AITA: teasing a friend

[Anonymous]

Ok, let's do this "am I the a**hole" style. I really don't think I've done anything wrong, but you tell me.

I have a friend who is a little bit sensitive. I think it's just her personality, but also she's been having a bit of a tough time lately at work. I think she and her boyfriend might have some Covid-related strife, I don't know. Point is, she's a little on the sensitive time.

I'm a very jokey, irreverent person. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor and like to joke around with my friends. I spend a lot of time around men and maybe that's why. Also, I have ADHD and sometimes struggle a bit with picking up on certain social signals.

Anyway, I tease this friend sometimes. Nothing serious, just lighthearted ribbing. She takes herself SO seriously. Sometimes if she's lamenting some job- or boyfriend-related drama, I'll crack a joke about it to lighten the mood. Or I'll snap a silly photo of her while we're all hanging out (socially distanced, of course, don't freak out) and post it to Instagram or Facebook with a funny caption. I just think it's all of us having a good time.

But she cannot take a joke. She gets mad at me every time, and will say things like "I don't think that's funny" or ask me to take down a photo I posted of her. I kind of roll my eyes at it, but she's getting really obnoxious about it. Honestly, I think I tease her more because she's so sensitive about it. I think she just needs to get over herself and lighten up.

So, what do you think? Am I the A**hole?

[Anonymous]

^she's on the sensitive SIDE, not time. Dumb autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

Posting photos without permission isn't ok. Ever.

Most people can take a gentle ribbing, but if you can tell she's uncomfortable... why continue? Find another way to have fun with her.

YTA.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Friends don't try to push their friend's emotional buttons, especially when they are stressed. Really, I think you both don't really like each other.

[Anonymous]

I am a person who thinks of myself the way you describe yourself (ie, irreverent and jokey) but I manage to not pick at friends who are sensitive or post pictures of them to social media that are embarrassing. So from someone that kind of sees the world your way, I think you sound like the ahole here.

[Anonymous]

You know she doesn't like it, but you keep doing it. You're full of reasons why it's okay that you keep doing it, but the fact is that you are insisting on doing something that makes your "friend" unhappy. Yes, YATA.

[Anonymous]

You are the a hole

[Anonymous]

You are a huge asshole.

[Anonymous]

Also, it is total BS that you offer your ADHD/inability to pick up on social signals as an excuse here. You KNOW that your friend doesn't like your teasing. You KNOW that it doesn't make her feel better, or lighten her mood (read: blow her off when she's sharing a problem or struggle). You KNOW that she wants you to stop. There's no secret signal here that you are missing.

Really, it's that you think she's the problem and she needs to change. But she doesn't. Your way of being is not better than hers.

Also, I bet your jokes are not as funny as you think they are, or they are more mean-spirited than you are letting on.

[Anonymous]

I'm honestly surprised you have any friends. I had a friend like you in high school. By the time we graduated she had no actual friends.

[Anonymous]

You sound like no friend at all. I'd drop you like a hot potato.

[Anonymous]

Not cool, OP. Yes, YATA.

[Anonymous]

yes, you are

[Anonymous]

You take pics of her and post them to social media? lol you're the a**hole friend.

[Anonymous]

Rare simple unanimity on dcum op, congrats!