16-year-old told me he had sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am ROFL at the idea that single sex schools keep teens from having sex.

--graduate of a single sex high school

Exactly!
I grew up in a town where about half the kids went to single sex Catholic schools and the other half to regular public schools. All my Catholic School friends had sex in high school. I think it was because they didn't spend enough time with the boys to see what idiots they were. Many of my public school friends waited till college or even beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I told my son:

1. Always use a condom. Even if she says you don't have to. Even if you can't feel everything as much (you'd sure feel the STD you catch, or the baby spit up or worse at 4am). Even if she says she's on birth control (people lie, bc fails sometimes)
2. If you're having sex with someone you're in a relationship with, offer to split the cost of birth control - it's both your responsibility, not just hers
3. Just because you have sex once (or ten times) with someone doesn't mean you have to have sex with them again if you don't want to
4. Just because you have sex in one relationship or with one person doesn't mean you have to have sex with everyone else after them
5. Even though you're a boy you can say no too.
6. If a girl ever says no or stop or seems like she wants to say those things but can't, stop. Err on the side of caution.
7. Do NOT film it
8. Have sex with people who are sober. If you're not sure, don't risk it.
9. If you are worried something is wrong, see a doctor.. Ask me. Ask your dad. We will send you to a doctor, or go with you if you want.
10. Planned Parenthood sees men also.
11. Doctors and nurses have seen EVERYTHING. No matter what you could have possibly done or shoved anywhere, nothing will phase them. Be honest. I swear they will not laugh.
12. If you're about to have sex with someone and something doesn't look right, don't do it.

+1
This is great advice

[Anonymous]

The average age to have sex for the first time in 17. So that means plenty of kids are having it younger. 16 really is not an unusual age and I would be pleased to have a relationship with a teenager who would disclose it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I told my son:

1. Always use a condom. Even if she says you don't have to. Even if you can't feel everything as much (you'd sure feel the STD you catch, or the baby spit up or worse at 4am). Even if she says she's on birth control (people lie, bc fails sometimes)
2. If you're having sex with someone you're in a relationship with, offer to split the cost of birth control - it's both your responsibility, not just hers
3. Just because you have sex once (or ten times) with someone doesn't mean you have to have sex with them again if you don't want to
4. Just because you have sex in one relationship or with one person doesn't mean you have to have sex with everyone else after them
5. Even though you're a boy you can say no too.
6. If a girl ever says no or stop or seems like she wants to say those things but can't, stop. Err on the side of caution.
7. Do NOT film it
8. Have sex with people who are sober. If you're not sure, don't risk it.
9. If you are worried something is wrong, see a doctor.. Ask me. Ask your dad. We will send you to a doctor, or go with you if you want.
10. Planned Parenthood sees men also.
11. Doctors and nurses have seen EVERYTHING. No matter what you could have possibly done or shoved anywhere, nothing will phase them. Be honest. I swear they will not laugh.
12. If you're about to have sex with someone and something doesn't look right, don't do it.

This is so great and made me tear up a little bit. I wish I had a parent like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I told my son:

1. Always use a condom. Even if she says you don't have to. Even if you can't feel everything as much (you'd sure feel the STD you catch, or the baby spit up or worse at 4am). Even if she says she's on birth control (people lie, bc fails sometimes)
2. If you're having sex with someone you're in a relationship with, offer to split the cost of birth control - it's both your responsibility, not just hers
3. Just because you have sex once (or ten times) with someone doesn't mean you have to have sex with them again if you don't want to
4. Just because you have sex in one relationship or with one person doesn't mean you have to have sex with everyone else after them
5. Even though you're a boy you can say no too.
6. If a girl ever says no or stop or seems like she wants to say those things but can't, stop. Err on the side of caution.
7. Do NOT film it
8. Have sex with people who are sober. If you're not sure, don't risk it.
9. If you are worried something is wrong, see a doctor.. Ask me. Ask your dad. We will send you to a doctor, or go with you if you want.
10. Planned Parenthood sees men also.
11. Doctors and nurses have seen EVERYTHING. No matter what you could have possibly done or shoved anywhere, nothing will phase them. Be honest. I swear they will not laugh.
12. If you're about to have sex with someone and something doesn't look right, don't do it.

+1
This is great advice

This is great especially #10, but I would add you can just call your pediatrician too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I told my son:

1. Always use a condom. Even if she says you don't have to. Even if you can't feel everything as much (you'd sure feel the STD you catch, or the baby spit up or worse at 4am). Even if she says she's on birth control (people lie, bc fails sometimes)
2. If you're having sex with someone you're in a relationship with, offer to split the cost of birth control - it's both your responsibility, not just hers
3. Just because you have sex once (or ten times) with someone doesn't mean you have to have sex with them again if you don't want to
4. Just because you have sex in one relationship or with one person doesn't mean you have to have sex with everyone else after them
5. Even though you're a boy you can say no too.
6. If a girl ever says no or stop or seems like she wants to say those things but can't, stop. Err on the side of caution.
7. Do NOT film it
8. Have sex with people who are sober. If you're not sure, don't risk it.
9. If you are worried something is wrong, see a doctor.. Ask me. Ask your dad. We will send you to a doctor, or go with you if you want.
10. Planned Parenthood sees men also.
11. Doctors and nurses have seen EVERYTHING. No matter what you could have possibly done or shoved anywhere, nothing will phase them. Be honest. I swear they will not laugh.
12. If you're about to have sex with someone and something doesn't look right, don't do it.

+1
This is great advice

This is great especially #10, but I would add you can just call your pediatrician too.

