. I disagree with the idea that adoption is a viable choice in this scenario for the vast majority of women. And I also want to point out that it’s a perfectly justified moral reasoning to believe that termination is the better option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be 39 in 2 months and am 8 weeks pregnant. I'm in a stable marriage and have 2 kids 8 and 4.5. This was not planned. I feel I'm too old, we both work full time abd life is very busy as it is. We don't have the bandwidth to add an infant to this. My oldest has inattentive ADHD and I worry that in addition to all the risks associated with age, this baby might also have some form of ADHD or autism. Its not the worst thing in the world but we just don't have the capability to raise a special needs child. I feel overwhelmed already. I should terminate this right?

Fwiw, I'm not Christian and I don't belive I'm killing a life yet. It is a feteus not a baby yet. But the possibility of a healthy baby and a wonderful addition to our family and I guess some rosy edition of this tugs at my heart. I know its not practical.

Im pro choice but lets not kid ourselves. This is a baby. I could hear her heartbeat at 8 weeks. Please make sure you dont get pregnant again but think long and hard before you go the abortion route. It isnt the baby's fault you got pregnant. 38 isnt that old.

Let’s put this fallacy to rest - heart cells grown in a lab beat. It’s what they do, even when not connected to any other cells, let alone a living body. It’s the cell mechanics, not some greater sign of life.

https://youtu.be/SfxCJji_RHo

And you’re a troll, no pro choice person tells a vulnerable woman looking for help that it’s “not the baby’s fault.” Try harder next time, troll.

Im not a troll. You were once a bunch of cells too and allowed to grow became you...I am not shaming her just stating facts which we all should ackowlege. At 8 weeks I heard my dd's heartbeat. That is fact. She can do what she wants and ultimately it is her alone will bear the burden not me.

My advice is if you finished having children and choose to abort please dont get pregnant again and get another abortion.

You are speaking as if there were something *wrong* with abortion. There is NOT.

What is wrong is women having babies they don't really want but are forced/guilt-ed/shamed into.

-- Mom of one; with 2 previous abortions; no guilt or shame

Ok pp how many abortions would give you pause? Would it be ok to have five abortions, 10 abortions? Unlimited? Look, to me two abortions are too many given most circumstances ( not counting rape) So, I think while abortion is necessary I do think it should be rare and not the go to choice. You should do prevention first and the day after pill if you think you might get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she didn't say having the baby and putting it up for adoption was an option

I mean, sure, it MIGHT be an option, but I can't even imagine someone in her situation with 2 older kids going through with the pregnancy only to give their sibling up for adoption.

My sister in law did. She had two kids, got pregnant at 32 and didn't want a third so she put the baby up for adoption. She changed the lives of a lovely couple who now have a son. Everyone involved feels like that was the right decision.

ok, good for her? That is going to be a minority

I know my friend adopted a child from a couple that already had another child. But in that case, there seemed to be poverty involved - I think they just simply couldn't afford another kid. They were pretty young. It is possible that they couldn't figure out how to obtain a low cost termination and/or the pregnancy was too far along.

I'm not asking for praise for her. You said you can't even imagine someone in a situation with two older kids giving up a third for adoption. Well, it happens. Maybe you should open your mind a little bit if it's so narrow you "can't imagine" something.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you're getting slammed, but OP, get an abortion, it's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she didn't say having the baby and putting it up for adoption was an option

I mean, sure, it MIGHT be an option, but I can't even imagine someone in her situation with 2 older kids going through with the pregnancy only to give their sibling up for adoption.

My sister in law did. She had two kids, got pregnant at 32 and didn't want a third so she put the baby up for adoption. She changed the lives of a lovely couple who now have a son. Everyone involved feels like that was the right decision.

I honestly find that horrifying. I think the greater good is terminating in that scenario. My guess is most people who do this actually missed the termination time limit.

Well I find it horrifying you think it would have been better for her to terminate a baby that has brought joy to a lot of people lives. I thought it was the right to CHOOSE. She made a choice everyone was happy with. Except you, stranger on the internet apparently.

I support her right to choose. I disagree with the idea that adoption is a viable choice in this scenario for the vast majority of women. And I also want to point out that it’s a perfectly justified moral reasoning to believe that termination is the better option.

Oh well I'm glad the ultimate arbiter of moral reasonability has logged on. Case closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure you're getting slammed, but OP, get an abortion, it's okay.

Absolutely no one is slamming her (save for that one rude post). But if you come onto an internet message board, asking people's thoughts about termination, you are going to get a wide variety of opinions. Don't want them? Don't ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be 39 in 2 months and am 8 weeks pregnant. I'm in a stable marriage and have 2 kids 8 and 4.5. This was not planned. I feel I'm too old, we both work full time abd life is very busy as it is. We don't have the bandwidth to add an infant to this. My oldest has inattentive ADHD and I worry that in addition to all the risks associated with age, this baby might also have some form of ADHD or autism. Its not the worst thing in the world but we just don't have the capability to raise a special needs child. I feel overwhelmed already. I should terminate this right?

