Losing minds with 4.5 y.o. potty training
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Anonymous
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DS is still in pull-ups. He is potty-trained from the perspective that he can hold his pee and poop, recognize when he needs to go, and even use the potty (including flushing, washing hands, etc.) all on his own. The only thing he needs help with is wiping, which our older DD did as well at his age. At pre-school, he does all of these things on his own, without being asked.
At home, it's a crap shoot (pun intended). Sometimes he'll go proactively. Most times he won't, and he'll just pee (once in a while even poop) in his pull up. Then, he'll refuse to change it, even when he's soaked through. It's maddening, and we can't figure out what's going on. We've tried strict, we've tried gentle, we've tried coaxing, we've tried ignoring. Nothing works. And the walking around in a soaked pull-up with wet pants is a problem. He's not a baby I can just plop onto a changing table anymore. I'm at my wit's end. Any suggestions? He doesn't have any major delays/SN. He did receive PT for a mild gross motor delay, and his last OT eval said to watch out for a possible sensory issue. I have no idea if that could have anything to do with this. |
Anonymous
| You should remove the pull-up. He should help to clean any mess he makes. |
Anonymous
| Remove the pull up. Make him sit on the toilet once an hour for 5 minutes until he goes, then spread it out to 1.5, then two hours. Use timers. Make him help clean up any messes. If he has no problems at daycare it is not a bodily issue, it's a situational problem. Give him more structure. |
Anonymous
| Ditch the pull-up. |
Anonymous
| He has no need for a pull up. Agree with the PPs to ditch it. |
Anonymous
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Yes, he's peeing in the pull up because it's there. If he can hold it, he will not pee or poop in his underwear. He may, once or twice pee. I doubt he will poop.
So yes, echoing others and remove the pull up. If he wears them at night, I'd try removing it then too. Double make his bed with a waterproof layer underneath, keep a fresh blanket/pillow nearby just in case. Makes middle of the night changing fast just in case he does wet the bed. |
Anonymous
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How is this even a question? Why does a potty-trained child still wear pull-ups anyway? Or at all?
Most children just go from diapers to potty-trained without using pullups. |
Anonymous
| He's 4.5 and playing you. He's potty trained, hence being able to do it at school. Ditch the pull up immediately and make him clean messes and do a sticker chart/reward for a week of no accidents. |
Anonymous
If you can't say anything helpful, don't post. -Not OP |
Anonymous
| Talk to your pediatrician. |
Anonymous
| I’m confused, why is he even wearing the pull up? I will never understand why parents are shocked/frustrated that their kids pee in pull-ups. Remove the pull up. |
Anonymous
| Why the hell is he still wearing a pull up? |
Anonymous
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No pull-up. He helps clean. If he resists, mete out immediate consequences. |
Anonymous
| For our son, we found something that he really really liked. (For us it was a train ride at the mall.) I made a chart and told him for every day that he uses the potty (meaning pull up is completely clean) he will get a sticker, if he has five stickers in a row (five days using the potty without problems) we will go to the mall and he can ride the train. It worked like a charm, from then on he used the potty with no trouble. We kept that list up for a month. Maybe you could try a similar approach? |
Anonymous
| You have a weekend coming up, so this is a good training opportunity. I would say goodbye to the pull-ups tomorrow and have him go naked for a couple days. Monday morning you can celebrate with big boy underwear! Think of a good incentive for using the potty —- you could give him a little treat or cheap toy or screen time, whatever currency is valuable to him, if he can get through the weekend without accidents. |