AITA: teasing a friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

You are doing something you know upsets her, and you intentionally keep doing it. In fact, you do it more, because you know it upsets her. You are intentionally upsetting her.

And your explanation is, "well, I gotta be me."

Yes, YATA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

OR, you're really obtuse and lack self-awareness. YTA when you do something someone has repeatedly asked you not to do, whether you think it's a big deal or not. Would I want to be friends with a hypersensitive silly woman? No. But I would not purposely antagonize her either. It's clear from your post that you don't really care about her or her feelings, so just cut ties. She won't be devastated, I'm sure, and you can pick friends who "get you" and your "sense of humor".

Thank you for someone finally recognizing that she is being hypersensitive. I agree I can be obtuse sometimes, but if she just had a thicker skin, it wouldn't matter. Everyone else seems to like me fine, so I know it's not just me.

Unfortunately, I don't know that I can get rid of her that easily. As I said before, we have a lot of friends in common. But I guess I could try to distance myself from her in general and stop hanging out one on one or inviting her to my stuff. I feel like she'll just make a big deal out of that as well, though.

This is absolutely psychotic. Please, seek counseling. You are not okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

So resisting your impulse to upset your friend is “walking on eggshells?” YATA, 100%.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for total A-hole. I would not be friends with the OP nor would anyone I know. She’s sounds insufferable.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely HATE people like OP. Maybe your friend is hypersensitive -- so what? Everyone has flaws and weaknesses; good friends don't pick and poke and prod at them. You are not a good friend -- you are deliberately trying to hurt her, and you are blaming her for your unkindness.

Please leave this woman alone. She will probably breathe a sigh of relief not to have to deal with your "sense of humor."

[Anonymous]

Wow, yes, you are the assh*le OP.

[Anonymous]

OP - sarcasm is a slippery slope, and it's not attractive the older you get. It doesn't matter that you're good at it, or witty, or clever. It's not attractive. Sorry. Lose it.

[Anonymous]

You keep saying she's the problem. "If she'd only get a thicker skin" etc. Maybe she does have thin skin, but you definitely are an asshole. You're intentionally acting immature and pushing her buttons. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posting photos without permission isn't ok. Ever.

Most people can take a gentle ribbing, but if you can tell she's uncomfortable... why continue? Find another way to have fun with her.

YTA.

+2 to all of this. I'm more like you with the sarcasm and teasing. But if someone has repeatedly told you they don't like those things then STOP.

[Anonymous]

OP won't post any more because she has convinced herself that all posters here clearly misunderstood the situation she presented and she believes that she is now the victim.
How does it feel, OP, to be the one without the "thick skin"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

You are doing something you know upsets her, and you intentionally keep doing it. In fact, you do it more, because you know it upsets her. You are intentionally upsetting her.

And your explanation is, "well, I gotta be me."

Yes, YATA.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

Not only are you an asshole, but you are a bully, and might be a sociopath. She doesn't like it. Stop doing it, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am not a troll -- I genuinely think what I'm doing is okay and this woman is overreacting. I think it is just not translating the way I'm explaining it. Or I've just attracted the most hypersensitive group of poster ever. I don't know. The reaction seems weirdly harsh.

So now you've convinced yourself that WE'RE the hypersensitive ones, huh?

Boy, you'll delude yourself into believing anything, just as long as it means you get to avoid taking a long, harsh, realistic look at yourself in the mirror.

You're a typical bully.
You perceive a weakness in someone and then you move in for the kill... that's called a bully.
It is NOT being hypersensitive of her, as you are intentionally making her a target of yours.

If you think that we're being hypersensitive, then why not post this *exact* post to reddit (don't edit it to make yourself look better) and then you'll get the REAL answers you seek.

Will you accept the fact then?

[Anonymous]

Teasing in general makes people a$$holes. By its very definition, it's "humor" at someone else's expense. OP, why don't you poke fun at yourself, at your photos, at your job, at your relationship if that's how you roll. More power to you and you get to have your humor the way you want it, but you're the punch line. Leave other people out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think you guys are getting it. The photos I post are not a big deal. They are like candid photos where she is making a weird face or something. They might be mildly embarrassing but nothing to get worked up about. I actually had one of her that was genuinely really unflattering and showed it to her. She even got mad about that and I didn't even post the photo, I just texted it to her.

I guess what you are saying is that she is not really my friend. I don't know, maybe you are right. We have lots in friends in common though, so we see each other a lot. I just don't see why I should have to walk on eggshells around her or change my whole sense of humor because she is so sensitive.

In all seriousness, OP, are you on the spectrum? That is the most generous explanation I can come up with for your attitude and behavior.

I wondered this as well - on the spectrum or narcissistic. I think the latter. An autistic person wouldn’t have the social skills to recognize they were being the asshole and would need to be told by the woman whose picture was posted. But an autistic person also wouldn’t have the social skills to be able to deliberately continue the emotional torture (accidentally, maybe, deliberately, no).

A narcissist does typically understand that another person would be uncomfortable but without being able to have any empathy. A narcissistic person also would be unable to hear criticism and re-cast it as support for his position.

YATnarcissisticA