Hi I work at Planned Parenthood and love how thorough the PP has been with her son. Thanks for sharing how you thought about it and talked about it with him. To the point above that you can call your pediatrician that is DEFINITELY true there are so many great pediatricians out there who can help guide teenagers through some of these issues, although I will say quite a number of teenagers end up coming to me saying that they tried to talk to their pediatrician about birth control or whatever and were told they were “too young“ and basically shut down. A lot of pediatricians don’t actually have a great deal of experience in sexual health (my friend who is a ped asks me advice about birth control options for teens) so just be aware that in some offices their questions might not be encouraged or warmly received.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a hall linen closet where you typically store extra soap, shampoo, that type of thing? Have condoms. Easy to access. Out of the box. Lots of them so he doesn't think you're counting (and you don't really want to know if any are gone) Make sure the expiration date is good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a hall linen closet where you typically store extra soap, shampoo, that type of thing? Have condoms. Easy to access. Out of the box. Lots of them so he doesn't think you're counting (and you don't really want to know if any are gone) Make sure the expiration date is good.

Variety packs, unless you want to ask what style he or she prefers, size etc.

[Anonymous]

Why would your son need to go to Planned Parenthood do you not have a physician

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a hall linen closet where you typically store extra soap, shampoo, that type of thing? Have condoms. Easy to access. Out of the box. Lots of them so he doesn't think you're counting (and you don't really want to know if any are gone) Make sure the expiration date is good.

Variety packs, unless you want to ask what style he or she prefers, size etc.

Yeah, asking if his partner likes ribbed may be a step too far

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

You’re misreading. The PPs are not happy that the kid is having sex, they’re happy that the kid told his parents about it.

Be careful your approach doesn’t alienate their kids so they close you out of the major events in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I told my son:

1. Always use a condom. Even if she says you don't have to. Even if you can't feel everything as much (you'd sure feel the STD you catch, or the baby spit up or worse at 4am). Even if she says she's on birth control (people lie, bc fails sometimes)
2. If you're having sex with someone you're in a relationship with, offer to split the cost of birth control - it's both your responsibility, not just hers
3. Just because you have sex once (or ten times) with someone doesn't mean you have to have sex with them again if you don't want to
4. Just because you have sex in one relationship or with one person doesn't mean you have to have sex with everyone else after them
5. Even though you're a boy you can say no too.
6. If a girl ever says no or stop or seems like she wants to say those things but can't, stop. Err on the side of caution.
7. Do NOT film it
8. Have sex with people who are sober. If you're not sure, don't risk it.
9. If you are worried something is wrong, see a doctor.. Ask me. Ask your dad. We will send you to a doctor, or go with you if you want.
10. Planned Parenthood sees men also.
11. Doctors and nurses have seen EVERYTHING. No matter what you could have possibly done or shoved anywhere, nothing will phase them. Be honest. I swear they will not laugh.
12. If you're about to have sex with someone and something doesn't look right, don't do it.

+1
This is great advice

This is great especially #10, but I would add you can just call your pediatrician too.

Hi I work at Planned Parenthood and love how thorough the PP has been with her son. Thanks for sharing how you thought about it and talked about it with him. To the point above that you can call your pediatrician that is DEFINITELY true there are so many great pediatricians out there who can help guide teenagers through some of these issues, although I will say quite a number of teenagers end up coming to me saying that they tried to talk to their pediatrician about birth control or whatever and were told they were “too young“ and basically shut down. A lot of pediatricians don’t actually have a great deal of experience in sexual health (my friend who is a ped asks me advice about birth control options for teens) so just be aware that in some offices their questions might not be encouraged or warmly received.

I can understand that.

My son Had a terrible experience with his college clinic and he called his pediatrician for advice. They have a 18 year history. It really was a life saver.

But yea if your ped is old fashion don’t call them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would your son need to go to Planned Parenthood do you not have a physician

The bill will go to the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's wonderful, that he told you. Good job mom/dad! Nothing really to do except make sure he has access to condoms and fully understands the implications and meaning of unprotected sex and non-consentual sex.

+1. Continue to reinforce safe sex practices, discussions about drugs and alcohol, and continue a open space at home for communication. As long as he made the decision himself there’s really nothing to be happy, sad, or disappointed about. It’s a right of passage that supposed to happen on each persons own terms. He’s around the average age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what I told my son:

1. Always use a condom. Even if she says you don't have to. Even if you can't feel everything as much (you'd sure feel the STD you catch, or the baby spit up or worse at 4am). Even if she says she's on birth control (people lie, bc fails sometimes)
2. If you're having sex with someone you're in a relationship with, offer to split the cost of birth control - it's both your responsibility, not just hers
3. Just because you have sex once (or ten times) with someone doesn't mean you have to have sex with them again if you don't want to
4. Just because you have sex in one relationship or with one person doesn't mean you have to have sex with everyone else after them
5. Even though you're a boy you can say no too.
6. If a girl ever says no or stop or seems like she wants to say those things but can't, stop. Err on the side of caution.
7. Do NOT film it
8. Have sex with people who are sober. If you're not sure, don't risk it.
9. If you are worried something is wrong, see a doctor.. Ask me. Ask your dad. We will send you to a doctor, or go with you if you want.
10. Planned Parenthood sees men also.
11. Doctors and nurses have seen EVERYTHING. No matter what you could have possibly done or shoved anywhere, nothing will phase them. Be honest. I swear they will not laugh.
12. If you're about to have sex with someone and something doesn't look right, don't do it.

This is so great and made me tear up a little bit. I wish I had a parent like you.

Great advice. +1000 for #7- DO NOT film it, snap it, share, Nada. You’re not that good and the internet has a long memory.