AITA: teasing a friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, let's do this "am I the a**hole" style. I really don't think I've done anything wrong, but you tell me.

I have a friend who is a little bit sensitive. I think it's just her personality, but also she's been having a bit of a tough time lately at work. I think she and her boyfriend might have some Covid-related strife, I don't know. Point is, she's a little on the sensitive time.

I'm a very jokey, irreverent person. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor and like to joke around with my friends. I spend a lot of time around men and maybe that's why. Also, I have ADHD and sometimes struggle a bit with picking up on certain social signals.

Anyway, I tease this friend sometimes. Nothing serious, just lighthearted ribbing. She takes herself SO seriously. Sometimes if she's lamenting some job- or boyfriend-related drama, I'll crack a joke about it to lighten the mood. Or I'll snap a silly photo of her while we're all hanging out (socially distanced, of course, don't freak out) and post it to Instagram or Facebook with a funny caption. I just think it's all of us having a good time.

But she cannot take a joke. She gets mad at me every time, and will say things like "I don't think that's funny" or ask me to take down a photo I posted of her. I kind of roll my eyes at it, but she's getting really obnoxious about it. Honestly, I think I tease her more because she's so sensitive about it. I think she just needs to get over herself and lighten up.

So, what do you think? Am I the A**hole?

YTA, and the bolded is why. I am less sensitive than some of my friends and have had to apologize when I have inadvertently hurt feelings, so I was ready to be on your side. But you're just picking on her because you think she's sensitive. That's definitely asshole behavior.

[Anonymous]

YTA. She has made it clear that she doesn't like your idea of joking and yet you keep doing it. Cut it out.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

LOL, no. What we are saying is that you are not really her friend.

Somehow I'm not surprised that you got universal consensus that YTA and have turned it into "everybody but me is wrong" and "she's not really my friend." You lack all self-awareness and are, by your own telling, a crummy person to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

You are a piece of shit. In fact, you are such a massive piece of shit that I call troll, because no human could be this oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Ok now I think this is a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

YATA: I would say that you are not really HER friend. You’re deliberately being mean to her in ways that you know she’s sensitive about, and you justify it to yourself as “no big deal” even when you realize that it is a big deal to her. Friends don’t do that. Not even my acquaintances would do that more than once.

You don’t have to change yourself, you just need to befriend other people with your sense of humor — if that’s what you want to call it. I’m glad to know that she has other friends. I hope they treat her with respect, thoughtfulness and empathy, along with a more mature level of humor.

[Anonymous]

My sister could write this. You know why she posts unflattering pics of me? To make herself look and feel better. Don't be that person OP. You are a jerk and you know it. You aren't funny. A true funny friend is someone who knows how to make humor without making others feel bad.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sensitive and I would be super pissed if you posted photos of me, making “silly” faces or not, after I asked you not to.
Also, I have ADD - not cool to blame your asshole behavior on that. You weren’t sensitive to her feelings a few times? Fine. Could be ADHD. Repeatedly? That’s just being a dick.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

I don’t believe that you’re not a troll, but I’ll humor you. You don’t take unflattering, candid pictures of a friend, who you know is upset by that, and post them to social media. You don’t criticize and mock and tease her about upsetting stuff in her life.

This is the kind of thing you do to someone you hate.

There is something seriously wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Are you taking candid photos of this ‘friend’ when she isn’t looking?? That’s creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

The photos are not a big deal TO YOU. The fact that you can't understand that she might not want pictures of herself posted, flattering or not, means you don't really get her. You sound like you just do what you want and you don't really care about your "friend."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

So why did you post? We are all telling you what you are doing is decidedly not ok, and yet you still think it is. Let me spell it out: It is not ok. You're being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

YTA, OP. For so many reasons, maybe including trolling.

But while we’re at it, let’s discuss why you have such a need to be a superficial cool chick with no empathy, and why you have to post everything you do With others on social media?