Is my step-DC entitled?
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Anonymous
| I dread this....step-DD's Birthday is next month and she wants a spa treatment for herself and two of her friends at a high-end spa. She has not given a gift to me or my kids (her brother and sister) for the past two years for our Birthdays, but I am expected to pony up. This year she said that she was going to make or bake something for her younger siblings, but ended up just showing up for the celebration and didn't contribute anything timewise or even tried to make/buy a small gift. I am just kind of sick of it and plan on giving her a nice Birthday card with a Happy Birthday note from me and the kids. Am I wrong here? |
Anonymous
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how old is she?
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Anonymous
| Where is her father in this? |
Anonymous
| OP--she is 17 turning 18. Father does not say anything.... |
Anonymous
| It's always the step kids .... |
Anonymous
This. Teens are selfish and expensive. What does her dad want to do? I would set a limit financially—I could easily see something like the spa for 3 people ending up being over 1K. I wouldn’t want to spend that much on a kid birthday present (unless that’s in line with what you usually spend...) |
Anonymous
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Are you going to stop her dad from giving her the gift? That’s evil.
Gift giving has to be supported by example and encouragememnt. If it’s important to you that she give your children gifts then you need to support that in a material way. Like take her out shopping for them, or even just ask if she could give them gifts. |
Anonymous
What does this mean? Stop being cryptic. Does he want you to buy his daughter a present? What did you do last year? |
Anonymous
| Tell her no. |
Anonymous
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My recollection of being a teen was that my mom and dad would take the lead on respective bday gifts/celebrations. I would always get my mom and dad something but usually they would prompt me to do it. I dunno, I think that's kinda part of being a teen and if the dad is AWOL on these issues I think you're expecting a lot from a teenager.
That said, I think it's ok to impose financial limits on the bday gift you get her. It sounds like she's asking for a pretty expensive gift so I probably wouldn't be inclined to pay that much for a bday gift...esp since you probably have a lot of extra expenses this year with her applying to and visiting colleges. |
Anonymous
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How is 17 year old supposed to buy you and her half or step siblings presents? Usuallyparents buy present for kids. If kids do buy something for a parent it is usually something small. If she has no money, how is she to do this?
She is expecting a present from her parent who is your spouse. As she should, not from you really. She does not sound entitled. She could be wanting a Range Rover. Plus, pony up? She is your family, do you dread ponying up for your won kids presents? How many presents do you receive from your own children? |
Anonymous
OP--gave her a $50.00 gift card last year to the clothing store she likes/shops at and a nice card. Last year my husband spent over $600 bucks on her Birthday gifts and a party. I ended up buying all the Birthday gifts for my kids on my own. |
Anonymous
| She is what she is at 17, but you are a McScrooge. |
Anonymous
You sound like a nasty stepmother. Sorry, but you do. Try to remember this when your own children are teenagers. |
Anonymous
She is working five days a week since she was 16; we do not expect her to pay for anything at the house. All her expenses are covered. |