16-year-old told me he had sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

good luck telling a 16 year old boy who has a girl willing to have sex with him not to have sex

This. Even after you have raised him to make good choices, etc etc

Not to dunk on you, PP, but I kind of reject the idea that this was a bad choice. It's certainly possible, but what if it's a neutral choice. What if it's a happy choice between two teenagers that care about each other. I'm certainly not hoping my kids have sex at 16, but want to give them the information to make those decisions. It's a part of them growing up.

16 year olds do not have the ability to understand all the ramifications of sexual relationships.

I understand that it’s almost impossible to control a 16 year old, because you really can’t make them do anything, but I don’t think shrugging your shoulders that it happened and providing access to BC is a good idea either.

If your child crashed their car for distracted driving, there would be consequences, because the behavior that caused the crash (distracted driving) has potentially serious and lifelong impacts. So does being sexually active.

[Anonymous]

Birth control access is ALWAYS a good idea.

ALWAYS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It is normal and healthy.

No reason to shame consensual, natural behavior. Teens have been having sex since the beging of time. You and your 'virgin' friends were outside the scope of norm.

Not really. The world over teens are virgins...except in America. No wonder the country is in the state it is. Get your kids studying and focussing on school. Sex is a big step and most of these children are not developmentally ready for it emotionally even if their bodies are. Teach your kids to respect themselves. What are they? Cats and dogs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It is normal and healthy.

No reason to shame consensual, natural behavior. Teens have been having sex since the beging of time. You and your 'virgin' friends were outside the scope of norm.

Not really. The world over teens are virgins...except in America. No wonder the country is in the state it is. Get your kids studying and focussing on school. Sex is a big step and most of these children are not developmentally ready for it emotionally even if their bodies are. Teach your kids to respect themselves. What are they? Cats and dogs?

I'm sorry, but WHAT??!! Yeah, no. I mean, maybe if you mean "Western and Northern Europe, and some parts of South Asia" but most teens are not virgins worldwide. Hell, a lot of teens are married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

They will do what their friends do. This is why I send my kids to single gender schools. Less opportunity.

They can still get into trouble, but I'm more likely to see it coming.

HaHa I went to a private military school for four years, no women. Most every weekend was wild sex with the girls at the local women's school. Probably got more sex than I would of at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It is normal and healthy.

No reason to shame consensual, natural behavior. Teens have been having sex since the beging of time. You and your 'virgin' friends were outside the scope of norm.

Not really. The world over teens are virgins...except in America. No wonder the country is in the state it is. Get your kids studying and focussing on school. Sex is a big step and most of these children are not developmentally ready for it emotionally even if their bodies are. Teach your kids to respect themselves. What are they? Cats and dogs?

Okay idiot

[Anonymous]

It is just sex - a physical, pleasurable thing. If hevis wearing condoms and taking normal precautions and they are about the same age, I don’t see any harm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 16, my DS is studying for SAT. Where are these kids having secx and with whom? Its pandemic everywhere.

Omg I know! At 16 I had only just kissed a boy. Most of the close friends I made in college were still virgins their first year (I’m 35). Teen sex is actually at an all time low. This is not normal or healthy.

I’m 43. When I went to college, I was the only virgin amongst my group of friends. High school sex was the norm back in the 90s. I understand now that most teens aren’t having sex, but OP’s son is still very much within the norm historically and developmentally speaking. There is a range.

Not among my 90s friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is just sex - a physical, pleasurable thing. If hevis wearing condoms and taking normal precautions and they are about the same age, I don’t see any harm.

A physical pleasurable thing that can lead to pregnancy, for one point. It also creates emotions and bonding between people. It has major ramifications beyond the physical pleasure.

[Anonymous]

The people who think their teens aren't interested in sex because they're busy studying for the SAT and immersed in school are hilarious. Those things are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

good luck telling a 16 year old boy who has a girl willing to have sex with him not to have sex

This. Even after you have raised him to make good choices, etc etc

Not to dunk on you, PP, but I kind of reject the idea that this was a bad choice. It's certainly possible, but what if it's a neutral choice. What if it's a happy choice between two teenagers that care about each other. I'm certainly not hoping my kids have sex at 16, but want to give them the information to make those decisions. It's a part of them growing up.

