16-year-old told me he had sex

[Anonymous]

We have always had sex education in our household, while discouraging engaging in sexual activities, we have educated our children about safe sex.


I'm not going into the details of why DS told his mother, but we had a conversation. I don't know how to feel about it. I'm not angry just not pleased. How has everyone else dealt with the news?

[Anonymous]

That's wonderful, that he told you. Good job mom/dad! Nothing really to do except make sure he has access to condoms and fully understands the implications and meaning of unprotected sex and non-consentual sex.

[Anonymous]

Well it would not be my preference either but it's just not that uncommon for a 16 yo to have sex. So I would focus on the safe sex and respect discussion, and stress that being in a good, healthy relationship is the most important thing.

[Anonymous]

I would cry. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

My son was having sex at 16. I wasn’t happy about it but it is developmentally normal.

[Anonymous]

totally normal.

Awesome parenting. He told you that is huge! Give him all the tools and he will be fine. Condoms, Condoms, Condoms, and talk to him about STD's. Make sure he understands how much it costs to take care of a child.

[Anonymous]

I mean the fact he is doing it safely is awesome. I loss my virginity at 16, it sort of is what it is.

[Anonymous]

No one is happy about it. But, as long as he understands safe sex, condoms, STD's, consent, how much a baby costs, there is nothing else you can do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's wonderful, that he told you. Good job mom/dad! Nothing really to do except make sure he has access to condoms and fully understands the implications and meaning of unprotected sex and non-consentual sex.

THIS THIS THIS!

[Anonymous]

I was a straight A student, headed to top colleges, varsity athlete, goody two shoes...and I had sex at 16. It’s not a reflection of your parenting or his moral failure, it just is what it is.

Give him condoms, stress the importance of consent, and make sure he is being safe about it.

[Anonymous]

I would react by making sure he always has easy access to condoms and if possible get to know the person he’s having sex with

[Anonymous]

Double check with him to make sure it was by consent and how he’s feeling about it. Teenage boys who lose their virginity are often overlooked because we assume boys will be boys and they wanted it. Several guys have shared they lost their virginity due to an aggressive, often older partner. The fact that he told you is great, but don’t assume he’s happy about or it was his idea. Double check that he’s ok.

[Anonymous]

I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

good luck telling a 16 year old boy who has a girl willing to have sex with him not to have sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

They will do what their friends do. This is why I send my kids to single gender schools. Less opportunity.

They can still get into trouble, but I'm more likely to see it coming.