AITA: teasing a friend

[Anonymous]

Wow OP, are you my sister? She treats people like you do this person. I can read my sister like siblings can and I see that she gets a rise out of doing so. For some reason treating like that makes her feel clever and superior. Then when they call her on it she claims that they are the sensitive ones. I am watching right now as her friends drift away from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

OR, you're really obtuse and lack self-awareness. YTA when you do something someone has repeatedly asked you not to do, whether you think it's a big deal or not. Would I want to be friends with a hypersensitive silly woman? No. But I would not purposely antagonize her either. It's clear from your post that you don't really care about her or her feelings, so just cut ties. She won't be devastated, I'm sure, and you can pick friends who "get you" and your "sense of humor".

Thank you for someone finally recognizing that she is being hypersensitive. I agree I can be obtuse sometimes, but if she just had a thicker skin, it wouldn't matter. Everyone else seems to like me fine, so I know it's not just me.

Unfortunately, I don't know that I can get rid of her that easily. As I said before, we have a lot of friends in common. But I guess I could try to distance myself from her in general and stop hanging out one on one or inviting her to my stuff. I feel like she'll just make a big deal out of that as well, though.

So YTA, and your take away is how to "get rid of her?" That again, makes YTA.
You could "get rid of her" or.... hear me out with this incredibly radical idea that has probably NEVER occurred to you. STOP BEING THE A-HOLE.

[Anonymous]

The only people who treat their friends like this are extremely insecure people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only people who treat their friends like this are extremely insecure people.

And assholes.

[Anonymous]

You’re an a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

In all seriousness, OP, are you on the spectrum? That is the most generous explanation I can come up with for your attitude and behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

In all seriousness, OP, are you on the spectrum? That is the most generous explanation I can come up with for your attitude and behavior.

You’re being too generous to OP, who is a bully and an a-hole. You’re being offensive to people with ASD. She’s not being socially unaware. She knows the other person doesn’t like it and wants her to stop, yet she’s continuing because she knows that person wants her to stop.

Bullies do that. They say mean things then claim they’re joking and blame the other person for being too sensitive or not having a sense of humor. Bullies may have issues with mental illness or learning disorders, but what OP is describing doesn’t sound like ASD. Sounds more like low self esteem, tearing someone else down to build herself up.

[Anonymous]

You are a huge a55hole.

Don't use the fact that you have trouble picking up on social cues as an excuse.
My son has ADHD and picking up on social cues is his greatest challenge in life and he would never, ever treat a "friend" this way.

You can't use your ADHD as an excuse, because you've listed every single reason why you do it.
You know why you do it, so you do it.

You're a bully. Periodt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

OR, you're really obtuse and lack self-awareness. YTA when you do something someone has repeatedly asked you not to do, whether you think it's a big deal or not. Would I want to be friends with a hypersensitive silly woman? No. But I would not purposely antagonize her either. It's clear from your post that you don't really care about her or her feelings, so just cut ties. She won't be devastated, I'm sure, and you can pick friends who "get you" and your "sense of humor".

Thank you for someone finally recognizing that she is being hypersensitive. I agree I can be obtuse sometimes, but if she just had a thicker skin, it wouldn't matter. Everyone else seems to like me fine, so I know it's not just me.

Unfortunately, I don't know that I can get rid of her that easily. As I said before, we have a lot of friends in common. But I guess I could try to distance myself from her in general and stop hanging out one on one or inviting her to my stuff. I feel like she'll just make a big deal out of that as well, though.

Good God, have you ever thought that the reason she's hyper sensitive is that she's insecure with herself and lacks confidence??

Get rid of her??
She should be so lucky to rid her life of you, lol.

You sound like you have ZERO self awareness or empathy OP and you're just an awful person.

[Anonymous]

You're an a-hole. just because you describe yourself as a jokey person does not mean you're funny or it's ok.

[Anonymous]

OP, since your post does not even tell us what you actually did, but simply excuses and finds all sorts of justifications for your behavior without telling us in plain English what that behavior is, I'm guessing you did something much worse that you will admit.

Without knowing details, I think you are an asshole. With details, I'll bet dinner you are an asshole.

[Anonymous]

You are the ah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

In all seriousness, OP, are you on the spectrum? That is the most generous explanation I can come up with for your attitude and behavior.

You’re being too generous to OP, who is a bully and an a-hole. You’re being offensive to people with ASD. She’s not being socially unaware. She knows the other person doesn’t like it and wants her to stop, yet she’s continuing because she knows that person wants her to stop.

Bullies do that. They say mean things then claim they’re joking and blame the other person for being too sensitive or not having a sense of humor. Bullies may have issues with mental illness or learning disorders, but what OP is describing doesn’t sound like ASD. Sounds more like low self esteem, tearing someone else down to build herself up.

PP here. You’re right, and I apologize. I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt, but looking over the posts again, it’s clear OP isn’t really missing social cues, she’s just malicious.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are the a$$hole. I've been you in the past, picking at friends. Well, it wasn't kind, and it wasn't really well meant.

Why are you intentionally torturing your friend when she has made it clear that she doesn't like it? It has nothing to do with you "spending time with men" that's BS. It has nothing to do with ADHD and picking up social signals, because clearly you've picked them up. You are being unkind. You are digging in and teasing her more when she asks you not to. You are rolling your eyes at her to indicate your disdain.

You are not a good friend. YATA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

OR, you're really obtuse and lack self-awareness. YTA when you do something someone has repeatedly asked you not to do, whether you think it's a big deal or not. Would I want to be friends with a hypersensitive silly woman? No. But I would not purposely antagonize her either. It's clear from your post that you don't really care about her or her feelings, so just cut ties. She won't be devastated, I'm sure, and you can pick friends who "get you" and your "sense of humor".

Thank you for someone finally recognizing that she is being hypersensitive. I agree I can be obtuse sometimes, but if she just had a thicker skin, it wouldn't matter. Everyone else seems to like me fine, so I know it's not just me.

Unfortunately, I don't know that I can get rid of her that easily. As I said before, we have a lot of friends in common. But I guess I could try to distance myself from her in general and stop hanging out one on one or inviting her to my stuff. I feel like she'll just make a big deal out of that as well, though.

OP you missed the line I underlined here. OP, she might be hypersensitive, but that doesn't give you the right to antagonize her. I agree, you are a bully. And you are being mean. Hopefully she'll "get rid of" you before you have a chance to torture her any longer.