16 year olds do not have the ability to understand all the ramifications of sexual relationships.

I understand that it’s almost impossible to control a 16 year old, because you really can’t make them do anything, but I don’t think shrugging your shoulders that it happened and providing access to BC is a good idea either.

If your child crashed their car for distracted driving, there would be consequences, because the behavior that caused the crash (distracted driving) has potentially serious and lifelong impacts. So does being sexually active.

Family psychologist disagree

Also, 16 year olds do many things with long term consequences, it's not the end of the world and teaching them to be responsible is more responsible than either putting your head in the sand or forbidding the activity.

Do you know how many 16 year olds get in car accidents? A LOT. We don't take cars from them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 16, my DS is studying for SAT. Where are these kids having secx and with whom? Its pandemic everywhere.

Omg I know! At 16 I had only just kissed a boy. Most of the close friends I made in college were still virgins their first year (I’m 35). Teen sex is actually at an all time low. This is not normal or healthy.

I’m 43. When I went to college, I was the only virgin amongst my group of friends. High school sex was the norm back in the 90s. I understand now that most teens aren’t having sex, but OP’s son is still very much within the norm historically and developmentally speaking. There is a range.

Not among my 90s friends.

maybe, or maybe they lied to you.

I graduated HS in the late 80's ... all girls Catholic school, only 2 out of 10 of my friends graduated a virgin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

good luck telling a 16 year old boy who has a girl willing to have sex with him not to have sex

This. Even after you have raised him to make good choices, etc etc

Not to dunk on you, PP, but I kind of reject the idea that this was a bad choice. It's certainly possible, but what if it's a neutral choice. What if it's a happy choice between two teenagers that care about each other. I'm certainly not hoping my kids have sex at 16, but want to give them the information to make those decisions. It's a part of them growing up.

16 year olds do not have the ability to understand all the ramifications of sexual relationships.

I understand that it’s almost impossible to control a 16 year old, because you really can’t make them do anything, but I don’t think shrugging your shoulders that it happened and providing access to BC is a good idea either.

If your child crashed their car for distracted driving, there would be consequences, because the behavior that caused the crash (distracted driving) has potentially serious and lifelong impacts. So does being sexually active.

That;s not a good analogy. It is presumed that for most people (not ALL of course) that a good sex life and sexual relationships are part of a 'good' life. In 2,3,4 years or whatever age your comfort level is, it will be a good and healthy choice. Driving distracted will never be a healthy choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not. I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc. I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake. I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences. So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.

good luck telling a 16 year old boy who has a girl willing to have sex with him not to have sex

This. Even after you have raised him to make good choices, etc etc

Not to dunk on you, PP, but I kind of reject the idea that this was a bad choice. It's certainly possible, but what if it's a neutral choice. What if it's a happy choice between two teenagers that care about each other. I'm certainly not hoping my kids have sex at 16, but want to give them the information to make those decisions. It's a part of them growing up.

16 year olds do not have the ability to understand all the ramifications of sexual relationships.

I understand that it’s almost impossible to control a 16 year old, because you really can’t make them do anything, but I don’t think shrugging your shoulders that it happened and providing access to BC is a good idea either.

If your child crashed their car for distracted driving, there would be consequences, because the behavior that caused the crash (distracted driving) has potentially serious and lifelong impacts. So does being sexually active.

Well, you lost me there. You can't unring a bell. Making sure they are emotionally healthy and protecting their physical health/preventing pregnancy would be my number one goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It is normal and healthy.

No reason to shame consensual, natural behavior. Teens have been having sex since the beging of time. You and your 'virgin' friends were outside the scope of norm.

Not really. The world over teens are virgins...except in America. No wonder the country is in the state it is. Get your kids studying and focussing on school. Sex is a big step and most of these children are not developmentally ready for it emotionally even if their bodies are. Teach your kids to respect themselves. What are they? Cats and dogs?

I'm sorry, but WHAT??!! Yeah, no. I mean, maybe if you mean "Western and Northern Europe, and some parts of South Asia" but most teens are not virgins worldwide. Hell, a lot of teens are married.

They are ridiculous, ignore.