Fwiw, I'm not Christian and I don't belive I'm killing a life yet. It is a feteus not a baby yet. But the possibility of a healthy baby and a wonderful addition to our family and I guess some rosy edition of this tugs at my heart. I know its not practical.

Im pro choice but lets not kid ourselves. This is a baby. I could hear her heartbeat at 8 weeks. Please make sure you dont get pregnant again but think long and hard before you go the abortion route. It isnt the baby's fault you got pregnant. 38 isnt that old.

Let’s put this fallacy to rest - heart cells grown in a lab beat. It’s what they do, even when not connected to any other cells, let alone a living body. It’s the cell mechanics, not some greater sign of life.

https://youtu.be/SfxCJji_RHo

And you’re a troll, no pro choice person tells a vulnerable woman looking for help that it’s “not the baby’s fault.” Try harder next time, troll.

Im not a troll. You were once a bunch of cells too and allowed to grow became you...I am not shaming her just stating facts which we all should ackowlege. At 8 weeks I heard my dd's heartbeat. That is fact. She can do what she wants and ultimately it is her alone will bear the burden not me.

My advice is if you finished having children and choose to abort please dont get pregnant again and get another abortion.

You are speaking as if there were something *wrong* with abortion. There is NOT.

What is wrong is women having babies they don't really want but are forced/guilt-ed/shamed into.

-- Mom of one; with 2 previous abortions; no guilt or shame

Ok pp how many abortions would give you pause? Would it be ok to have five abortions, 10 abortions? Unlimited? Look, to me two abortions are too many given most circumstances ( not counting rape) So, I think while abortion is necessary I do think it should be rare and not the go to choice. You should do prevention first and the day after pill if you think you might get pregnant.

Not PP, but no number of abortions would give me pause. If an abortion is iamb in the case of rape, it’s obviously not a life with all human rights attached to it because you wouldn’t kill a 2-year old who was conceived in rape (I’m assuming). So what difference does the number of abortions make? I have had an abortion and it’s not something I would want to repeat, but only because of cost, the time it took, and the mild pain. I am now even more careful about birth control, but if my birth control failed ten more times and I needed ten more abortions, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I do not want to be pregnant, much less have a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be 39 in 2 months and am 8 weeks pregnant. I'm in a stable marriage and have 2 kids 8 and 4.5. This was not planned. I feel I'm too old, we both work full time abd life is very busy as it is. We don't have the bandwidth to add an infant to this. My oldest has inattentive ADHD and I worry that in addition to all the risks associated with age, this baby might also have some form of ADHD or autism. Its not the worst thing in the world but we just don't have the capability to raise a special needs child. I feel overwhelmed already. I should terminate this right?

Fwiw, I'm not Christian and I don't belive I'm killing a life yet. It is a feteus not a baby yet. But the possibility of a healthy baby and a wonderful addition to our family and I guess some rosy edition of this tugs at my heart. I know its not practical.

Im pro choice but lets not kid ourselves. This is a baby. I could hear her heartbeat at 8 weeks. Please make sure you dont get pregnant again but think long and hard before you go the abortion route. It isnt the baby's fault you got pregnant. 38 isnt that old.

Let’s put this fallacy to rest - heart cells grown in a lab beat. It’s what they do, even when not connected to any other cells, let alone a living body. It’s the cell mechanics, not some greater sign of life.

https://youtu.be/SfxCJji_RHo

And you’re a troll, no pro choice person tells a vulnerable woman looking for help that it’s “not the baby’s fault.” Try harder next time, troll.

Im not a troll. You were once a bunch of cells too and allowed to grow became you...I am not shaming her just stating facts which we all should ackowlege. At 8 weeks I heard my dd's heartbeat. That is fact. She can do what she wants and ultimately it is her alone will bear the burden not me.

My advice is if you finished having children and choose to abort please dont get pregnant again and get another abortion.

You are speaking as if there were something *wrong* with abortion. There is NOT.

What is wrong is women having babies they don't really want but are forced/guilt-ed/shamed into.

-- Mom of one; with 2 previous abortions; no guilt or shame

Ok pp how many abortions would give you pause? Would it be ok to have five abortions, 10 abortions? Unlimited? Look, to me two abortions are too many given most circumstances ( not counting rape) So, I think while abortion is necessary I do think it should be rare and not the go to choice. You should do prevention first and the day after pill if you think you might get pregnant.

Not PP, but no number of abortions would give me pause. If an abortion is iamb in the case of rape, it’s obviously not a life with all human rights attached to it because you wouldn’t kill a 2-year old who was conceived in rape (I’m assuming). So what difference does the number of abortions make? I have had an abortion and it’s not something I would want to repeat, but only because of cost, the time it took, and the mild pain. I am now even more careful about birth control, but if my birth control failed ten more times and I needed ten more abortions, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I do not want to be pregnant, much less have a child.

'm sorry but, I guess we have to disagree. If you are using abortion as a birth control method something is morally wrong with you. I can't imagine how damaging it is to your body. BTW, I do know a person who was a product of rape and he was not aborted. He has had a good life and glad his mother did not abort him although I would not judge her at all. But, someone having more than 2 abortions? Yes, I do judge.

And I am not counting someone raped or if something was seriously wrong with the baby or the mother would die. Just the person saying "oops I had sex with no protection and got pregnant" Time for the abortion!

[Anonymous]

Whatever you decide is your husband open to a vasectomy? If you’re done be really should do it so you don’t have to keep being the one to bear the emotional burden of terminating which falls mostly on the woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be 39 in 2 months and am 8 weeks pregnant. I'm in a stable marriage and have 2 kids 8 and 4.5. This was not planned. I feel I'm too old, we both work full time abd life is very busy as it is. We don't have the bandwidth to add an infant to this. My oldest has inattentive ADHD and I worry that in addition to all the risks associated with age, this baby might also have some form of ADHD or autism. Its not the worst thing in the world but we just don't have the capability to raise a special needs child. I feel overwhelmed already. I should terminate this right?

Fwiw, I'm not Christian and I don't belive I'm killing a life yet. It is a feteus not a baby yet. But the possibility of a healthy baby and a wonderful addition to our family and I guess some rosy edition of this tugs at my heart. I know its not practical.

Im pro choice but lets not kid ourselves. This is a baby. I could hear her heartbeat at 8 weeks. Please make sure you dont get pregnant again but think long and hard before you go the abortion route. It isnt the baby's fault you got pregnant. 38 isnt that old.

Let’s put this fallacy to rest - heart cells grown in a lab beat. It’s what they do, even when not connected to any other cells, let alone a living body. It’s the cell mechanics, not some greater sign of life.

https://youtu.be/SfxCJji_RHo

And you’re a troll, no pro choice person tells a vulnerable woman looking for help that it’s “not the baby’s fault.” Try harder next time, troll.

Im not a troll. You were once a bunch of cells too and allowed to grow became you...I am not shaming her just stating facts which we all should ackowlege. At 8 weeks I heard my dd's heartbeat. That is fact. She can do what she wants and ultimately it is her alone will bear the burden not me.

My advice is if you finished having children and choose to abort please dont get pregnant again and get another abortion.

You are speaking as if there were something *wrong* with abortion. There is NOT.

What is wrong is women having babies they don't really want but are forced/guilt-ed/shamed into.

-- Mom of one; with 2 previous abortions; no guilt or shame

Ok pp how many abortions would give you pause? Would it be ok to have five abortions, 10 abortions? Unlimited? Look, to me two abortions are too many given most circumstances ( not counting rape) So, I think while abortion is necessary I do think it should be rare and not the go to choice. You should do prevention first and the day after pill if you think you might get pregnant.

Not PP, but no number of abortions would give me pause. If an abortion is iamb in the case of rape, it’s obviously not a life with all human rights attached to it because you wouldn’t kill a 2-year old who was conceived in rape (I’m assuming). So what difference does the number of abortions make? I have had an abortion and it’s not something I would want to repeat, but only because of cost, the time it took, and the mild pain. I am now even more careful about birth control, but if my birth control failed ten more times and I needed ten more abortions, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I do not want to be pregnant, much less have a child.

'm sorry but, I guess we have to disagree. If you are using abortion as a birth control method something is morally wrong with you. I can't imagine how damaging it is to your body. BTW, I do know a person who was a product of rape and he was not aborted. He has had a good life and glad his mother did not abort him although I would not judge her at all. But, someone having more than 2 abortions? Yes, I do judge.

And I am not counting someone raped or if something was seriously wrong with the baby or the mother would die. Just the person saying "oops I had sex with no protection and got pregnant" Time for the abortion!

I thought I was pretty clear that I wasn’t advocating for using abortion as a primary form of birth control, but I don’t see how you can say that having an abortion because you had unprotected sex is morally worse than having an abortion because your birth control failed or because you were raped. A fetus is a fetus is a fetus.

[Anonymous]

I am pregnant with my surprised 3rd baby. I am not sure what your question is...so many people make this work and so many people choose not to. I am pro choice, but I personally would have been gutted to terminate my own pregnancy for no other reason than being surprised. We are close to the due date and excited but I don't think this is a right or wrong question, just a personal one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:she didn't say having the baby and putting it up for adoption was an option

I mean, sure, it MIGHT be an option, but I can't even imagine someone in her situation with 2 older kids going through with the pregnancy only to give their sibling up for adoption.

My sister in law did. She had two kids, got pregnant at 32 and didn't want a third so she put the baby up for adoption. She changed the lives of a lovely couple who now have a son. Everyone involved feels like that was the right decision.

I honestly find that horrifying. I think the greater good is terminating in that scenario. My guess is most people who do this actually missed the termination time limit.

Well I find it horrifying you think it would have been better for her to terminate a baby that has brought joy to a lot of people lives. I thought it was the right to CHOOSE. She made a choice everyone was happy with. Except you, stranger on the internet apparently.

You’re turning the child into an object here. A source of joy. Do you have any idea what it is like to be abandoned, given to another family, while your parents and your older siblings all got to stay together? Do you know the survivor’s guilt of you parents giving your youngest siblings away? No?